r/relationships: It makes it sound worse when phrased like that.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: It makes it sound worse when phrased like that.

«‹›139 »

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018; Can't post for 2 hours!

Cythereal posted:

DH (28m) thinks my (33f) boobs (I cup) are too big. Is this a big deal?

"I have giant boobs and am actively fantasizing about having sex with a woman."

"Your tits are disgusting and I think you're ugly."

He should divorce her with a personality like that I�m sure he can do better than a unicorn with massive tits and a small waist.

# ? Apr 19, 2024 12:39

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 2, 2024 18:54

Enemabag Jones: Mar 24, 2015

When I'm done with you it won't just be the hashbrowns scattered, smothered, and covered

# ? Apr 19, 2024 12:46

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

Cythereal posted:

quote:
I have limited insight into the male psyche, do you think this is something that's a big deal to him or is it probably a minor matter of preference that doesn't mean much in the long run?

Have you considered talking to that motherfucker, maybe? No? Okay, let's just ask reddit then.

# ? Apr 19, 2024 12:57

DreamingofRoses: Jun 27, 2013; Nap Ghost

Shanghaied posted:

Have you considered talking to that motherfucker, maybe? No? Okay, let's just ask reddit then.

She did talk to him and that�s what put her in this position in the first place.

# ? Apr 19, 2024 13:46

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Batterypowered7 posted:

Um, actually, if you don't spell it bourgeoisie then you're a filthy philistine.

Bourgeoisie is the class of people, bourgeois is the adjective describing the behavior that justifies their violent expropriation.

I hate it when people say �judgy.� The word is �judgmental.� Aw, was the waitwess all judgy-wudgy when you ordered chickie nuggies for your 40th birthday party?

# ? Apr 19, 2024 14:16

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

Halloween Jack posted:

Bourgeoisie is the class of people, bourgeois is the adjective describing the behavior that justifies their violent expropriation.

I hate it when people say �judgy.� The word is �judgmental.� Aw, was the waitwess all judgy-wudgy when you ordered chickie nuggies for your 40th birthday party?

Please check your language policing, it makes me very uncomfy.

# ? Apr 19, 2024 14:20

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

thread gettin' bougie up in here

# ? Apr 19, 2024 14:25

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

Being judgy and being judgmental are two different (although similar) things. If you're judgmental, you judge things more or worse - or both - than you probably should. If you're judgy, you assume your judgments have some sort of authority, like a judge's.

Compare:
Judgmental person: "You are an animal because you watch anime."
Judgy person: "You are an animal because you watch anime. You must stop watching anime!"

# ? Apr 19, 2024 14:28

Steve Vader: Apr 29, 2005; Everyone's Playing!

I would have thought judgy implied a temporary state, like "you're being a little judgy right now, don't you think" vs. judgmental being a more permanent and defining personality trait.

# ? Apr 19, 2024 14:32

mystes: May 31, 2006

I think they mean the same thing

# ? Apr 19, 2024 14:32

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

accidently accused my wife of cheating on me, but actually it was just my daughter - and now we may divorce.

quote:

Hey Reddit - Throwaway account (for obvious reasons)

Also, sorry for the length, a ton on my mind right now.

Me (52M) and my (50F) wife have been married for 25 years, and are immensely happy. We of course have the normal fights: me not cleaning the bathroom, argue about me losing money on sports betting, her spending twice as much at the shops as we agreed to, etc. - but overall have a really happy marriage.

Until about 8pm yesterday night.

Recently, we've been having a bit of trouble in the bedroom. I don't want to derail the post, but basically sex has naturally slowed down between the two of us in the last couple years.

This has really bothered my wife (and bothered me a bit also, I will admit). Once we vocalized the problem, we both agreed we're going to take steps to fix some things.

We talked to some doctors, basically all of them wanted to put my wife on some serious medications - which my wife was pretty against.

This led to about a year of building what we call "our sex drawer" filled of products in the kitchen that my wife has tried and tested and likes the ingredients of.

It's nothing crazy, literally things like vitamin D, zinc, some lubracil softgels, maca - stuff that has been tried and tested, nothing too wild and all OTC.

Now, here's where things start to go downhill.

So, my wife naturally takes these products around the times we're going to be getting intimate (or try).

Now, I don't like monitor the kitchen drawer but sometimes I do peak (I know, but I can't help it).

