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edited out
Tomahawk fucked around with this message at 03:44 on Jun 27, 2014 |
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Jun 12, 2014 22:54
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The worst way to do this would be to be like Wally in Dilbert like you're talking about doing. Do you have any managers that you like and trust, and can explain that you would prefer to become redundant in the buyout? In large-scale layoffs like this I'm sure they would be thrilled to have an employee willing to take severance and leave voluntarily.
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Jun 12, 2014 23:01
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Twerk from Home posted:The worst way to do this would be to be like Wally in Dilbert like you're talking about doing. Do you have any managers that you like and trust, and can explain that you would prefer to become redundant in the buyout? In large-scale layoffs like this I'm sure they would be thrilled to have an employee willing to take severance and leave voluntarily. My biggest fear in "volunteering" is them interpreting that as "quitting" and I get nothing. I really don't place a lot of trust in management here. Although, I really enjoyed the Wally reference 
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Jun 12, 2014 23:03
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This sounds like fun. Does your boss have an attractive wife? If so, I could suggest a facebook status to get some negative attention from management.
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Jun 12, 2014 23:14
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I actually did volunteer once. I pointed out the lifers that were basically nearly unemployable elsewhere, the single mom, and the guys with families to support and mentioned I'd be fine. They ignored me, laid off the single mom and a guy that had been there 25 years, and I left shortly afterwards for a better opportunity.
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Jun 12, 2014 23:30
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Many layoffs come with a volunteer package, which can be better or worse than being voluntold you no longer have a job. Some companies choose not to do a voluntary separation program. The problem with offering those kinds of packages that businesses tend to lose their best employees first. Especially when the long term outlook for that company looks grim. The people who volunteer to take a package are typically the high performers who are most confident they have the skills to find work again quickly.
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Jun 13, 2014 00:08
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I would just ask your boss directly if you can get a layoff or ask them who you need to talk to in order to receive a lay off. Of course in my industry asking for layoffs is common place.
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Jun 13, 2014 01:04
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Volunteering is not quitting, don't worry about that at all. When layoffs come, people volunteer all the time. Consider this:Cavepimp posted:I actually did volunteer once. I pointed out the lifers that were basically nearly unemployable elsewhere, the single mom, and the guys with families to support and mentioned I'd be fine. The noble co-worker strategy. Doubt it works if you just do that, and be careful that it doesn't make you look so good that they start to see you as future leader in the company. I'd consider pointing out that you may leave after the layoff anyway, making everyone remaining's life that much harder when you do. Talk to your manager, talk to his/her manager, talk to HR. Don't slack off to get laid off. That is a terrible idea, it'll be totally transparent, and it probably won't work, purely out of spite. Forget just doing your job though, you need to start thinking about what makes your managers life easier, and start doing it. You are doing that to curry favor. Start making their life easier so that they like you more, it's that simple. Then bring in the possibility that you're heading out soon anyway. Keep in mind that no one cares about you, so everything should be framed as how lovely it will be after other people get laid off, and then you leave anyway. Your manager will clearly picture themselves still employed, and they don't want to be understaffed, which would make their life more difficult, hence, a situation they would like to avoid. Have you seen Inception? Plant the ideas in their head so that they think it was their own idea. You need to start inceptioning people. Next thing you know your manager will be offering you the very thing you wanted as if it were his/her idea. For what it's worth, I am in the process of engineering a long drawn out, and very lucrative layoff. I had to play a lot of cards right, but in the end, it will be easily $150k worth of various bonuses and severance packages. That poo poo is two years away, but hey, I also parlayed a promotion out of it until they axe me, so I'm down with making $110k a year until I get to the other side of that rainbow.
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Jun 13, 2014 02:24
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You can definitely asked to be let go. Making decisions regarding who to lay off is not an easy task for a lot of managers. There might be a few that are exceptional or poor performing, but most people are capable of doing their job. A company with good hiring practices will tend to hire capable people and it will be hard to make that decision. In all likelihood, the company will probably set guidelines for determining layoffs. When the company that I work for laid off people in 2008, they were pretty systematic about it. I was told that the first to be cut were contractors, then developers were let go in order of least seniority, then the managers of the smallest teams would be next.
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Jun 13, 2014 04:10
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I actually went to my boss and was about to hand him my resignation letter and he stopped me and told me to come back in a couple days so he could check to see if he could lay me off instead so I'd get a severance package and I'd be allowed to keep my health insurance for a period of time. Didn't work out for me, but it's totally possible to volunteer to be laid off.
