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A little bit about me: I left the USMC back in 2012 after five years honorably (never saw combat). In the months that following, I fell into massive depression. I felt like my life was over, that there was nothing left to do. It was the same feeling as beating every level and every boss, and asking yourself, "Well, now what?". I was 25 then, and having what I believe would be a mid life crisis. Around 6 months after being out of the Corps, I started MMJ, which turned my life around. I was happy, talkative, enjoyed being out, and enjoyed life. I also kept up on my physical conditioning, as that is a huge part of who I am. I also started Muay Thai back then, and trained until 2014. Well, I stopped MMJ early last year, and felt great for a while. I also stopped Muay Thai due to light concussions, and decided it was not worth the money and brain damage. Near the end of 2014, I met a girl, who I thought I loved. Through out the year, I started falling back into depression (I believe due to being in a relationship). I started sleeping in late (until 2pm), and slacked a lot on my diet and exercise, which I believe has contributed to my depression. My girlfriend is older than me, and cannot exercise anywhere near the level or consistency that I can and I desire. Also she does not share the same ideas about fitness and diet. Since I met her, she has gained a good amount of weight, and I lost attraction to her. We have had multiple fights, and the most recent was this morning, which may have sealed the deal in ending our relationship. She stormed out saying gently caress you gently caress you. Disregarding the facts about my gf/ex, throughout the year I felt this feeling of nothingness. What I mean by nothingness is, nothing seems interesting or worth my time. Everything seems bland. I cannot even fathom the idea of starting a new hobby or anything because their is zero desired involved. I still exercise and workout, which I will be doing a lot more of, going back to my strict life style (when I was happy.) I have a bunch of errands I need to do, people to email and talk to, but I just don't because I feel zero motivation or need to do it. Completely apathetic. I have been living at my fathers house with his family since i left the Corps. I have been alienated, as my dad has borderline aspergers and speaks to me once a month, for about one sentence. And his wife and children do not talk to me either. Upon reading the symptoms of aspergers, I do exhibit a fair amount myself. Thankfully, I am leaving in September to attend UC Davis, where I have my own studio. Now that you know some of my background, how do I deal with these feelings? I am fairly confident once I get back on a strict diet and exercise routine, I will become happier (as I have body image issues; use to be fat in highschool, and fear becoming that again.) Should I consult a doctor or therapist? Should I trying MMJ again? Once I'm back in school I'll probably be so busy I won't have the energy to be depressed as I will be engaged all day and night. I am also going to start living my life super regimented again, as I find solace in that lifestyle. I will start a detailed calender and log book, for my errands and everything I need to do in life, for every day and every month. I appreciate your time and advice. mad_Thick fucked around with this message at 03:50 on Jul 29, 2015 |
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Jul 29, 2015 03:48
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1) See a therapist. 2) There's a book called 'The Noonday Demon' by Andrew Solomon. It's basically a really personal look at one person's dealings with his own depression, which is also explored through interviews with others who are depressed and so on. It might be enlightening. I know that when I was first dealing with depression becoming educated about it helped me feel better. It also doesn't hurt that the fact that the title contains 'demon' and the book itself is written by 'Solomon' ticklers the 12-year old part of my brain.
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Jul 29, 2015 04:39
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1.) You should probably go see a therapist. 2.) It sounds like you're trying to keep in shape. That's a good thing. Try to set up a schedule with a gym buddy. You will probably try to come up with an excuse for yourself not to do anything, but if someone else is depending on you, you probably won't flake out. At least that's my personal experience.
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Jul 29, 2015 06:50
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I've had depression since I was about 7, finally diagnosed at 16, been on 3 different medications which all helped to varying degrees. I am 35 now and really only in the past few years have gotten used to dealing with it efficiently. As I'm sure you know, life difficulties are not a cause (I've felt in complete despair many times when nothing at all was wrong), but they can definitely be a trigger. The more things you are going through that are tough, the more likely you are to have a depressive episode. This is the best advice I can give to help manage it: -Therapy: the #1 thing that made the biggest impact for me was cognitive behavioral therapy. There is a great book called Mind Over Mood that I used in conjunction with my therapist. -Medication if applicable; you may have to try a few to find the one that works best for you. Most have side effects that can range from mild to really annoying (weight gain, nightmares, sexual problems) which could cause more depression, so it's up to you. -Animal exposure: if you have a pet or know someone with a pet, several studies have proven that interacting with animals can decrease anxiety. -meditation: deep relaxation and breathing exercises really helped take the edge off some negative feelings for me. -eating well, enough sleep and exercise: if your body is running on fumes and garbage you're not going to feel as well physically which will lead to depressed feelings. Some people will tell you you need to get out with friends and be social, but this is really only good advice if you're lonely Or naturally social. If you're an introvert this can make it worse! I find for me, withdrawing for awhile is what I need to help me recover.