About three-ish weeks ago I noticed a ton of pills and softgels were disappearing.

Me, thinking I'm about to having a pretty good week - I start to get mentally prepared for it.

So, about a week after that, I re-check the drawer - and a ton more of the stuff has been taken. I remember thinking "that's weird, we haven't done anything recently".

About a week later, the same thing happened, tons of pills and softgels are gone. And I'm not going to lie, I get in my head a bit.

Last night, me and my wife are out to dinner. After a couple glasses of wine I ask my wife why she's been taking so much of the stuff in the sex drawer without trying for any intimacy. I asked coming from an angle of both worry (mostly for health) and confusion.

Immediately my wife get's insanely defensive, blows off the conversation and tells me she isn't talking about it. This (of course) makes it where now it's the only thing I want to talk about, and while I respect everyones "I don't want to talk about this", I think something like this should probably be loving discussed.

I press a bit, and for about an hour she's not having this convo. Basically, it gets to the point where I just blatantly ask my wife if she's seeing other people.

My wife, who has NEVER been aggressive or loud - starts basically screaming at me in this Italian restaurant.

She tells me my daughter (25F) has been having some "relationship issues" with her boyfriend, and has been taking some of the stuff to "help."

I'm like, why the gently caress didn't you just tell me? She goes on a rant about how some things are "girl to girl" and how my daughter didn't want her telling anyone. Which I get but come on, I buy the things to fill the drawer.

My wife ends up leaving the restaurant mid-dinner. I've honestly never seen my wife this mad, I'm honestly a bit worried for our marriage. And to top it off, my daughter is acting awkward around me.

I get that I stepped out of line with the questioning, but the defensiveness really caught me off guard, and would have assumed my daughter using our stuff would have been discussed (and I wouldn't have actually cared, and would have bought more stuff).

Anytime I try to talk to my wife, she makes it seem like I'm an insane out-of-control monster, that I've broken the trust in our marriage, and that I've ruined 25 years of progress we've made together.

Reddit, am I crazy? I'm beyond confused right now.

---edit (4 hours since I posted)---

Wow, a lot of incredible information in here, thank you to everyone for your comments. This post has made me feel better, and has allowed me to think about other aspects of our marriage.

I've seen a ton of requests for info, so let me try to answer some of the questions here.

Me and my wife didn't go to the doctor for only "libido" issues - I don't know the general age of Reddit, but as you get older things like menopause and other hormonal issues became a reality (just the way of life).

I didn't "plan" on questioning my wife at the dinner, it had been in the back of my head, and after a few glasses of wine I handled the situation poorly (which I 100% agree with all of you, not the right time or place) - though we've had tough conversations before in public (still doesn't justify it).

Calling it a "sex drawer" may have been a bad name, but it's just how we reference it - we didn't really think too deeply when coming up with the name, and I don't know actually which one of us created it.

I don't have a good reason why it's in the kitchen, but we're kind of past the age of caring about what someone may or may not see in our home.

I wasn't "monitoring" the sex drawer, the lubracil softgels (which we keep out of the box) come only in a 30 pill supply - half the pack or so missing (I didn't count) is very obvious even at a quick glance.

And for why I didn't automatically assume my daughter - the softgels mentioned above and some of the other stuff in there are for a specific thing (outside of the vitamins), while I don't know the ingredients too intimately, you wouldn't really expect those things to be shared.

And finally, for those mentioning that my wife is still actually hiding something - I appreciate your comments, and it has given me a ton to think about. While I won't jump to those type of conclusions, I do agree that there is probably more that needs to be discussed between me, my wife, and my daughter.

Me, angrily confronting my wife with a half-empty bottle of Centrum Silver - �Are you cheating on me?!?�

# ? Apr 19, 2024 14:35

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

Jfc do you not have another drawer in the house??? Don't have your sex drawer in the kitchen!

"Hey would you hand me a spoon? In the drawer- NO NOT THAT DRAWER!!!"

Also the 25 yo daughter should get her own sex drawer.

Shanghaied fucked around with this message at 14:47 on Apr 19, 2024

# ? Apr 19, 2024 14:45

kdrudy: Sep 19, 2009

artsy fartsy posted:

AITAH for feeling like my husband cheated?

