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I want to get hold of a 'university degree' from one of those places you send 20 or 50 bucks to, then they mail back a certificate suitable for framing. I know that there are many vendors of same in the U.S., where fortuitously most goons abide. Though I'm normally an impressively honest person ('backup' etc. copies excepted perhaps), I was prompted to want to be a Dr-by-mail after hearing an Australian comedian perform tonight. He described how he'd taken to filling out airline passenger forms with 'Dr' as his unearned title, and how airlines consequently upgraded his seats to First Class for free. The comedian, Doug Chappel Jr., told me when quizzed after the show that another passenger collapsed during one flight, and a stewardess called on him to help. Fortuitously a real MD was aboard, meaning 'Dr' Chappel Jr. just managed to avoid severe embarrassment (and maybe fellow traveler death) via a series of clever fudges. Not something I'd want to try to emulate, so I'm after a $20-50 Philosophy Doctorate, which would not be lying as we're all philosophers here. I'll then be listing myself as "Dr" whenever I travel, and hopefully scoring free seat upgrades. If there's an actual medical emergency, I'll immediately admit I'm just a mere Dr of Philosophy, and prepared only to apply basic first aid, or discuss the nature of disease, whether it is something mankind deserves or not, with reference perhaps, time-permitting, to the Hindu concepts of karma, Christian concepts of preventative prayer, healing etc., medicine as enlightened self-interest in secular Humanist philosophy, and the existentialist concept that life sucks so get over it. A bit like Dr Hunter S. Thompson (R.I.P.) I guess, and who doesn't want to be a bit like the good Dr. So has anyone here bought a qualification from a similar 'degree mill'? If so, please state the company's name, website if there is one, how long ago you purchased your impressive qualification, and you know it, and why you were so pleased with your purchase (nice printing, on thick cardboard, they throw in an ID card for free, or whatever). BigBadSteve has a new favorite as of 14:43 on May 6, 2014 |
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May 5, 2014 16:55
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJq8rqr4IcQ
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May 5, 2014 17:22
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After a little scholarly research online, I see that Ashwood University, which The Chasers War On Everything crew bought a degree from in the video, currently charge $1,149 for a doctorate. Granted, you get 10 documents, including 4 scam letters I wouldn't be using anyway, but this still seems quite excessive. Any better deals anyone? (Less premium cardboard would be acceptable if it saves me ~$1,100).
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May 5, 2014 17:56
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What stops you from listing yourself as Dr anyway? They're not going to do you for fraud.
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May 5, 2014 18:09
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See, going straight to a doctorate in my case wouldn't be helpful. What I need is just a bachelor's I can pay for. Something that will fly under the radar and not stand up to scrutiny. Like, I got my Bachelor's in Amalgamated Studies at the American College of Inquiry. Very generic.
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May 5, 2014 18:14
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Anal Surgery posted:See, going straight to a doctorate in my case wouldn't be helpful. What I need is just a bachelor's I can pay for. Something that will fly under the radar and not stand up to scrutiny. Like, I got my Bachelor's in Amalgamated Studies at the American College of Inquiry. Very generic. Is that an actual organisation or did you make it up? I can't find any record of it online.
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May 5, 2014 18:27
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Don't get your fake degree in comedy.
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May 5, 2014 18:39
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N. Senada posted:Don't get your fake degree in comedy.  Is yours in Literary Criticism?
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May 5, 2014 18:43
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_animals_with_fraudulent_diplomas
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May 5, 2014 19:15
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Fatty posted:What stops you from listing yourself as Dr anyway? They're not going to do you for fraud. Lying is bad, m'kay. Just so it's quite clear, this is a serious question, I really do want a pay-and-mail PhD at a very affordable price. And am not quite dumb enough to answer my spam e-mails for possibles.
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May 5, 2014 19:22
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[Oops]
BigBadSteve has a new favorite as of 14:48 on May 6, 2014 |
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May 5, 2014 19:29
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Wouldn't just buying a phD be lying, too? It's usually assumed if you've done one, you've done work accordingly.
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May 5, 2014 19:47
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BigBadSteve posted:A bit like Dr Hunter S. Thompson (R.I.P.) I guess, and who doesn't want to be a bit like the good Dr Thompson shot himself in the face. Have you looked into that op?
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May 5, 2014 21:09
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Aerofallosov posted:Wouldn't just buying a phD be lying, too? It's usually assumed if you've done one, you've done work accordingly. It could be argued that I have sufficient life experience to qualify, but in lateral areas/activities which would be unlikely to be recognised by mainstream universities.
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May 5, 2014 21:15
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Stick Figure Mafia posted:Thompson shot himself in the face. Have you looked into that op? Indeed, some time ago I conducted extensive multimedia research into the good doctor's life and death. My findings, in brief, were that I should not become too much like Dr Thompson. So I will continue to not use copious amounts of drugs including alcohol (or any for that matter, having used up my lifetime quota some decades ago), and will take care to not rest on my laurels until old age takes me. In this brutal and dangerous age, fear and loathing must be counteracted with great Cunning, Power and Love. The latter, of course, not of the paisley-draped starry-eyed sort that ends up with a terminal skull fracture from an efficiently wielded truncheon or fist. Some expert googling has revealed a fine institution which charges a fraction of the exorbitant amount mentioned above, if not a trivial sum. The spelling and grammar on the cheapest-appearing so-called 'diploma mill' websites I viewed were unimpressive to say the least, a very poor auspice for their vendors' goods. All involved should be whipped like egg-sucking dogs, as should of course all plagiarists. So it appears that very soon I am to be rewarded with a Doctorate. And consequently, one hopes, free upgrades to the premium airline seats a hard working professional like me deserves. I've always found their-multi-class queueing and seating systems to be quite discriminatory, so will feel fulfilled and useful in doing my bit to destroy the system from the inside. I do not at this stage plan on using my hard won PhD for any other purpose. I am a man of very strong moral fibre, as might be expected of a soon-to-be Liberal Arts graduate. Plus I wouldn't want to get caught. I won't give the name of the educational institution involved in case those of ill intent use the information for their own nefarious purposes. One can't be too careful in the Endtimes. Thanks to all those who contributed, and, err, no thanks, I guess, to those who didn't.  TL;DR: Nothing to see here, move right along. BigBadSteve has a new favorite as of 14:50 on May 6, 2014 |
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May 5, 2014 21:47
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Stop typing like that.
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May 6, 2014 00:37
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