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Jul 29, 2015 07:43
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I am well versed in Depression. I have suffered Bipolar since I was 18 (I don't understand why it started at that age) and I would go through 2~3 massive periods of depression a year. When it has come to therapy I feel like it hasn't worked for me. I've had 3 therapists, 2 doctors and a psychiatrist and only 1 therapist and the psychiatrist has worked for me. The therapist would talk to me of things I liked and the psychiatrist is a wonderful man who basically just lets me ask questions and engages me in interesting subjects. Medication has been the part that has helped me the most. When I was just on an antidepressant I did not slip back into depression, with Lithium on top for the mania I went back into depression for 3 weeks. For the most part the drugs have had no side effects, although a few times I have felt like a zombie on some medication. You ask how you should deal with the feelings, but I don't think there is a nice easy answer to that one. It just all around sucks and what you say about nothing just screams to me of how I felt at my lowest. Now that you're talking to us, I really feel you should talk to others. Doctor, therapist, priest, support group, etc. They can help far more than we can.
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Jul 29, 2015 12:52
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The idle mind is the Devil's workshop, OP. On downtime, go read a book and make a collection of them. They're also great conversation starters when meeting new people. Also, don't kill yourself.
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Jul 29, 2015 19:35
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What is MMJ? Find your own place to stay if at all possible. Do you drink or smoke weed to cope? This is important, so be truthful about the extent.
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Aug 18, 2015 17:07
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Should you end up seeing a doctor, keep an eye on yourself with the meds. Better yet have someone else keep an eye on you. It isn't common but SSRIs can mess with your head in some odd ways and affect your behavior in ways you won't be able to recognize yourself. If your doc wants to do benzos or sleeping pills make sure you keep that short term. The last thing you want right now is an addiction to deal with. You've got a studio, are you sure you'll be ok on your own? How long would you be able to disappear for before somebody noticed?
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Aug 19, 2015 05:18
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Tias posted:What is MMJ? MMJ stands for Medical Marijuana.
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Aug 19, 2015 12:44
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HUGE SPACEKABLOOIE posted:Should you end up seeing a doctor, keep an eye on yourself with the meds. Better yet have someone else keep an eye on you. It isn't common but SSRIs can mess with your head in some odd ways and affect your behavior in ways you won't be able to recognize yourself. If your doc wants to do benzos or sleeping pills make sure you keep that short term. The last thing you want right now is an addiction to deal with. As someone now addicted to prescribed benzos and incredibly hosed up in the head (The one on my shoulders and the one in my pants. Sexual side effects, yo) from Cymbalta, a very potent but popular SSRI I agree. You probably need something, but unless you're as depressed as I am, keep away from the stuff. Try Lorazepam as it's the least side effect riddled that I've tried as far as antidepressants go. But if you do need to get on Ativan and an SSRI, do it. It's worth it to be able to cope and not go through suicide attempts. I admit I'm jealous that MMJ helps you. It only intensifies my paranoia and anxiety to the point that I can't touch the stuff. It would be nice to have something not over the top addictive to calm down with. Edit: But really, read up on the side effects before starting an antidepressant. The things do incredibly unpredictable things to you depending on the person and can really change how you think, so be warned. Again though; better than true major depression. Vagon fucked around with this message at 14:16 on Aug 19, 2015 |
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Aug 19, 2015 14:14
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I LIKE COOKIE posted:MMJ stands for Medical Marijuana. Oh. In that case, don't loving get back on it! Cannabis is a potent anti-psychotic in the short term, but has no proven effect on psychiatric illnesses, and seems to worsen them in a lot of cases. Regular anti-depressants could do good in this case, but consider seeing a doctor first.
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Aug 19, 2015 14:44
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Tias posted:but has no proven effect on psychiatric illnesses, and seems to worsen them in a lot of cases While I've not heard about that, I don't doubt it. My god it makes me bad.