Fellas,

I mean, it sure beats Super Mario Bros

# ? Apr 19, 2024 14:50

idiotsavant: Jun 4, 2000

Admiral Joeslop posted:

AITA if I get angry on my husband because he woke me up from my sleep?
Today afternoon after completing all my houseworks and doing my editing work

holy hell I hope it�s like, video editing otherwise fuckin OOF

# ? Apr 19, 2024 14:50

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

ChickenOfTomorrow posted:

AITA for making fun of my friend for getting sloppy seconds?

Rugby festivals are an opportunity to get hosed up and gently caress fit people who share your interests. Anyone who gets judgmental about it should be cast into the outer darkness.

Dameius posted:

My (29F) Boyfriend (29M) keeps getting into fights with a cook at Waffle House

We finally have an answer to the question "What would Charles Bukowski have been like without the booze?"

# ? Apr 19, 2024 15:27

captainOrbital: Jan 23, 2003; Wrathchild!
💢🧒

Halloween Jack posted:

Bourgeoisie is the class of people, bourgeois is the adjective describing the behavior that justifies their violent expropriation.

I hate it when people say �judgy.� The word is �judgmental.� Aw, was the waitwess all judgy-wudgy when you ordered chickie nuggies for your 40th birthday party?

Yeah, I hate it when people say "aggravate" when they should say "irritate" or "less" when they should say "fewer" but language is going the way of stop signs and turn signals oh it's that GODDAMN CLOUD AGAIN I SEEN YOU

# ? Apr 19, 2024 15:41

jemand: Sep 19, 2018

The Bramble posted:

accidently accused my wife of cheating on me, but actually it was just my daughter - and now we may divorce.

Me, angrily confronting my wife with a half-empty bottle of Centrum Silver - “Are you cheating on me?!?”

I'm getting weird controlling vibes from this dude. Equivalency of him losing money in sports bets to her store spending-- but what kind of stores? Is this just more expensive groceries? That would sound stupid, but one of the reasons he's mad he didn't get to know in advance of his daughter taking some was that "he pays for it"-- but these seem like basic household supplies, albeit intimate ones?

How much equal agency to cash does his wife get-- I'm curious if she works or not.

The fact he was unable to drop the conversation to another location is another example of things having to go how he wants them to.

Anyway it's not incontrovertible, but it does really make me wonder.

# ? Apr 19, 2024 16:00

Admiral Joeslop: Jul 8, 2010

AITA for telling my SIL she's not welcome near my baby at all?

quote:

My SIL cannot physically have children but she did adopt her daughter 11 years ago (her daughter is 12). About 2 years ago she started harping on her husband a lot about wanting to adopt another baby and he was never on board. It wasn't too long after she started expressing her desire to have adopt another baby that I fell pregnant. At first my SIL just didn't say much of anything to me but when I was around 5 months old, she really started loving with me.

She started inviting me over all the time and often put it in my head that I wasn't capable of taking care of a child (because I have a history of depression). She was just constantly saying "I'm worried about you" or "I fear you will have postpartum psychosis" and she said everything in such a way that I actually started believing her. It hosed with my head nearly every night. This continued until I was nearly at my due date but it always amped up a little every time. Like her last couple comments were "I'm not sure if you can handle it and if something goes wrong, I'm going to have to fight my brother for custody of the baby" and "you know I will take custody of the baby if you can't handle it". And it got to my head so much that I stupidly thought she was just showing concern and not being a manipulative oval office.

Anyways, I gave birth in October and my SIL came over to see the baby when she was about 2 weeks old. When she was holding her she started to cry and I went to take her back and she shoo'd me away and said "no, she's fine" and just started bouncing my kid until she eventually fell asleep. Unfortunately I did have PPD and I just.. didn't say anything. I clammed up. And as soon as she left 2 hours later, I lost it. Bawled my eyes out while holding my daughter. And honestly, it made my PPD worse if anything. Because of that interaction, I didn't want anyone near my daughter or to hold her. I ended up checking myself in to therapy. I'm loads better now, but through therapy I have developed a very large, overdue, shiny spine. And through therapy and some realization, I can now see that my SIL was using manipulation tactics to make me feel less than so I would give her custody of my daughter.

