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it's the third tee. so far you are playing very pooly indeed. you're tired too. you've just had like half a dozen beers. you stop to consider "just many beers have I had?" two at the golf clubrooms and then you skulled an abandoned 3/4 full glass you saw on the way to the toilet and then you remember, poo poo, we did a couple of shots too and you remember taking a huge poo poo on the toilet. god it smelt bad. i should have flushed it. at the time it seemed funny not too, but it's gross. you remember that you think you should grow up but no time for thinking now. its your shot. you line up your clob...... you go to hit the ball and WHAT????  where the gently caress did this keyboard come from and you remember back to when you were youung and idolised keyboards.. thats a space cadet keyboard... HOLY FUCKIN poo poo! this is my lucky day you drop your gold club and squat down on your knees. you yank the board with both your hands. it reminds you of that time you pulled a stinky cheese grater from that malaria invested swamp in east timor. why am I getting all these flashbacks anyway, whats wrong with my brain what do you do now
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Jun 10, 2015 09:07
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 19:57 |
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> melt wizard
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Jun 10, 2015 10:01
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> gas What do you want to gas? > thread
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Jun 10, 2015 10:11
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> place keyboard in rear end in a top hat gently, but with commitment on face
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Jun 10, 2015 10:42
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go left
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Jun 10, 2015 10:53
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horse mans posted:go left you're mind is overwhelmed by the sensations of deep gratitude to the universe for thsi precious gift.. you cannot see straight.. you're starting to hallucinate. the ground is shifting, te grass is growing in front of your eyes. you're starting to see that all matter is simply a standing wave of a universal pattern, and you are beginning to see that pattern. you look down at the keyboard in your hand. its dripping dirt, and where it was buried you noticed dried blood. is this human blood? if only you had a microscope ad the correct reagents you would be able to tell. as all of this is happening you realise you're about to fall over.. you look to your left and fall.. you hit the ground and the corner of the keyboard jams into your rib cage. jesus christ, is this waht it feels like to go through labor? its entirely possible the sentations are similar your head is spinning. you look for the friends you came with, but they are not there.. who was I with again.. was it, hjang on... am I alone? why am I here on a tuesday the keyboard suddenly makes a sound.... click clack clack its as if its reading your mind. but it couldnt be.. could it?
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Jun 10, 2015 11:04
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> take keyboard apart > take remaining tabs of LSD hidden under numpad > use keyboard goop to re-create goldmined thread of same title
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Jun 10, 2015 11:33
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> puke and find water
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Jun 10, 2015 14:01
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you've still got that twin peaks sig. you never gave up. you vomit cause it feels good
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Jun 10, 2015 18:10
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> make love to teh keyboard
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Jun 10, 2015 19:41
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LP0 ON FIRE posted:> puke and find water uu uuuhh my head gently caress oooo my stomach as you start to open your eyes, memories of where you are and what you were doing start to flood back. but ugh... you are feeling very hungovere already.... uuuu you clse your eyes you open you eyes hang on, where am I??? last thing I remember was finding that keyboard on the golf course... but I'm an alleyway,.. where is they keyb,... oh there it is... but what, im not wearing pants.. oh jesus... there is a lotr of blood on my underwear and the bottom of my shirt... you reach down to feel your junk .... JESUS fuckkkkkk gently caress fukf cukkkk it feeels like its been shredded... what the gently caress??? ugh... youre starting to panic... what alleyway is this? i dont recognmise any of this part of down.. you look down at the keyboard for some reason and as your eyes transfix on the keys and they ebegin to glow... it becomes apparent to you that this keyboard has the ability to fix these problems... as you continue to fall into a trance the universe begins to become brighter... your head begins to feel better.... and you reach down to reasses the damage and your junk doesnt feel shredded anymore.. it feels larger.. like normal but engorged... what?// and as your spin around the alleyway , well, you realise you're not in an alleyway... your back on the golf course.... youre in some trees off the green and , why? whats happening? where did the alleyway come from. you look down at the keyboard and some of the keys are moving.. a repeating pattern... its moving too fast to tell if its trying to tell you a message....... WHAT THE gently caress IS GOING ON???? whwat with with the alleyway... and it occurs to you that perhaps you need to go plug this keyboard in, perhaps if it's trying to tell you a message you'll need to plug it in to a computer to be able to tell whats going on... what time is it anyway? the sun is overhead and you consider that during summer this is typical of a day.. its daytime. good.. good enough to run to the pro-shop and plug in th keybard you look around.. my belongnigs... did I bring anything with me? you were wearing jandals but you see that only one is on your foot and the other jandal is sticking out of the ground where the keyboard was  but why
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Jun 10, 2015 19:49
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jandals?
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Jun 10, 2015 21:12
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and I wondered to myself, why japanese sandals got shortened to jandals but japanese anteater didnt get shortened to jeater
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Jun 10, 2015 21:17
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remember if you don't hit it past the ladies tee you have to take your dick out to prove that you are a man, its in the official golf rules
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Jun 10, 2015 21:27
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echinopsis posted:and I wondered to myself, why japanese sandals got shortened to jandals but japanese anteater didnt get shortened to jeater it's "janteater." you can't just remove a syllable like that.
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Jun 10, 2015 21:28
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and as I wondered why a short man with the tism appeared next to me and told me why. this keybaors is bringing some weird poo poo into ly life you thought
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Jun 10, 2015 21:37
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echinopsis posted:and I wondered to myself, why japanese sandals got shortened to jandals but japanese anteater didnt get shortened to jeater Those are Brazilian sandals.
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Jun 10, 2015 21:38
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whilst jolfing i
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Jun 11, 2015 00:18
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Dr. Honked posted:whilst jolfing i 
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Jun 11, 2015 00:19
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echinopsis posted:it's the third tee. so far you are playing very pooly indeed. atomicthumbs fucked around with this message at 03:54 on Jun 11, 2015 |
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Jun 11, 2015 03:52
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 19:57 |
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i would never leave a poo poo unflushed. i am not worthy enough to let such foulness remain above water
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Jun 11, 2015 05:27
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