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lizardman posted:Congrats, Ausmund, you have a favorite TV show. Most people do! Yeah, I can come to terms with it intellectually just fine, I just can't make any emotional connection when someone else is happy. In fact, it makes me depressed and suicidal to see someone else happy and successful. But I keep all that inside. And I guess what I say about myself comes across as judgmental and negative, but it doesn't make it any less true. I'm in therapy trying to change myself for that reason. Also what do you guys know about fear of failure? My therapist was telling me about active failure vs. passive failure. Like life is lovely enough for me I can't handle actively trying really hard at something and failing anyway, it's just too much for me and I don't know how to cope. So what I subconsciously is passive failure, where I procrastinate, get angry, make excuses, or just outright not give a gently caress and let it fail on its own. Because that kind of failure feels different. I'm in this situation right now with my medication. When I went to get my lexapro a couple of weeks ago my insurance didn't work for some reason and I had to pay $120 out of pocket for it. I panicked and bought it anyway because I was afraid of the withdrawls and rebound. The following weeks I procrastinated and I never got around to fixing my insurance or finding out it was taken away or if I got hosed over and owe a shitload of money or I didn't renew my plan right or whatever the deal is and now have run out of my wellbutrin and adderall. So now I am off everything and can barely keep my eyes open. I come home from work and sleep right through until I need to get up in the morning. All this because of procrastination. And now I'm less motivated than ever to do anything. I haven't been grocery shopping, I've just been drinking mostly milk for meals. Just gently caress everything. This is why I flunked out of college, I can't handle anything and get devastated by failure. And sometimes thinking about how I can't deal with the situation, how it's such a futile struggle over something so simple, I'd rather end my life than have to deal with it. If I can't handle something basic like this, how am I going to handle any other life issues that come up? Watch the Sean Scott movie American Loser if you want to know what I'm talking about. Why shouldn't the protagonist of that movie kill himself? Sorry if this is inappropriate for a/t.
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Jan 28, 2016 01:57
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Ausmund posted:Sorry, I'm not ignoring the thread, I just haven't had anything to say. One of the side effects of good anti-depressants is an increased risk of suicide. It sounds a bit counter intuitive, but once you're on the good anti-depressants, you stop wanting to sleep in, and try get up off your rear end to do something. The unfortunate side effect is that a lot people suffering from depression don't have a whole of plans beyond suicide, so the fact that you're actively considering suicide is kind of a sign that the drugs are working. It's a horrible Catch-22. (There have been many times when I've contemplated blowing my brains out, but there's a lot of paperwork involved to get a gun, and I'd really not bother.) If you're at the point where you can talk to a shrink about rebuilding your life, then you're actually in a good place, you just don't quite realize it yet. If you're really all that concerned about the cost of your meds, talk to the ladies in your shrinks office, they can help with the billing. I don't know if you've noticed it, but your writing has become slightly less 'woe is me', and has become more focused on practical things. That's a slightly hopeful sign. thrakkorzog fucked around with this message at 06:13 on Jan 30, 2016 |
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Jan 29, 2016 18:02
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I'm a somewhat isolated, very introverted person as well, and I can relate to a lot of what you've described, only I think my withdrawal from social interaction has more to do with avoidance and anxiety on my part. And the depression and low self-esteem stuff, holy poo poo, you and I are on similar wavelengths op. How do you dress? Does your style not really conform with what you observe on those around you? Do you experience pleasure from recreational drugs? And really, what I was most curious about, is what about animals? I have found it sometimes easier for me to "bond" with and become emotionally invested in the well-being of my pets rather than other people. Recently, we had to put one of my dogs down and I am still distraught, but animals add so much meaning to my life that I can honestly say I am happier to have known him and lost him then to have never known him at all. Do you find that at all relevant to the way you experience the world? Hope that by now it is obvious that the way you answer any of these "do you feel X when Y?" Questions is in no way an endightement of you as a person. As far as I'm concerned you have AT LEAST as much right to be walking around on this Earth breathing oxygen as these Donald Trump-voting motherfuckers I'm surrounded by. Far more so than Idi Amin or Slobodan Milosivec or Kony 2012 or Ted Bundy. Keep fighting the good fight, my friend.
