Claw Machine

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fuck. marry. t-rex

google THIS posted:

claw machine stares into the distance, remembering his disastrous stint in the navy doing air-sea rescue

# ? Aug 19, 2015 19:16

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# ? May 8, 2024 06:57

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

extremely few people will ascend during the rapture, as god uses a claw machine. god doesn't play dice with the world, that's what the claw machine is for

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# ? Aug 19, 2015 22:18

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

a solitary person pulls the van with the huge homemade antenna in the roof to the edge of the cliff. they look out at the desert. then up at the stars for a long while. the second-hand ufo catcher in the back awaits. tonight is the night.

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# ? Aug 19, 2015 22:26

google THIS

princess leia: the more you tighten your grip, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.

(grand moff claw machine runs out of the room, sobbing)

# ? Aug 19, 2015 22:28

dogcrash truther

Qwerinty posted:

extremely few people will ascend during the rapture, as god uses a claw machine. god doesn't play dice with the world, that's what the claw machine is for

# ? Aug 19, 2015 23:55

dogcrash truther

jesus: be a fisher of men
me, at the man-containing claw machine: easy for you to say

# ? Aug 19, 2015 23:56

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

a kid plays the claw machine, fails, shrugs and walks away. out of the shadows, a man steps out, his head is a crow's head. "hey, kid, not so fast. check this out" he says and plunks down a quarter into the machine, easily snagging a pikachu. "it's easy, and fun, and it's only a quarter" the kid struggles with addiction their entire life from that point forward

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# ? Aug 20, 2015 00:09

City of Glompton

many fantasize about winning two prizes at once, but I can tell you, I've done it, and it's more work than pleasure

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Aug 20, 2015 00:56

google THIS

pro tip: the more nonsensical the prize the easier it is to win. I once won a furry orange banana on the first attempt. talk about dad cred.

# ? Aug 20, 2015 01:56

Bwee

George Bush frantically trying to pick up a pile of paper labeled "facts" with a claw machine

# ? Aug 20, 2015 02:01

alnilam

Quite brilliant, don't you think, Mr. Bond? The claw is calibrated to drop the prize about 90% of the time. That's how i made my millions, you see, and that's how i financed the missiles that should be launching in about *checks watch* five minutes. Say goodbye to your little country, Mr. Bond, and to the financial system that holds up the rest. The antidote is in that claw machine over there, but do be careful - there's only one! I will be making my escape now; you may save the girl at your leisure. Good day! *machine readout says it has 007 plays left in it*

_{ty manifisto}