PYF Mythological Legends of Old

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Hihohe: Oct 4, 2008; Fuck you and the sun you live under

There are many legends to tell of the old days of mankind. A time when a storm was scary and animals could come into your village and just eat you. So people of the old days came up with stories to explain the world around them and to explain the gods they worshipped

If you got a favorite story this is the place for it.

Fell free to post a whole story instead of a link but keep it to one or two.

Prometheus
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prometheus

The Death of Balder
http://ancienthistory.about.com/cs/norsegodspictures/a/baldersdeath.htm

# ? Apr 24, 2015 15:34

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# ? May 19, 2024 02:57

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

I feel sorry for your thread, so I'll post the most complete tale of Loki and Svaldifari, less because I like it and more because it shows how little it is we're working off of in the case of Norse myth. By the way, "Loke" is an alternate spelling for Loki, just as Sleipnir/Sleipner, Freya/Freyja, and some others you'll see.

the whole drat thing posted:

Ganglere asked: Whose is that horse Sleipner, and what is there to say about it? Har answered: You have no knowledge of Sleipner, nor do you know the circumstances attending his birth; but it must seem to you worth the telling. In the beginning, when the town of the gods was building, when the gods had established Midgard and made Valhal, there came a certain builder and offered to make them a burg, in three half years, so excellent that it should be perfectly safe against the mountain giants and frost-giants, even though they should get within Midgard. But he demanded as his reward, that he should have Freyja, and he wanted the sun and moon besides. Then the asas came together and held counsel, and the bargain was made with the builder that he should get what he demanded if he could get the burg done in one winter; but if on the first day of summer any part of the burg was unfinished, then the contract would be void. It was also agreed that no man should help him with the work. When they told him these terms, he requested that they should allow him to have the help of his horse, called Svadilfare, and at the suggestion of Loke this was granted him.

On the first day of winter he began to build the burg, but by night he hauled stone for it with his horse. But it seemed a great wonder to the asas what great rocks the horse drew, and the horse did one half more of the mighty task than the builder. The bargain was firmly established with witnesses and oaths, for the giant did not deem it safe to be among the asas without truce if Thor should come home, who now was on a journey to the east fighting trolls. Toward the end of winter the burg was far built, and it was so high and strong that it could in nowise be taken. When there were three days left before summer, the work was all completed excepting the burg gate. Then went the gods to their judgment-seats and held counsel, and asked each other who could have advised to give Freyja in marriage in Jotunheim, or to plunge the air and the heavens in darkness by taking away the sun and the moon and giving them to the giant; and all agreed that this must have been advised by him who gives the most bad counsels, namely, Loke, son of Laufey, and they threatened him with a cruel death if he could not contrive some way of preventing the builder from fulfilling his part of the bargain, and they proceeded to lay hands on Loke. He in his fright promised with an oath that he should so manage that the builder should lose his wages, let it cost him what it would. And the same evening, when the builder drove out after stone with his horse Svadilfare, a mare suddenly ran out of the woods to the horse and began to neigh at him. The steed, knowing what sort of horse this was, grew excited, burst the reins asunder and ran after the mare, but she ran from him into the woods. The builder hurried after them with all his might, and wanted to catch the steed, but these horses kept running all night, and thus the time was lost, and at dawn the work had not made the usual progress. When the builder saw that his work was not going to be completed, he resumed his giant form. When the asas thus became sure that it was really a mountain-giant that had come among them, they did not heed their oaths, but called on Thor. He came straightaway, swung his hammer, Mjolner, and paid the workman his wages,.---not with the sun and moon, but rather by preventing him from dwelling in Jotunheim; and this was easily done with the first blow of the hammer, which broke his skull into small pieces and sent him down to Niflhel. But Loke had run such a race with Svadilfare that he some time after bore a foal. It was gray, and had eight feet, and this is the best horse among gods and men. Thus it is said in the Vala's Prophecy:

Then went the gods,
The most holy gods,
Onto their judgment-seats,
And counseled together
Who all the air
With guile had blended
Or to the giant race
Oder's may had given.
Broken were oaths,
And words and promises,---
All mighty speech
That had passed between them.
Thor alone did this,
Swollen with anger.
Seldom sits he still
When such things he hears.

I bolded "son of Laufey" because you Marvel-lovin' dorks probably think that's Loki's dad. Laufey is his mother.

Actually, my favorite translation of the Prose Edda refers to Loki having had "such dealings ;-*

" with Svaldifari, which to me is just a really loving funny phrase for getting hosed by a horse in your horse vagina.

# ? Apr 28, 2015 23:36

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

For god's sakes you goobers.