Well, she asked me last week if she could come "steal the baby away" for some snuggles. I told her no. She asked why and I was honest and said that I don't trust her because of all of her comments throughout my pregnancy and her refusal to hand my daughter back to me like I requested when she was here so no, she wasn't allowed around my baby at all. She argued that I cant just cut her off with no warning and that this just "proves that she was right" and that I'm "clearly having a manic episode" and told me that I'm simply unable to see that I'm potentially putting my baby in danger and that I should be allowing family (aka her) to take the baby so I can "get my head on right". I blocked her off everything. But she's not getting my MIL involved and causing problems for my husband. AITA?

# ? Apr 19, 2024 16:05

Lottery of Babylon: Apr 25, 2012; STRAIGHT TROPIN'

The Bramble posted:

accidently accused my wife of cheating on me, but actually it was just my daughter - and now we may divorce.

I press a bit, and for about an hour she's not having this convo.

Browbeating his wife in public for a full hour over loving vitamins

Reddit is on the case!

commenter with 2500 upvotes posted:

Something�s up. That reaction is way outsized for a perfectly reasonable line of questioning when met with obstruction and obfuscation

OP posted:
Seeing this as the top comment right now has me questioning so many things. I don't want to overreact right now.

commenter with 700 upvotes posted:

NTA. Your wife is 100% in the wrong here, you don't get to do suspicious poo poo, then act even more suspicious, and then throw a temper tantrum when your behavior is met with suspicion.

OP posted:
Thank you, this has made me feel a bit less crazy.

Looking forward to this idiot digging himself even deeper with help from Reddit's brightest investigative minds.

# ? Apr 19, 2024 16:13

idiotsavant: Jun 4, 2000

Check her loads, op. She says she�s been taking a lot of extra zinc but the proof is in the pudding, and if she isn�t blasting ropes then who is???

# ? Apr 19, 2024 16:20

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018; Can't post for 2 hours!

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4jUFeRgYbe/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

This story ties into a few different all time hits but I don�t want to spoil it

# ? Apr 19, 2024 16:22

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

drat, now I actually want to know what happens if you're on estrogen and you take a lot of zinc. That won't kill me or give me kidney stones or anything, right?

# ? Apr 19, 2024 16:27

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

I just like the word zinc. Riboflavin too.

# ? Apr 19, 2024 16:28

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

Admiral Joeslop posted:

AITA for telling my SIL she's not welcome near my baby at all?

Welp RIP to the OP and her husband.

# ? Apr 19, 2024 16:29

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I just like the word zinc. Riboflavin too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfIop2qLy0k

# ? Apr 19, 2024 16:34

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Admiral Joeslop posted:

AITA for telling my SIL she's not welcome near my baby at all?

Sounds like an Amber Alert in the making.

# ? Apr 19, 2024 16:35

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

SulfurMonoxideCute posted:

Sounds like an Amber Alert in the making.

Yeah the SIL is going to call an amber alert on the mom for kidnapping her own baby by not handing it over to her

# ? Apr 19, 2024 17:05

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

"Ahahahahaha, you'll go insane, and I'll fight your husband, my brother, for the custody of your child, ahahahahahaha!"

- An extremely sane and rational person

# ? Apr 19, 2024 17:26

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Well on the plus side, Amber Alerts aren't actually useful so when SIL does it, it won't be taking away from actual lost kids.

Wonder how long until we have an update with a restraining order and SIL pounding on the door and poor idiot hubby trying to make peace with both sides?

# ? Apr 19, 2024 17:40

Cloacamazing!: Apr 18, 2018; Too cute to be evil

Halloween Jack posted:

drat, now I actually want to know what happens if you're on estrogen and you take a lot of zinc. That won't kill me or give me kidney stones or anything, right?

No idea how zinc interacts with estrogen, but it's very easy to take too much zinc if you're using supplements. Recommended daily intake is 10 mg per day, taking more than 25 mg per day is strongly advised against. Since a lot of common food contains decent amount of zinc, you shouldn't supplement more than 10 mg daily, if any. Usually people get enough zinc from regular food. And yes, too much zinc can give you kidney stones.

# ? Apr 19, 2024 17:43

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

Lottery of Babylon posted:

Browbeating his wife in public for a full hour over loving vitamins

Reddit is on the case!

Looking forward to this idiot digging himself even deeper with help from Reddit's brightest investigative minds.

Look, in the last paragraph it�s clear he�s going to call a family meeting between himself, his wife, and his 25 year old daughter to discuss the sex vitamins. Let�s wait for the transcript to be published before we jump to any conclusions.

