Post itt and I'll tell you how much you need to retire

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Post itt and I'll tell you how much you need to retire

Blue's Clues

Blue's Clues fucked around with this message at 21:53 on Jun 28, 2014

# ? Jun 4, 2014 03:04

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 14, 2024 15:46

Eye of Widesauron

# ? Jun 4, 2014 03:06

Pinche Rudo

tell me how much old people dollars I need

# ? Jun 4, 2014 03:07

Blue's Clues

Blue's Clues fucked around with this message at 21:53 on Jun 28, 2014

# ? Jun 4, 2014 03:07

Blue's Clues

Blue's Clues fucked around with this message at 22:02 on Jun 28, 2014

# ? Jun 4, 2014 03:08

cruft

Wait you mean in dollars.

I thought it was going to be like "holy crap, cruft, you really need to retire."

But go ahead and I'll tell you how it compares to what Fidelity's online tool said.

# ? Jun 4, 2014 03:10

impure flutter

# ? Jun 4, 2014 03:10

Blue's Clues

Blue's Clues fucked around with this message at 21:53 on Jun 28, 2014

# ? Jun 4, 2014 03:12

Savage For The Winjun

do me op

just a bit of background i plan on having a meltdown and killing myself long before natural causes take me

# ? Jun 4, 2014 03:12

Blue's Clues

Blue's Clues fucked around with this message at 21:53 on Jun 28, 2014

# ? Jun 4, 2014 03:13

Blue's Clues

Blue's Clues fucked around with this message at 21:53 on Jun 28, 2014

# ? Jun 4, 2014 03:15

cruft

Blue's Clues posted:

Surprisingly only $475 on account of the skydiving incident on your 65th bday

Wow, good to know. No point in contributing to the 401(k) then, I may as well spend that money on extravagant hobbies like skydiving!

# ? Jun 4, 2014 03:16

Awesome!: Ready for adventure!

ive been contributing to my 401k since i was 18 please dont tell me im gonna die before i can at least use some of it

# ? Jun 4, 2014 03:17

Blue's Clues

Blue's Clues fucked around with this message at 21:54 on Jun 28, 2014

# ? Jun 4, 2014 03:20

FluffieDuckie

ok hit me

# ? Jun 4, 2014 05:07

A Bad King: Suppose the oil man,
He comes to town.
And you don't lay money down.

Yet Mr. King,
He killed the thread
The other day.
Well I wonder.
Who's gonna go to Hell?

and me

# ? Jun 4, 2014 05:08

Awesome!: Ready for adventure!

Blue's Clues posted:

Unfortunately your third wife, Louise is going to take you to the bank at 64. Saving is futile at this point. Chin up!

this is oddly prescient as I have a weird thing for kristen schaal and thus will probably associate the name louise with her forever.

# ? Jun 4, 2014 05:11

Blue's Clues

Blue's Clues fucked around with this message at 21:55 on Jun 28, 2014

# ? Jun 4, 2014 05:24

Blue's Clues

Blue's Clues fucked around with this message at 21:54 on Jun 28, 2014

# ? Jun 4, 2014 05:28

WindmillSlayer

Me?

# ? Jun 4, 2014 05:28

A Bad King: Suppose the oil man,
He comes to town.
And you don't lay money down.

Yet Mr. King,
He killed the thread
The other day.
Well I wonder.
Who's gonna go to Hell?

Blue's Clues posted:

Need for savings quite low on account of your successful line of eyebrow-shaping cream released in Mediterranean market at age 49.

But it is a good investment what with all those greeks and brown people...

# ? Jun 4, 2014 05:30

Ace of Baes

go 4i t

# ? Jun 4, 2014 05:31

mags: I am a congenital optimist.

i have a lot of expensive hobbies like crippling anxiety disorders

# ? Jun 4, 2014 05:36

Reset Button

im here. im queer. im used to it

# ? Jun 4, 2014 05:37

pig slut lisa: irl is good

i am a pretty good saver, do me op

# ? Jun 4, 2014 05:38

Blue's Clues

Blue's Clues fucked around with this message at 21:54 on Jun 28, 2014

# ? Jun 4, 2014 05:41

WindmillSlayer

Blue's Clues posted:

You actually don't need to save a penny, as you'll find a man to provide for you well into your twilight years.

cool

Blue's Clues posted:

But only if you stop posting those drat threads.

rude

# ? Jun 4, 2014 05:41

Blue's Clues

Blue's Clues fucked around with this message at 21:54 on Jun 28, 2014

# ? Jun 4, 2014 05:48

Ace of Baes

Blue's Clues posted:

You become an international sensation known as "Greg the Chaps Man," taking your prurient routine around the world for insane amounts of money. Later, your sales of rear end molds (with real touch orifice) will dominate the QVC market well into your ninth decade. Suggestion: don't save.

what am i supposed to do with all this money and assets then

# ? Jun 4, 2014 05:49

Blue's Clues

Blue's Clues fucked around with this message at 21:54 on Jun 28, 2014

# ? Jun 4, 2014 05:51

Blue's Clues

Blue's Clues fucked around with this message at 21:54 on Jun 28, 2014

# ? Jun 4, 2014 05:54

Blue's Clues

Blue's Clues fucked around with this message at 21:54 on Jun 28, 2014

# ? Jun 4, 2014 06:00

pig slut lisa: irl is good

Blue's Clues posted:

On account of your masterful saving regimen, your need will only be $290k. Unfortunately due to repeated pig rape you will struggle with Trichomoniasis well into your end days. Sorry: yearning leads to burning

rape is for the unwilling :wink:

# ? Jun 4, 2014 06:04

joke_explainer

Man, I really need this advice. I just turned 30 and apparently I need to think about having more than enough to buy a lovely used car in savings. This isn't chilling me out though. What do I need Clues?

# ? Jun 4, 2014 07:49

ForeverSmug

my retirement plan is three bottles of tylenol and an exacto knife

# ? Jun 4, 2014 08:52

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# ? May 14, 2024 15:46

vapoursquid: none other

i'm thinking about retiring from my long and successful career in yobbing at some point how much should i save beforehand

# ? Jun 4, 2014 08:56

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Post itt and I'll tell you how much you need to retire