The 13th-century French-Arthurian Vulgate is the most fanfic-y thing I've read in my entire life, and it's the one Thomas Malory leaned most heavily upon for his English "translation" (more properly an inspired retelling), Le Morte d'Arthur, which was published in 1485. Le Morte d'Arthur is the primary source of Arthurian legend in the English language--if it wasn't based directly on Le Morte d'Arthur, it was based on a book that was. (Again, this applies for English stuff, don't ask me about French or whatever since I don't speak French or know anything about its literary traditions.)

What's funny is, though Le Morte d'Arthur is dull as poo poo and a loving sack of crap to try to read*, the Vulgate Cycle, just recently actually-translated into English by Dr. Lacy & crew (well, like 10 years ago or something, a short time relative to how long there wasn't a reliable English translation), is a whirlwind of melodrama and people making horrible, Romantic decisions. It's... how should I say it... endearingly soapy? On the other hand, though, it's also far, far, far, far, FAR more interesting, because even though they are crying and expressing a lot of feelings, like, all over the damned place, they actively make mistakes and exercise poor judgement (with consequences) and have individual characterization. Lancelot is so much more fun as a whiny baby teenager who is desperately naive and pining for MILF to suicidal extremes than this..., what, Super Purity Man? He's got a lot more flaws than repeatedly nailing King Arthur's wife.

As I said though, reads like such an awful fanfiction. There is an entire chapter detailing Lancelot's appearance in excruciating detail, down to how shapely his legs are and how curly his hair is. It would be insufferable if it weren't so funny and fascinating. It says a lot about how stories were told, and somehow are still told but not similarly respected?

_{*I didn't get all the way through, it's boring as gently caress and I still haven't read every good book ever written about Theodore Roosevelt so forget freakin' Malory's crap tunes.}

Anyway, it's hard to get your hands on, since it's huge with tiny print and no one sane wants to actually read the loving thing. But if you're in exactly the right masochistic pseudo-ironic mindset, you will blaze through every volume. Alternatively, you can buy Galehaut, Son of the Giantess, Lord of the Distant Isles (written by folk on the Lacy team) just to read about the super, super homosexual guy that Malory cut out, and even then they toned it down for the easy-reading version. It's kind of incredible he was almost entirely removed from Le Morte d'Arthur, though, because for a substantial section of the Vulgate Cycle (specifically Lancelot's portions), he is really god-damned important, and none of Lancelot's decisions make any sense without that character. Also, Guinevere is more fun in the Vulgate Cycle, she's a sympathetic yet cunning cougar who is really tickled that someone young and hot and super dashing is paying attention to her while her husband is being a goop scrub. (Who later throws her under the bus for a younger woman himself, so... )

Ask me about... teenagers crying about dumb stuff in old books? Or Loki wanting a necklace so drat bad, I mean really come on.

Pick has a new favorite as of 03:08 on Apr 30, 2015

# ? Apr 30, 2015 03:00

ghost host: Apr 17, 2010; ain't got no cash
ain't go no style

Tarrare (c. 1772 � 1798), sometimes spelled Tarare, was a French showman and soldier, noted for his unusual eating habits. Able to eat vast amounts of meat, he was constantly hungry; his parents could not provide for him, and he was turned out of the family home as a teenager. He travelled France in the company of a band of thieves and prostitutes, before becoming the warm-up act to a travelling charlatan; he would swallow corks, stones, live animals and a whole basket full of apples. He then took this act to Paris where he worked as a street performer.

On the outbreak of the War of the First Coalition Tarrare joined the French Revolutionary Army. With military rations unable to satisfy his large appetite, he would eat any available food from gutters and refuse heaps but his condition still deteriorated through hunger. Suffering from exhaustion, he was hospitalised and became the subject of a series of medical experiments to test his eating capacity, in which, among other things, he ate a meal intended for 15 people in a single sitting, ate live cats, snakes, lizards and puppies, and swallowed an eel whole without chewing. Despite his unusual diet, he was of normal size and appearance, and showed no signs of mental illness other than what was described as an apathetic temperament.

# ? Apr 30, 2015 03:14

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Pyramid Texts; The Contendings of Horus and Seth posted:

The Majesty of Horus said to his mother Isis �. Seth desires (?) to have intercourse with me. And she said, take care, do not approach him for that; When he mentions it to you again, say it is altogether too difficult for me, since you are too heavy for me; my strength will not be equal to yours, you shall say to him. Then, when he shall have given your strength, place your fingers between your buttocks. Lo, it will give� Lo, he will enjoy it exceedingly.

# ? Apr 30, 2015 05:27

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# ? May 19, 2024 02:57

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Another fun Arthurian fact: Malory's book was first titled, The hoole booke of kyng Arthur & of his noble knyghtes of the rounde table.

We make fun of them for putting superfluous e's everywhere but they loved it.

# ? Apr 30, 2015 06:16

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