kevin cosner in his most boring role yet...

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WetNightmare: by sebmojo

kevin cosner is a meter man reading electrical meters on the side of peoples houses when he notices somebody has a garden hose with a kink in it well cosner just so happens to have a better garden hose in his car that he wants to give and he knocks on the door of this stranger to perform this kind deed with touching piano movie music in the background and a beautiful woman answers and they fall in love then break up and fall in love at the end it is called love meter and it is 3 and a half hours long

# ? Aug 21, 2014 19:20

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# ? Jun 2, 2024 11:34

ulvir

sounds better than his real movies tbh

# ? Aug 21, 2014 19:21

A Bad King: Suppose the oil man,
He comes to town.
And you don't lay money down.

Yet Mr. King,
He killed the thread
The other day.
Well I wonder.
Who's gonna go to Hell?

I can't sit through 3 and a half hours.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 19:22

i am he

Meter Maid - kevin costner is a the meter man carrying a hose through the streets back to his car but stumbles into a meter maid about to put a ticket on his van and they get tangled up in the hose. but the hose takes on a life of its own and squeezes them up togehter and they switchb odies. costner has to get used to life as a meter maid and in the end learns, maybe they arent so differnet after all. but he never regains his old body.

e; the meter maid is played by melissa mccarthy

# ? Aug 21, 2014 19:24

watho: The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

i own the extended cut on bluray

# ? Aug 21, 2014 19:24

WetNightmare: by sebmojo

kevin cosner is a janitor who gets fired but he refuses to stop janitoring he keeps going to the same school every day and mopping until they kick him out then he comes back next day well a substitute teacher (wynona rider) falls in love with him but at first he doesnt even want her he just wants to janitor but then he realizes he had love all along and doesnt need to janitor anymore it is called mop passion

# ? Aug 21, 2014 19:27

i am he

michael keaton is a happy, healthy, garbage man just trying to live his life when he falls into a magical dumpster voiced by samuel l jackson that transforms him into the boss of the garbage company. he gets sick of the prestige and just wants his old life back but before samuel l dumpster will let him have it he must get back together with his old high school girlfriend, now rival garbage company nemesis, uma thurman. It's called Don't Trhow Away Love.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 19:31

WetNightmare: by sebmojo

wynona rider: [throws kevin cosners mop into the sea]
kevin cosner: no! no!!
wynona rider: [close up of beautiful face] im your mop.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 19:31

i am he

WetNightmare posted:

wynona rider: [throws kevin cosners mop into the sea]
kevin cosner: no! no!!
wynona rider: [close up of beautiful face] im your mop.

lol

# ? Aug 21, 2014 19:31

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

i am he posted:

Meter Maid - kevin costner is a the meter man carrying a hose through the streets back to his car but stumbles into a meter maid about to put a ticket on his van and they get tangled up in the hose. but the hose takes on a life of its own and squeezes them up togehter and they switchb odies. costner has to get used to life as a meter maid and in the end learns, maybe they arent so differnet after all. but he never regains his old body.

e; the meter maid is played by melissa mccarthy

# ? Aug 21, 2014 19:33

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

WetNightmare posted:

wynona rider: [throws kevin cosners mop into the sea]
kevin cosner: no! no!!
wynona rider: [close up of beautiful face] im your mop.

pffffhahaha

# ? Aug 21, 2014 19:33

i am he

keaton: that old b-*word obscured my sound of garbage being dumped out of truck*? i havent seen her since graduation day..
dumpster: you don't know what you had motherjunker! she's the best god-*horn* thing that ever happened to you! and you threw it all away!

# ? Aug 21, 2014 19:34

Looke

WetNightmare posted:

wynona rider: [throws kevin cosners mop into the sea]
kevin cosner: no! no!!
wynona rider: [close up of beautiful face] im your mop.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 19:34

WetNightmare: by sebmojo

kevin cosner is a civil rights activist in the 1960s who fals in love with a police dog that bites him at a rally but they soon learn they share a lot in common in this romantic comedy doggy style

# ? Aug 21, 2014 19:38

Stormyish

Fry Love You - Kevin Cosner stars as a minimum wage McDonalds worker, when a woman with flowing brunette hair comes up to him and states that her burger doesn't have pickles on it. Kevin apologize and returns to her with a new burger that has pickles on it and a complimentary small fry. They fall in love for about a week, break up, get back together and get married. Run-time two hours and fifty five minutes.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 20:02