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Jun 13, 2014 04:14
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oRenj9 posted:In all likelihood, the company will probably set guidelines for determining layoffs. When the company that I work for laid off people in 2008, they were pretty systematic about it. I was told that the first to be cut were contractors, then developers were let go in order of least seniority, then the managers of the smallest teams would be next.
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Jun 13, 2014 05:22
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My dad signs up for the no work list all the time. He is already getting social security so the unemployment and working some weeks is a good supplement. Just tell your boss if he is laying people off to lay you off first.
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Jun 13, 2014 14:59
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The real problem is, even slacking off, I'm still leagues better than most of my coworkers. I don't think they'd want to lose me. But I have to wonder where the logic is in keeping somebody who doesn't want to work for you.
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Jun 13, 2014 15:11
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Tomahawk posted:My biggest fear in "volunteering" is them interpreting that as "quitting" and I get nothing. I really don't place a lot of trust in management here. Although, I really enjoyed the Wally reference That's true, be very careful. I had a friend get denied a settlement from a company because their lawyers were able to argue that he had been deliberately self-sabotaging.
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Jun 13, 2014 15:21
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As others have said talk to your immediate manager or someone higher up if you trust them. I was at a job for 9 years, the writing was on the wall that there would be a large layoff soon, morale was at 0. I got a new job, and on my way back from accepting it the director of the division announced he was quitting only to take it back 2 hours later. (He was talked out of it because they finally told him the layoff was coming, he was on it, and just stay for the juicy juicy severance.) When I got back to the office I went to talk to someone, my direct manager had stopped showing up for work days before, so I went to a manager that I matrix reported to. Just laid the cards on the table, I know there's a layoff coming, I know the list is being put together, I want to be on it. He tried to talk me out of it with the weakest pitch I ever heard. "Just stay for 9 more months and then you'll have 10 years with the company and in the next layoff you'll get one week more per year severance!" I fought but it turned out that when they were making the list it was either me or a coworker on it for our role, and the coworker had quit 3 weeks before to join the company I was going to. Ultimately it turned out for the best, it took 3 months for corporate to approve the layoff and implement it, and I was long gone by then, but I still would have loved to have that sweet sweet severance. (1 month + 2 weeks per year with the company at my rate.)
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Jun 14, 2014 15:20
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It depends what type of company you work for. If you volunteer for a layoff, they may interpret that as you wanting to leave. Why would they pay you to leave if you're likely to quit anyway? Redundancy tends to target the least productive workers, those who won't leave because they know they will struggle to find another job. If you're one of the most productive workers, they'll want to keep you.
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Jun 14, 2014 17:48
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Tomahawk posted:The real problem is, even slacking off, I'm still leagues better than most of my coworkers. I don't think they'd want to lose me. There is no logic, it's human interactions. If your managers are on their way out, they don't give a poo poo, and if they like you they'll do you the favor you want by laying you off. If they're staying, and your leaving will make their work lives more difficult, they could just stonewall you because: gently caress you, now I have to replace a good worker.
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Jun 14, 2014 18:23
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Cicero posted:Wait, so they cut every single developer before they started on any of the managers? I managed to literally get a job offer the same day I got laid off at a company because I basically hated every org that had openings and that worked out fine for me. Getting a severance is always pretty nice when you're young and flexible.
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Jun 15, 2014 21:31
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This is the best thread title I have seen in ages
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Jun 16, 2014 07:46
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When I was in retail (CompUSA, 8 worst months of my life), we got handed a list from Corporate of 9 people to lay off. Once the axes started coming, people started volunteering to leave to save people who wanted to stay that were on the list. One of our front end leads decided she was fed up, had a husband who could float her for a bit, and wanted to go. It allowed us to go to higher management and save a lead we were told to cut who really wanted and needed the job. If you know someone who's being cut that wants to stay that's in a similar position to you, you may be able to offer to save them and get the severance. Ultimately it's up to management, but if Bob is being cut and wants to keep the job, you might be able to take his place.