# ? Apr 19, 2024 17:51

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018; Can't post for 2 hours!

RELEASE
THE
TRANSCRIPT

# ? Apr 19, 2024 17:53

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Butter Activities posted:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4jUFeRgYbe/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

This story ties into a few different all time hits but I don�t want to spoil it

This is a whole new level of "disaster lesbian".

# ? Apr 19, 2024 17:56

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Catastrophe lesbian?

Armageddon lesbian?

Extinction-lesbo event?

# ? Apr 19, 2024 18:10

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

haveblue posted:

Catastrophe lesbian?

Armageddon lesbian?

Extinction-lesbo event?

Chixalicken Meteor event

# ? Apr 19, 2024 18:33

Qylvaran: Mar 28, 2010

Halloween Jack posted:

Rugby festivals are an opportunity to get hosed up and gently caress fit people who share your interests. Anyone who gets judgy about it should be cast into the outer darkness.

FTFY

Also: r/relationships: Extinction-Lesbo Event

# ? Apr 19, 2024 18:35

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

One morning as I was leaving for work, "High High Hopes" was on the radio when I turned the car on, so I switched it as fast as I could. I was about to drive off when my spouse came running out the front door and asked me if I was okay. I was like yeah, why? And they said "You were just screaming 'No, no, no' at the top of your lungs so I came to see what was wrong"

But they totally understood.

Qylvaran posted:

Also: r/relationships: Extinction-Lesbo Event

That's only if you try to drive after they throw the Jell-O shots at you. I was fine.

# ? Apr 19, 2024 18:37

CoffeeBoofer: Dec 10, 2023

quote:

My husband won't let me take more than two showers a week. I told him I need him to stop or I'm moving out for a while.

This is the weirdest thing my husband has ever done. He really is a sweet and loving husband and I love him more than anything. Divorce is not an option just to put that out there before the comments come in.

My husband has always been a little out there. He is a computer programmer and super smart, but also believes all sorts of things. Both real and conspiracy. Lately he has been very worried about the environment and global warming.

About two months ago he got real worried about water. Yes, water. He is concerned about the quality of water. He put in a new filter system in our house which I actually love because it tastes so much better.

But he is also concerned about how much water we use. Not because of money, but the environment. He created a new rule that we can only take 2 showers a week. Now I'm someone that likes to shower everyday before bed. I just don't like feeling dirty in bed.

This has created the most conflict in our marriage in 20 years. He is obsessed with the amount of water we use. At first I just ignored his rule, but he would shut off the hot water while I was in the shower.

I started trying to use the shower at the gym, but it's too much work to go every night with having kids. I honestly thought he would get over this within a month. But he is stuck on this still to this day.

Last night I really wanted a shower, but had "hit my quota" as he says. I said I'm showering and that he better not do anything. But about two minutes in, the hot water turned off.

I grabbed my towel and went down and started yelling. Telling him this is the dumbest thing he has ever done. I also told him I'm moving to my parents if he doesn't stop this.

Guys, I love this man. He is everything to me, but I can't take this anymore. Am I going to far in threatening to move out?

Sorry, he has engineer brain

# ? Apr 19, 2024 18:38

Lt. Danger: Dec 22, 2006; jolly good chaps we sure showed the hun

The Bramble posted:

accidently accused my wife of cheating on me, but actually it was just my daughter - and now we may divorce.

Me, angrily confronting my wife with a half-empty bottle of Centrum Silver - �Are you cheating on me?!?�

counterpoint if the daughter didn't want anyone else to know maybe she could buy her own stuff. or perhaps the wife could have just not made a promise she could never keep. like there's a couple of points of failure before we get to screaming in a restaurant

# ? Apr 19, 2024 18:40

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 2, 2024 18:54

Mordiceius: Nov 10, 2007; If you think calling me names is gonna get a rise out me, think again. I like my life as an idiot!

Cythereal posted:

DH (28m) thinks my (33f) boobs (I cup) are too big. Is this a big deal?

"I have giant boobs and am actively fantasizing about having sex with a woman."

"Your tits are disgusting and I think you're ugly."

This guy and reduction-guy should just wife swap.

# ? Apr 19, 2024 18:48

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: It makes it sound worse when phrased like that.

«‹›139 »