GEExCEE

kevin costner stars as a regular midwestern guy with a wife and two kids. he inherits this plot of land that he doesn't really know what to do with, and starts hearing voices in his head: "If you build it, they will come." He interprets this as a message, telling him that he needs to build a baseball field. He does it, and there's a montage of him working on the pitcher's mound, the bases, mowing the grass for the field, etc. He gets around to building the dugout, and the first night after he finishes it, he goes out to admire his work and guess what? there's the ghost of a hobo there in the dugout, cranking one out. At first it's just one, but the next night, there's three. The next night, there's 10, 20, 25. Costner, despite himself, is consumed by the passion these men have. Their passion for jerking it has persisted past death. Though he knows his family would never understand, Costner finds himself unable to restrain himself from going out to his field, to j/o together like in the old days, under the light of the moon. 7/10 stars, runtime 109 minutes. Rated G.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 20:32

i am he

kevin cosner, car mechanic, fixing a car gettin his hands dirty. he sees some sexy heels walk up to the car. slides out and gets up wiping the sweat and oil off his brow in a sexy old guy manner to see who the sexy lady is. its jonah hill, fat jonah hill. can you fix my car he asks? *gestures towards on old beat up honda prius* cosner: :rolleyes:

here we go again

# ? Aug 21, 2014 22:27

Pizzatime

kevin costner is a lone-wolf delivery man for a botanist. on one of his tours he comes across a spunky orphan girl. at first they don't like eachother but because of a biker gang suddenly appearing he helps covering the girl and they become friends. the girl tags along on costners tour to deliver the botanic goods while costner drives seemingly recklessly and skilfully. they eventually come across the biker gang again and take out their headquarters in a fantastic 2-man mission. they eventually discover a nice place to live where costner plants the only plant they couldn't deliver & adopts the girl. the movie is called earthworld.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 23:05

Iseeyouseemeseeyou

# ? Aug 21, 2014 23:06

Living Shield

WetNightmare posted:

wynona rider: [throws kevin cosners mop into the sea]
kevin cosner: no! no!!
wynona rider: [close up of beautiful face] im your mop.

# ? Aug 22, 2014 01:17

Bluedeanie: It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?

kevin costner is a man who loves baseball so much his job is baseball related, but despite doing baseball work he goes home unhappy every night until one night he meets a beautiful woman (sally field) at the stadium where he does baseball work. they fall in love but break up after a heated argument of the merits of hot pretzels over the traditional hot dog, then they get back together and get married. 3 hours 21 minutes

# ? Aug 22, 2014 01:17

tao of lmao

Kerwin Craster is a small town sheriff two weeks from retirement who lives.

# ? Aug 22, 2014 01:22

Izumi Konata: by Ralp

WetNightmare posted:

it is called love meter and it is 3 and a half hours long

epic samery

# ? Aug 22, 2014 02:25

Barco Fiesta: a fantasy of olives

WetNightmare posted:

wynona rider: [throws kevin cosners mop into the sea]
kevin cosner: no! no!!
wynona rider: [close up of beautiful face] im your mop.

lmao

# ? Aug 22, 2014 02:50

lite_sleepr

sounds like the beginning of a cool porn :c00l:

Oh my mister meter man, I'm barely dressed *lets a shoulder strap slip off*
:byodood:

Well ma'am, I noticed the hose you have is kinked and thin. I have a thicker hose for you here *gesticulates towards pen0r*

# ? Aug 22, 2014 03:41

Pinche Rudo

Kevin Costner is a wrongly convicted prisoner working on a chain gang when he meets high powered corporate attorney Helen Hunt stranded on the roadside while picking up trash. He fixes her flat tire and they fall in love and she gets him exonerated and they move to Hawaii together. It's called "Unchain my heart" running time 3 hours 45 minutes

# ? Aug 22, 2014 03:54

Izumi Konata: by Ralp

vigorous sodomy posted:

sounds like the beginning of a cool porn

Oh my mister meter man, I'm barely dressed *lets a shoulder strap slip off*
Well ma'am, I noticed the hose you have is kinked and thin. I have a thicker hose for you here *gesticulates towards pen0r*

omg, u just found :coolbert:, this thread has a cool new thread tag, nice av bro, and everything is coming up milhouse.

i can sleep well now, ty

# ? Aug 22, 2014 03:54

lite_sleepr

Izumi Konata posted:

omg, u just found :coolbert:, this thread has a cool new thread tag, nice av bro, and everything is coming up milhouse.

i can sleep well now, ty

I can't. There's a hole in my air mattress thanks to my stupid cat.

Iseeyouseemeseeyou posted:

*pony porn*

So uh... got a source for your avvy?

# ? Aug 22, 2014 03:58

SpamPudding

Kevin Costner is John Dunbar, a small country boy who grew up on his family's farm only knowing how to tend sheep, until he had a wacky encounter with a scrappy young wolf named Chet (voiced by Danny DeVito). Watch this two person wolfpack get into all kinds of zany trouble, and learn what it truly means to be the alpha male. But these pups won't have fun forever as John is drafted to fight in the civil war. How will this wolfkin feel being ripped away from all that he knew and loved? Will Chet only howl for John? How will John survive this horrible cis-species war that he was forced into by the fascist government?