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Jun 16, 2014 14:49
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How did I miss this thread. I've technically done this twice. First time, I baited a layoff with the leave of absence policy. I worked in IT and I decided to change careers because I was routinely being poo poo on by my employer. My company had a leave of absence policy if I wanted to go back to school, and I'd been there more than long enough to qualify. Also, from my long time at the company, I knew that they did layoffs about every other year, so the next one was due. I also found out that managers could lay you off while on educational leave of absence, and it counted as a full headcount towards their "layoff at least X headcount" goals. Also, the company would continue to cover their part of my health insurance while I was on leave if they didn't lay me off. So my situation was good if they kept me, better if they laid me off. They laid me off about 3 months into my leave. I got severance equal to about 3 months of pay and qualified me for unemployment. As it happened, this was in 2008. As part of the economic recovery plan, unemployment was extended to 99 weeks. I drew unemployment for 2 of the 3 years I was in school. It was glorious. And, it terms of dollars, it is probably the second best economic decision I have ever made. The second time was less slick. My career change didn't stick, so I was back in IT. The company hired me for a contract funded position. That is to say, the money that paid my salary came from a contract with another company, but I was a regular W-2 employee. About a year into the job, the other company announced that they weren't going to renew the contract, so my position was going away. The company announced a severance package with a relatively high base payout (not based on time with the company) of about 12 weeks pay to encourage some of us to stick around until they closed up shop. All I had to do was not leave before the end of the year. My daughter was born about a month after that, so I took the whole thing like extended paternity leave and I took one more college class that I was missing to get a certification. I had planned to go into business for myself after that, but the same company called me up and offered me more money to come back to a position that wasn't contract funded. I like this employer, so I took it. Lesson learned: 1) Know your state's unemployment laws. Know how you qualify for benefits, and what you have to do to maintain them. And know your exceptions. While I was a full-time student, I did not have to apply for other work to keep my benefits. I'm pretty sure that's a federal rule. There was an exception process with a form I had to get the dean of my school to sign. And I still had to show up to the office every month to list all the companies I'd sent my resume to, all zero of them, and watch a training video. 2)Read that severance package in detail. Some of them includes a "retraining fund" that you can apply towards your tuition if you follow through on the forms. Mine was worth about $2k, and I'm ashamed to say I missed it. Quick Edit: Unemployment Insurance, which is what unemployment payments are technically called, is a benefit you own. Your employer is legally obligated to provide it, but it is YOUR benefit. Turning it down when you qualify is like turning down your severance package. It is not welfare. This should not be controversial at all. On the more controversial subject of welfare programs, like WIC or SNAP (We ALMOST qualified for a bit) or ACA reimbursements, take those too. If you are fortunate, you will be paying into these programs all of your life and never use them. If you find yourself in a situation where you can use them, then do so. Most of these programs are based on income and not assets. Learn how they calculate income. Folly fucked around with this message at 15:49 on Jun 16, 2014 |
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Jun 16, 2014 15:38
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Folly posted:Quick Edit: Unemployment Insurance, which is what unemployment payments are technically called, is a benefit you own. Your employer is legally obligated to provide it, but it is YOUR benefit. Turning it down when you qualify is like turning down your severance package. It is not welfare. This should not be controversial at all. This is a very good point. I lost my job when I was 19 and my dad gave me poo poo about applying for unemployment. He said that was for freeloaders, etc. so I didn't apply. A couple weeks later, after I had I read about how it all works I applied. I didn't feel bad one bit about receiving a benefit that I had paid into.
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Jun 16, 2014 16:07
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Manager's often have a specific language for these kinds of things. The best way to communicate your desire to get laid off, is to wait for your boss to go to the bathroom. Make brief eye-contact with him before he enters the stall then go the one next to his. Start tapping the foot closest to his stall several times and inch it his way. Once your foot touches his foot, use your opposite hand (so if your left foot is touching, use your right hand) and slide it under the divider several times with the palm of your hand facing upwards. He'll know what you want and will hopefully lay you shortly thereafter. Discretion is key here.
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Jun 18, 2014 16:54
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Worked with a couple people who were wanting to get laid off. Only took about 4 years before it happened! I can't even find my employers severance package policy on our portal. Doesn't appear to be in the employee handbook. I suspect it consists of "don't let the door hit you on the way out".
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Jun 18, 2014 18:17
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Only the largest employers would have a standard one. Most severances are specific offers tied to that specific layoff. The main purpose of offering a severance package is getting the employees to sign a lawsuit waiver. The job market changes year to year, so a standard package may be too good for that goal one year and too small the next.
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Jun 18, 2014 18:43
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