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Aug 19, 2015 16:33
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Obviously, find a therapist you trust and folllw his advice, but I would try diet, exercise, CBT and meditation first and foremost. It seems like many doctors just want to throw everyone right onto the pharmaceutical carousel, and I would save that as a last result
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Aug 19, 2015 20:28
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Vagon posted:As someone now addicted to prescribed benzos and incredibly hosed up in the head (The one on my shoulders and the one in my pants. Sexual side effects, yo) from Cymbalta, a very potent but popular SSRI I agree. You probably need something, but unless you're as depressed as I am, keep away from the stuff. Try Lorazepam as it's the least side effect riddled that I've tried as far as antidepressants go. But if you do need to get on Ativan and an SSRI, do it. It's worth it to be able to cope and not go through suicide attempts. I'd also tack on that if a doctor offers you Klonopin/Clonazapam then turn it down. Over doing it on xanax might cause you to lose a night but kpins can make you lose days at a time if you aren't very careful.
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Aug 20, 2015 02:49
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Tias posted:Oh. In that case, don't loving get back on it! Cannabis is a potent anti-psychotic in the short term, but has no proven effect on psychiatric illnesses, and seems to worsen them in a lot of cases. Regular anti-depressants could do good in this case, but consider seeing a doctor first. This post goes pretty hard against science, there are actually strands of medical marijuana that are super low THC and high CBD that you won't likely find on the streets, designed to just physically relax a person and relieve stress not unlike that from PTSD or anxiety disorder, that doesn't really have much of any major impact on your mind, except for enjoying the first part. Also "regular" anti-depressants are proven to routinely and predictably cause weight gain, something a marine is going to be really bothered by, lethargy which he already has, and your dick stops working or is at least less efficient, and these are just the regular almost everybody runs into it symptoms, I'm not even getting into what happens after 10 years or if you try to stop buying and taking the mind altering drugs. It's hard to judge anyone by a paragraph but I think the OP sounds like they're in a much better place with more capability than most people who actually "need" anti-depressants. I would say continue to try to keep fit and active, use small amounts of the medical pot and ask if you can get the kind I mentioned if that makes you happier, and as far as going beyond that for new methods goes: consider a new hobby or craft, maybe even mindfulness meditation or CBT (a type of therapy) if you need further help. Good luck man. My life seemed bad enough when I was younger to try the benzos (xanax) and the anti-depressants (a half dozen different types by now) that the doctor ordered, and my strongest feeling to come out of all of it is that every check up and pill was an addictive waste of money, my life is now worse than it was then, and I feel more relief from a day of fishing or hiking than I do an unlimited dosage of xanax and anti-depressants.
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Aug 20, 2015 04:00
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Suggestions for OP: Be patient. Accept that genuine improvement takes a long time. Don't give up. Recognize that slipping up does not mean failure, and setbacks are part of the journey. Ask for and accept help! Professional help, but also help from family and friends. I think these things are super important, because we don't have a good way to predict what will help each individual, or a good system to match people with medical & psych support. It is hard to find medication that works for you, it often involves difficult side effects, and it often takes several tries. It is hard to find a good personal fit with a therapist or other professional support, and I have encountered some real flakes. It is incredibly lovely to push through feelings of depression and continue to try to find resources. That said, it is absolutely worthwhile! The right support professional can help you learn new strategies to improve your well-being. The right medication can help you get through the bad spots, and give you some breathing space to learn new skills. And of course, as others have said, forcing yourself to get out & be active, sleep well, and eat well, will all help! Good luck, I hope you find the help you need to get back on track!
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Aug 20, 2015 04:17
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extra stout posted:This post goes pretty hard against science, there are actually strands of medical marijuana that are super low THC and high CBD that you won't likely find on the streets, designed to just physically relax a person and relieve stress not unlike that from PTSD or anxiety disorder, that doesn't really have much of any major impact on your mind, except for enjoying the first part. Are you sure you're not conflating your own opinions about weed in general with the perceived help MMJ offers? Also, impotence and weight gain is not something "almost everybody runs into" with antidepressants, and it only happens regularly with really high doses - and that's before considering that there are different groups of anti-depressants. Anyway, I am not going to argue this further, as this is not what this thread is about. I will, however, second your advice on exercise, CBT and mindfulness meditation. They are like the holy loving grail of getting better from depression!
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Aug 20, 2015 06:48
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