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 OVER BLACK WE SEE: CHYRON A long time ago, in front of a convenience store far, far away-- EXT. QUICK STOP YEARS AGO--DAY We FADE IN on the block of stores (Quick Stop/RST), from sometime ago, In fact, RST isn't RST; it's THE RECORD RACK -- a 45's store with head shop paraphernalia in the window. A white-trash MOTHER (maybe seventeen) wearing a baseball cap comes into frame carrying a chubby BABY. The Baby wears an oversized t-shirt under what looks like a little bathrobe, and messily eats a CHOCOLATE BAR. There are food stamps in the Mother's hands. MOTHER Bobby-Boy stay here while mommy picks up the free cheese, 'kay? She looks up at the bright sun, shielding her eyes slightly, then looks back at the baby on the ground. She takes off her baseball cap and places it on the baby. MOTHER This'll keep the sun out of your eyes. You be good now. She walks away, leaving the baby sitting against the wall. With the backwards baseball cap and the chocolate around his mouth forming something that resembles a beard, the kid looks kind of familiar. Then, another MOTHER (also very young) decked out in a KISS concert shirt from years gone by and huge, feathered hair enters, with a black skullcap wearing BABY slung at her hip. She sees the first Baby, sitting against the wall and sets her Baby down beside him. MOTHER Don't loving move, you little poo poo- machine. Mommy's gonna try to score. A PASSERBY enters, heading toward the convenience store. He takes note of the Babies and the Mother heading into the record store, and then stops and addresses her, disgusted. PASSERBY Excuse me--who's watching these babies? MOTHER The fat one's watching the little one. PASSERBY Oh, nice parenting. (walking away) Leave'em out here like that and see what happens. The Passerby walks away. The Mother flips him the bird. MOTHER gently caress YOU, YOU loving SQUARE! PASSERBY (waving her off) Ah, keep on truckin'. MOTHER (to baby) D'jou hear the crazy gently caress tellin' me how to fuckin' raise you? Motherfucker, man! Who's he loving think he is? What's the worse fuckin' thing could happen to you sitting outside the fuckin' stores? gently caress! The door closes, and the Babies sit there quietly for a beat. Then, they look at each other. The larger one says nothing. The smaller one says-- BABY gently caress, gently caress, gently caress... DISSOLVE TO: THE PRESENT JAY and SILENT BOB stand where the Babies sat. The Record Rack is now RST VIDEO. Jay is mid-chant. JAY (as a chant) --gently caress, gently caress, gently caress, mother-mother gently caress, mother-mother gently caress-gently caress! Mother- gently caress-, mother-gently caress, mother-gently caress, noinch, noinch, noinch, smoking weed, smoking weed, doing coke, drinking beers! Drinking beers, beers, beers, rolling fatties, smoking blunts! Who smokes the blunts? We smoke the blunts! A pair of TEENS approach them. TEEN 1 Lemme get a nickel bag. JAY Fifteen bucks, little man. Put the money in my hand. If the money does not show, then you owe-me-owe-me- owe. (changing up to Morris Day) My Jungle Love! Yes, Oh-we-oh-we-oh! I think I want to know ya', know ya'-- TEEN 1 (digging in pockets) What the hell are you singing? JAY You don't know "Jungle Love"? That poo poo is the mad notes. Written by God Herself and handed down to the world's greatest band--the motherfucking Time. TEEN 2 The guys in that Prince movie? TEEN 1 Purple Rain. TEEN 2 Man, that poo poo was so gay--loving eighties style. Jay suddenly grabs the kid by the throat, throwing him against the wall. JAY Bitch, don't you NEVER say an unkind word about The Time! Me and Silent Bob modeled our whole loving lives after Morris Day and Jerome! I'm a smooth pimp who loves the pussy, and Tubby here's my black manservant! Just then, RANDAL exits the video store, locking the door behind him. RANDAL What'd I tell you two about dealing in front of the store? Drop the kid and peddle your wares someplace else, burn-boy. (walking away) And for the record, The Time sucked rear end. He exits. Jay, Silent Bob, and the Teens watch him go. After a beat-- JAY Yo-youse guys wanna hear something hosed up about him and the Quick Stop guy?
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Mar 5, 2015 22:03
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| # ? May 6, 2024 19:24 |
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party time excellent *guitar riff*
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Mar 5, 2015 22:04
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thread delivers i guess
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Mar 5, 2015 22:05
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the pic could have gone in the pics thread the script probably belongs in cinema discusso 
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Mar 5, 2015 22:14
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a damning indictment
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Mar 5, 2015 22:27
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Mar 5, 2015 22:37
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Silver Alicorn posted:the pic could have gone in the pics thread ohhh now u know about the rules
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Mar 5, 2015 23:45
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| # ? May 6, 2024 19:24 |
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snooch to the nooch
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Mar 5, 2015 23:47
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