|
|
Oh man, we got a live one!!! |
#
?
Oct 2, 2015 23:03
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 13, 2024 05:56 |
|
|
|
Recent orders by Doctor [Redacted]: Car battery Big wires Fog machine
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2015 23:03
|
|
|
|
good movie
---------------- |
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2015 23:04
|
|
|
|
[To the corpse] He who smelt it dealt it.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2015 23:04
|
|
|
|
How's it going man, how's it going woman, how's it going [eyes get really big, crazy music plays] ALIEN CORPSE
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2015 23:08
|
|
|
|
swallows a joy buzzer whole
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2015 23:08
|
|
|
|
Hey Jerry! Look at this dumbass, he fell on a shampoo bottle in the shower! That's a weird cause of death. He was actually shot, several times. It looks execution style, I think this might be related to that big court case going on, he was a witness. Tom why is there a shampoo bottle in his rear end? Look I just wanted to make a joke ok? Maybe I went a little far.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2015 23:12
|
|
|
|
It wasn't funny the first 68 times and it's not funny now Tom.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2015 23:13
|
|
|
Cause of death: Unknown. Doctor makes the incision; Spring loaded toy snakes. ---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2015 23:16
|
|
|
|
Tom I'm reporting you this time. [Tom looks surprised, and puts down the glowsticks] No man, join us!! Tom you're listening to house music with a bunch of dead people. It's a rave!! Hell yeah Jerry!
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2015 23:18
|
|
|
|
it's funny to pretend you're dead then sue them for assault when they start cutting you open
---------------- |
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2015 23:18
|
|
|
|
smoobles posted:it's funny to pretend you're dead then sue them for assault when they start cutting you open This is extremely rude and a huge faux pas in autopsy circles.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2015 23:20
|
|
|
|
Miss Psychosis posted:This is extremely rude and a huge faux pas in autopsy circles. sorry i can't hear you under this pile of coroner settlement cash 
---------------- |
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2015 23:22
|
|
|
Doctor gives a med student a shot that gives him a permanent allergy to corpses just before his big exam.
---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2015 23:23
|
|
|
|
Weekend Bridges posted:Doctor gives a med student a shot that gives him a permanent allergy to corpses just before his big exam. This famous med student has never killed a patient! He's a doctor now!
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2015 23:26
|
|
|
|
NOTICE OF COMPLAINT COMPLAINANT: Coroner's Office FILED AGAINST: Dr. Psychosis COMPLAINT: Listing "your mom" as the cause of death on sixteen (16) unrelated cases (see attached docket) in which the coroner's mother was not involved. DISCIPLINARY ACTION TAKEN: Dr. Psychosis has been suspended (with pay) pending review of twenty three (23) additional complaints.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2015 23:28
|
|
|
|
NOTICE OF COMPLAINT COMPLAINANT: Dr. Psychosis FILED AGAINST: Lil Cunty COMPLAINT: She's been a bad, bad girl. DISCIPLINARY ACTION TAKEN: Wouldn't you like to know.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2015 23:30
|
|
|
|
Weekend Bridges posted:Cause of death: Unknown. |
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2015 23:57
|
|
|
|
FROM: Human Resources TO: Dr. Psychosis RE: Best Practices for Autopsy/Morgue Dr. Psychosis, please review the attached best practices and procedures for filling out autopsy paperwork. Please note that "Jane Doe" is the accepted identifier for unidentified female corpes. "Lil Cunty" is not a standard identifier for female corpses, and does not reflect the sensitivity and professionalism this hospital strives to provide at all times. Thank you for your immediate cooperation.
|
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2015 00:07
|
|
|
|
[Post it note stuck on the administrators door] Please stop cramping my groove.
|
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2015 00:09
|
|
|
|
BONESAW IS READY |
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2015 01:14
|
|
|
|
GEExCEE posted:BONESAW IS READY
|
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2015 01:39
|
|
|
|
GEExCEE posted:BONESAW IS READY
|
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2015 01:47
|
|
|
|
*recites hippocratic oath while revving up a chainsaw*
|
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2015 01:48
|
|
|
|
coroner: subject's mouth is extremely difficult to open, rigor mortis may be further along than we had previously thought. (coroner's assistant snickers) coroner: what... all of the subject's teeth have been removed, possibly by the murderer. there's a strong, foul odor coming from the oral cavity also. either the subject had very poor hygiene or... assistant: (giggling) it's his butt! ha ha ha! that's his butt! coroner: drat it, you know I lost my glasses! |
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2015 02:31
|
|
|
|
hey look a dead body! hey look a dead body! hey look a dead body! hey look a de
|
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2015 03:26
|
|
|
i'm making the incision now *slices open body, peels back skin and inside is.. the same body* uhhhhhhhh
---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2015 03:36
|
|
|
|
"Alright we gotta carefully remove the" *makes loud buzzing noise* "Come on dude stop it" "Ahaha ok ok ok Im gonna remove the leg bone now just gotta m" *makes loud buzzing noise* "Dude stop you're freaking me out" "Ahahahaha ok sorry I know this isn't really operation but lets get this water off his knee ok" "what" "Hes got water on the knee hahahahaha ok ok ok im gonna actually remove this now just gotta" *makes loud buzzing noise* "gently caress!!!!!"
|
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2015 04:38
|
|
|
|
alright *snaps glove* lets get started. catherine, the stick please.
https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png |
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2015 05:25
|
|
Lil Cunty posted:FROM: Human Resources ---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2015 05:56
|
|
|
|
google THIS posted:coroner: subject's mouth is extremely difficult to open, rigor mortis may be further along than we had previously thought. |
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2015 06:54
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 13, 2024 05:56 |
|
|
[Two coroners stand over a corpse laying face down on a gurney in an autopsy room] Coroner 1: Do anything exciting this weekend? Coroner 2: Nah, Sally and the kids went up to visit their grandmother and I stayed home and WHAT THE poo poo MAN... Coroner 1: Is that a... Coroner 2: Yep. It's a dozen roses. Stuffed up this poor soul's rear end! Voice off camera: Read the card! Coroner 1 and 2 simultaneously: Smile! You're on Candid Coroner! https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2015 16:29
|
|
