Otaku Alpha Male posted:

I'm Yosposter neonbregna. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine.

Generic Monk posted:

im permabanned apple employee scott forstall. i first started working for apple when i was about 12. by 14 i got really obsessed with the concept of "skeumorphism" and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like "corinthian leather" and "stebe jobs" in my head for hours, and i would get really paranoid, start seeing apps in the corners of my eyes etc, basically prodromal schizophrenia. im now on antipsychotics. i always wondered what the kind of "skeumorphic" style of apple humor was all about; i think it's the unconscious leaking in to the conscious, what jungian theory considered to be the cause of schizophrenic and schizotypal syptoms. i would advise all people who "get" apple to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to a mental illness. peace.

Pinterest Mom posted:

You’re 16. You’re in yospos. You’re posting in the apple thread. You have a crush on another yosposter — you’ve fallen hard. You can’t stop thinking about them. You suspect the feelings are mutual — but you don’t know. You’re afraid to just come right out and ask, verbally — afraid of the crushing weight of rejection. But you both wear an Apple Watch. So you take a flyer and send a few taps. And you wait. Nothing in response. Dammit. Why are you so stupid? Whoa — a few taps are sent in return, along with a hand-drawn smiley face. You send more taps. You receive more taps back. This is it. You send your heartbeat. It is racing, thumping. Your crush sends their heartbeat back.

Smythe posted:

alright OP ive been steering clear of this loving wasteland of a thread but im gonna drop some pearls in here and no their not poo poo their not pearls no bitch theyre loving frozen god cum so get ready

first, the trick is 2 realize that as an adult nerd, ur the bomb. ur a nerd, right? but now, that ur old, u dont gonna be a wimp and u aint gotta be fat. u r born with ur engorged cranium and huge brain fulla loving ownage. now the loving loser shithead jocks, they aint got that. but you, bitch, you can get what they got

get loving buff as hell. ok. now u got a bigt rear end brain fulla loving BIG IDEAS and KNOLEDGE -> and now ur loving BIG BUFF GUY. U gottta get the pecs. u gotta get tyhe loving GLUTS. u gotta the loving ABS., BENCH PRESS UR COMPUTER CHAIR. DEAD LIFT UR SERVER RACK. LEG PRESS UR TOILET. Get loving IMMENSE. SO BIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Right.

Now, dress like a nerd. Get a shirt with a pocket. Put az POCKET POROTECTR. put pens, inside it- Nice. Get PANT. Tight ones. Show off those BUNS

O_O -------- 8-) (girl checkin ya out, w/ ya glasses)

Then, u c her. Take out that BIG FAT WALLET. Money is fuycking EVERYWHERe b/c w/ ur BIG BRAIN u got a BIG BANK. DANG!

Being this PIMP will give u MAD CONFIDENCE., u got the swaggar like shaggar. GEt out yo TOURUS and say YO, check it. -thats it dog. its done. thats all u gotta do.

gg

Smythe posted:

im an alphra male. im an computer engineer. i build system that keep the world running. every day after work programming and engineering on my drafting table, i hit the gym. first i do 30 mins of cardio, then i pump iron for 60 mins. little small son bros cant keep pace with me, im older, stronger, my muscles and long and lean. i shower off and put some new product in my hair. time to hit the town.

i roll out, swipe my hgih clearence badge at the base of the glass skyscraper and pablos already pullin my jag around. i drop a benji on the ground for him. thnx pablo, little human being.

pull up to super model hq to pick up my little oval office #3. take this slam bitch to the club. its an unmarked door in manhattan. i key in the code on the private secret app and it opens up for me. techno-bouncer, a nice little number i whipped up last year for puff daddy's private club. these small sons liscenced it, i gave em a discount so i get vip treatment- good thing, kuz im the fkin VIP in this town. Technocracy bitch.

walk past jobs, tupac, my nigga g. coleman - all my homeboiys chillin in what i like 2 cal America Next - where all the big pimps go to post once they get done postin with the proles. get some courvoisier brought to me and my tight little meat puppet. i slip her panties off right there in the club and she sits on my lap. yea, im fuckin her. she cums right away. easy. get the gently caress out of here bith. toss that hoe down the stairs. cya next week, maybe. dumb vapid slut.

roll home to my main dick rag, she got big rear end titties and works in finance. that bitch fuckin some little twink named carlos on the kitchen counter. get the gently caress out my way carlos. i take out my big rear end cock and carlos gets even harder. the bitch starts to leak like a milk carton gettin blasted with a 12 gauge. i put my cock on her stretched out pussy and turn on the stove. bitch better cum before her rear end gets too hot, haha. carlos starts licking my shaft while i pound her, fingering my perfectly bleached rear end in a top hat. she cums hard. i throw that oval office off the stove and finish myself with my perfectlyt manicured hands on to the stove. the smell of my Apex Cum cooking summons the rest of the sluts. they cant wait to get a taste of these pancakes.

PleasingFungus posted:

Squeezy Farm posted:

gas

Clockwerk posted:

waitin for the amazon e-book, 'smythe thoughts: an uncurated journey through this centuries most brilliant mind'