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I make sketch comedy in Hollywood, CA. I like to post the finished product on SA because I typically get pretty honest opinions. Let me know what you think! How to Lie to Your Crazy Girlfriend https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xU7hYzvhWBk
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Jun 19, 2014 06:28
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I liked the gags quite a bit, laughed a few times. I like how it was shot, the quality, sets, costumes, etc. I started to see some character coming through - but I felt that unfortunately all three actors had such similar over-dramatic, exaggerated and almost goofy or cartoonish styles. Having all four characters acting in such similar ways took away from my suspension of disbelief and ability to connect with them as genuinely (yet unintentionally) funny people. I think that if each character had contrasting styles of vocal, facial and gestural expression it'd work far better. Somewhat like It's Always Sunny orrr Parks and Rec in which each character is so very different and that creates the conflict more than anything else (i.e. in your case, the plot of friends trying to stand up for a [presumed] roommate, which still worked to a degree.) The ending, was okay, but a little too out of nowhere. If the snake had been introduced earlier, i.e. with an intro scene of them casually feeding it THEN sitting on the couch, I think that'd add to the laughs. Although I personally liked it some may feel put off when going from goofy/immoral young adults to absurdist humour as it's very contrasting. It went from the shows I previous mentioned to something that'd be on Adult Swim but in real life. Hope that helps.
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Aug 6, 2014 13:53
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Coming from a guy who enjoys some of Balloon Shop's antics, I really liked this one. It was amusing throughout, but made me actually chuckle (shock!) when he started emerging from his "hiding place". I agree, I liked how it was shot, the acting, and the jokes were consistently hitting positively (for me, anyway). Probably the highest form of compliment: I will share this with my friends so they can enjoy it as well. EDIT: Yeah, it would have been even better if they had been holding the snake or it had been shown in some way so we see it but forget about it until the end.
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Aug 6, 2014 15:12
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Definite improvement from that awful Snapchat one you posted last time. I took a bit of a tour through your channel, and I think there's potential here. Sound and lighting are good, the actors seem to know what they're doing, the sketch concepts are workable. My issue is that you're forcing the humour a bit much. If everything is ALL WACKY ALL THE TIME, we have no benchmark to set our sense of normal against. That's why The Straight Man is so important in comedy: he reminds us that this is occurring in our same world and brings the weirdness closer to home. There's no normal people in any of your videos: everything is just bugfuck insanity all the time and we've got no context to place it in. The audience needs a normal dude to empathise with. Also, you seem to have a problem with punchlines. You're getting better at it with time, but a lot of your videos seem to meander aimlessly for too long and then never deliver on anything. The Snapchat one is probably the worst offender: I remember watching it when you posted it being totally eh about the whole thing.
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Aug 7, 2014 11:12
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I think the part where the dudes show a video of the guy "being in boston" with a cousin is a bit odd. Since the audience knows that the guy isn't really in Boston we have to assume that he found some wacky/weird/creative way to stage "him being in a club with his cousin" in a hastily set up green screen studio in the basement or something, but the audience never gets to see that. That makes it into just a weird part of the video depriving it of humor and meaning. Other than that its a pretty cool vid. I do agree with the guy saying it might be a bit too forced in being funny. More subtle stuff works better imo, like the dude at the start of the vid standing in a weird position with his butt in the air. It's not a major punch line but it's still funny and adds to the atmosphere of the vid.
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Aug 19, 2014 03:26
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