There will be action *giant explosion launching Costner over a civil war era pet store*
Costner: "You monsters could have killed these precious animals!" :qq:

espionage *spy in a tiny black dress*
Wolflady: "So tell me lieutenant, are the rumors true? Are you really, hungry like the wolf?" :wink:

and even

romance

*Costner staring into the eyes of Chet*
Costner: "I'm just a crazy old mixed up wolfkin in this crazy mixed up war, but all I'm certain of is right now I want it ruff."

Know what came before the 90's classic, and experience the first love story where species is knot a problem at Dances with Wolfjob, rated F for furry.

# ? Aug 22, 2014 04:42

emmie

SpamPudding posted:

Kevin Costner is John Dunbar, a small country boy who grew up on his family's farm only knowing how to tend sheep, until he had a wacky encounter with a scrappy young wolf named Chet (voiced by Danny DeVito). Watch this two person wolfpack get into all kinds of zany trouble, and learn what it truly means to be the alpha male. But these pups won't have fun forever as John is drafted to fight in the civil war. How will this wolfkin feel being ripped away from all that he knew and loved? Will Chet only howl for John? How will John survive this horrible cis-species war that he was forced into by the fascist government?

There will be action *giant explosion launching Costner over a civil war era pet store*
Costner: "You monsters could have killed these precious animals!"

espionage *spy in a tiny black dress*
Wolflady: "So tell me lieutenant, are the rumors true? Are you really, hungry like the wolf?"

and even romance *Costner staring into the eyes of Chet*
Costner: "I'm just a crazy old mixed up wolfkin in this crazy mixed up war, but all I'm certain of is right now I want it ruff."

Know what came before the 90's classic, and experience the first love story where species is knot a problem at Dances with Wolfjob, rated F for furry.

wow

# ? Aug 22, 2014 05:11

ron color

FJOB

# ? Aug 22, 2014 06:54

les fleurs du mall: by LadyAmbien

My favourite kevin costner movie is the kevin costner movie all about the life of kevin costner except kevin costner isn't in it and it's about an interesting actor that isn't kevin costner

# ? Aug 22, 2014 15:44

Bluedeanie: It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?

Quickscope420dad posted:

My favourite kevin costner movie is the kevin costner movie all about the life of kevin costner except kevin costner isn't in it and it's about an interesting actor that isn't kevin costner

this description actually describes man of steel, ft. kevin costner

# ? Aug 22, 2014 15:56

Diqnol

James Carpenter is a straight lonely man with a deadened job and no friends. that is, until a prostitute session goes awry and James find himself in bed with a lady boy, ruining his night...or does it? Kevin Costner, Ben Affleck, and Julia Roberts in (dramatic pause) Finding Love In All The Wrong Places

# ? Aug 22, 2014 16:31

WetNightmare: by sebmojo

SpamPudding posted:

Kevin Costner is John Dunbar, a small country boy who grew up on his family's farm only knowing how to tend sheep, until he had a wacky encounter with a scrappy young wolf named Chet (voiced by Danny DeVito). Watch this two person wolfpack get into all kinds of zany trouble, and learn what it truly means to be the alpha male. But these pups won't have fun forever as John is drafted to fight in the civil war. How will this wolfkin feel being ripped away from all that he knew and loved? Will Chet only howl for John? How will John survive this horrible cis-species war that he was forced into by the fascist government?

There will be action *giant explosion launching Costner over a civil war era pet store*
Costner: "You monsters could have killed these precious animals!"

espionage *spy in a tiny black dress*
Wolflady: "So tell me lieutenant, are the rumors true? Are you really, hungry like the wolf?"

and even romance *Costner staring into the eyes of Chet*
Costner: "I'm just a crazy old mixed up wolfkin in this crazy mixed up war, but all I'm certain of is right now I want it ruff."

Know what came before the 90's classic, and experience the first love story where species is knot a problem at Dances with Wolfjob, rated F for furry.

homerun

# ? Aug 22, 2014 18:11

my new dog: by Nyc_Tattoo

Kevin costner is working a help desk for internet customers when a beautiful lady voice calls. My php is awol she says. I fix phps in my sleep. Bitch

# ? Aug 22, 2014 18:15

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# ? Jun 2, 2024 11:34

Bluedeanie: It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?

kevin costner goes to a disenfranchised culture and teaches them how to be better, with baseball
12 hours, released exclusively on special-edition vhs set

# ? Aug 22, 2014 18:51

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