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I'll start. Today a girl came over to hang out and watch netflix and probably fool around. We were chilling on the couch spooning for a couple episodes and I had to pee, so I got up and popped into the bathroom real quick and started draining the main vein (my penis). I must have stood up too fast or something because I started to feel light headed and was getting tunnel vision and poo poo while I was pissing and I was nowhere near done. I tried to hold out but I could hear the blood pumping in my ears and the tunnel was getting smaller and I was pretty sure I was about to pass out. So as a last ditch effort, I cut off the flow and whipped my pants down so I could turn around and sit on the toilet. I think I waited too long though because the last bit of focus I had left was used to stop my pee stream (which is hard to stop in the best of times), and then when I shifted focus to pulling pants down and turning around and sitting, I peed all over my pants and underwear and legs and maybe even my butt I don't know I was barely conscious. Once I was sitting my head cleared up and I finished pissing in the proper piss receptacle and had to surmise the damage. I figured anything I did (like taking a shower and changing) was probably going to arouse suspicion, so I just pulled up my tinkled on trousers and figured I'd just play it cool! It was mostly in my underoos anyways, so I figured she'd be mostly shielded. I went back out all super nonchalant and sat down and we resumed watching netflix. She wanted to get comfier and put her head in my lap. My pisslap. I didn't say anything, and just hoped their was no scent. I wasn't too worried because I was pounding beers and my pee was pretty clear. I don't think she did cause I felt her up a bit and then she went home. Your turn!
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Oct 8, 2015 04:27
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| # ? May 26, 2024 10:35 |
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Why in the gently caress did you think it was alright to talk about when I came over today?
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Oct 8, 2015 04:28
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I pissed on a girls carpet once, because I fell asleep on it
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Oct 8, 2015 04:28
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The Fattest PI posted:I'll start. gbs is full of the most pathetic retards on the weekdays
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Oct 8, 2015 04:30
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Mumpy Puffinz posted:gbs is full of the most pathetic retards on the weekdays Your reg date is my birthday this is some kind of fate
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Oct 8, 2015 04:44
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im about to masturbate
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Oct 8, 2015 04:46
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The Fattest PI posted:Your reg date is my birthday this is some kind of fate I joined on your 19th, 20th birthday
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Oct 8, 2015 04:47
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The Fattest PI posted:Your reg date is my birthday this is some kind of fate so yoir 7 years old? that would explain the peepe
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Oct 8, 2015 04:47
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So drunk you pissed, she put her head in your lap and you still didn't seal the deal
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Oct 8, 2015 04:49
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THE DOG HOUSE posted:im about to masturbate im currently masturbating
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Oct 8, 2015 04:49
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how do you stand up too fast when you're already standing
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Oct 8, 2015 04:50
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I did it once but only because a girl said she was into it and let me pee a little in her mouth too (which was very arousing for)
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Oct 8, 2015 04:54
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^me, I left that out after "for," it was very arousing for me
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Oct 8, 2015 04:56
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hosed up if true
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Oct 8, 2015 05:03
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lonesomedwarf posted:im currently masturbating I wish I could be currently masturbating 
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Oct 8, 2015 05:22
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no I"m in my thirties now like most somethingawful.com goons why is nobody else posting their pee stories, I can barely get hard here
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Oct 8, 2015 05:28
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The Fattest PI posted:no I"m in my thirties now like most somethingawful.com goons youre in your 30s and you fondled a lady but still didnt get.laid after peeing yourself
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Oct 8, 2015 05:37
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you could have just taken off all your clothes
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Oct 8, 2015 05:44
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king salmon posted:you could have just taken off all your clothes av post combo
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Oct 8, 2015 05:47
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king salmon posted:you could have just taken off all your clothes Yeah OP, probably shoulda busted out of the bathroom naked like a piss covered Frankenstein. Would have basically been cutting your losses at that point
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Oct 8, 2015 05:56
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i havent had sex in my thirtied yet, i hope to have sex again one day, maybe this yeat. i am being nice and smiling to ladies but no luck yet ull make a thread when i doi t
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Oct 8, 2015 07:33
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Sounds like you have a brain tumor, goondolences
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Oct 8, 2015 07:35
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i only piss myself when i go full-on lazy about doing laundry and wear a pair of shorts instead of underwear then when i go to the urinal i let the dong out over the waistband but either the pressure from the band on the underside of the wang or the upward angle at the base sneakily leaves some piss still in the dick and when i think im done and tuck my wang back into my pants it lets loose some piss down my leg it got me and then i forgot and it got me again now i remember so on those laundry days i go with pants pulled all the way down to my ankles when i use a urinal
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Oct 8, 2015 07:52
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To be honest I don't think I've ever done that, kind of weird really.
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Oct 8, 2015 08:00
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PEPSI for TV-GAME
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Enfield posted:youre in your 30s and you fondled a lady but still didnt get.laid after peeing yourself I didn't want to lead her on
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Oct 10, 2015 00:48
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Pissed in some chicks bed once, some girl I met at a club and she took me back to her place, I'd been doing lines and drinking heavily that day so after we finally made it to her bedroom neither one of us had a condom so I just went down on her and then passed out. I remember dreaming I went to piss in her bathroom, I woke up before she did and the bed was soaked, my boxers were soaked too. I just got up took them off got dressed called a cab and went back to my place. I did run into her again she never said anything about it. Maybe I just blew a huge load while I was passed out because I know I didn't cum naw, I probably pissed.
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Oct 12, 2015 00:17
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Ultimo Hombre posted:Pissed in some chicks bed once, some girl I met at a club and she took me back to her place, I'd been doing lines and drinking heavily that day so after we finally made it to her bedroom neither one of us had a condom so I just went down on her and then passed out. I remember dreaming I went to piss in her bathroom, I woke up before she did and the bed was soaked, my boxers were soaked too. I just got up took them off got dressed called a cab and went back to my place. I did run into her again she never said anything about it. Maybe I just blew a huge load while I was passed out because I know I didn't cum naw, I probably pissed. What if SHE pissed?
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Oct 12, 2015 00:20
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Mumpy Puffinz posted:gbs is full of the most pathetic retards on the weekdays story in the op made me chuckle I am sorry you're such a sad individual though I'm not perfect either. I think you need a hug. ----------------
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Oct 12, 2015 01:09
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im using the bathroom right now (#2)
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Oct 12, 2015 01:15
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in college I went to a friend's birthday party and got absolutely shitfaced. took my gf back to dorm room and I passed out as soon as I hit the bed. she crawled in next to me. several hours later, my gf wakes up and I'm no longer in bed. instead, I am standing in the corner of my room lit only by the light coming from my open refrigerator. gf gets out of bed to see what's going on. I am peeing into the fridge. "Hey! Whoa! Hey! Stop! What are you doing??" I then somehow stop peeing into the fridge. turn to her as if I know exactly what I am doing. put my finger up. and tell her: "One sec." I turn back and continue peeing. then I finish up and return to bed as if nothing was amiss. this is all secondhand since I don't remember any of this. can confirm it happened because there was definitely pee in that fridge in the morning. ---------------- BrawndoTQ fucked around with this message at 01:19 on Oct 12, 2015 |
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Oct 12, 2015 01:16
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dad gay. so what posted:im using the bathroom right now (#2) ha me too. you closed your thread before I could post in it, but I was totally going to call you out as being a lowtax parachute. fyi.
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Oct 12, 2015 01:17
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Mumpy Puffinz posted:gbs is full of the most pathetic retards on the weekdays brizna posted:in college I went to a friend's birthday party and got absolutely shitfaced. took my gf back to dorm room and I passed out as soon as I hit the bed. she crawled in next to me.
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Oct 12, 2015 01:17
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you've forced my hand. 
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Oct 12, 2015 01:20
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This is gross
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Oct 12, 2015 01:50
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brizna posted:you've forced my hand. 
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Oct 12, 2015 01:53
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Kept my spaghetti in my pocket though
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Oct 12, 2015 01:54
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Sounds like a vasovagal pass out. Pissing, making GBS threads, getting up fast, or laughing can do that, if you have a troublesome vagus nerve. Might be something to look into if you wake up in the bathroom again.
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Oct 12, 2015 01:54
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ghetto wormhole posted:What if SHE pissed? Possible, or maybe I just made her so wet she soaked the bed.
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Oct 12, 2015 02:11
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Flubby posted:Sounds like a vasovagal pass out. Pissing, making GBS threads, getting up fast, or laughing can do that, if you have a troublesome vagus nerve. Might be something to look into if you wake up in the bathroom again. This doesn't check out op. I googled his dr words. Just cut off ur balls.
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Oct 12, 2015 02:15
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