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Feb 20, 2016 06:30
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The Scientist posted:
quote:Do you experience pleasure from recreational drugs? quote:And really, what I was most curious about, is what about animals? I have found it sometimes easier for me to "bond" with and become emotionally invested in the well-being of my pets rather than other people. Recently, we had to put one of my dogs down and I am still distraught, but animals add so much meaning to my life that I can honestly say I am happier to have known him and lost him then to have never known him at all. Do you find that at all relevant to the way you experience the world? quote:Hope that by now it is obvious that the way you answer any of these "do you feel X when Y?" Questions is in no way an endightement of you as a person. As far as I'm concerned you have AT LEAST as much right to be walking around on this Earth breathing oxygen as these Donald Trump-voting motherfuckers I'm surrounded by. Far more so than Idi Amin or Slobodan Milosivec or Kony 2012 or Ted Bundy.
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Feb 21, 2016 14:22
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I've always thought I was schizoid myself on some level. 95% of the friends I've made in my life were from people approaching me and engaging me to hang out, and mistaking my apathy/indifference for "wow he's a really good listener", something I just believed too and embraced because I was a teenager and didn't know any different. Really I'm just clueless about stuff, like I didn't realize they needed input from me. Even if I had little to none. People would just default on "oh he agrees with me/approves of what I've said" because I would just stare and listen. Most of the girls I've dated I've worked with, because I had no other way of meeting females. Oddly enough I'm in love now and have been with my girl for 6 years, so that's pretty cool/lucky. Love will teach you a lot if you ever get to feel it for real. OP, do you notice your emotions get worse the more time you spend alone? I started having a real hard time in my early 20's, and my mantra became "isolation breeds hatred". I had to remember to force myself to reach out to people in some way or else negative emotions would blossom and I'd get really hateful and angry for no reason at everyone I knew. Last thing, I would encourage you to take up a martial art of some kind. It is very good for you it many different ways. Human social contact is essential for health, as well as physical human contact. Martial arts will stimulate you physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually(if you believe in stuff like that).
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Feb 21, 2016 18:27
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Omglosser posted:I've always thought I was schizoid myself on some level. 95% of the friends I've made in my life were from people approaching me and engaging me to hang out, and mistaking my apathy/indifference for "wow he's a really good listener", something I just believed too and embraced because I was a teenager and didn't know any different. Really I'm just clueless about stuff, like I didn't realize they needed input from me. Even if I had little to none. People would just default on "oh he agrees with me/approves of what I've said" because I would just stare and listen. Most of the girls I've dated I've worked with, because I had no other way of meeting females. Oddly enough I'm in love now and have been with my girl for 6 years, so that's pretty cool/lucky. Love will teach you a lot if you ever get to feel it for real. I don't really have emotions. Lately I've felt "I don't give a poo poo" and have sat in bed all day on laptop, mindlessly browsing dumb election crap. Like even here on SA I have a back log of threads I want to finish reading but I can't get through them. I've also had some issues with some accounts concerning bill and finances that I need to recheck and manage bu I've been procrastinating for over a month and haven't done poo poo. As a result, I don't even know if I have insurance right now, so I'm off all my depression and adhd medication so im making everything worse. And I just don't give a gently caress. I also feel like I don't have a place in the world. It used to be I had all these opportunists and things to explore, but it's moved on without me and changed into poo poo that I don't understand and am out of touch with. Are you in a martial art? I've taken taekwondoe.
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Feb 21, 2016 23:54
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Ausmund posted:The first paragraph sounds familiar to me, but was lost completely when love came up. I always thought "love" was just a more extreme version of the word "like", I don't know what the hell anyone else is referring to or what they think they're referring too. I think being a social construct that everyone buys into because it's acceptable/expected is a big part of it. Not trying to poo poo on other people's feelings, I just don't get what gently caress anyone is talking about and kind of assume they're lying. It's one of those things you're told when you're a kid "that you'll understand when you're older" and it just never happens. It's just the same empathy you feel for other people times a billion. If you don't feel empathy, like for friends or family or whoever, then 0 times 0 will just equal 0. How did you go with the meditation thing? I think you could benefit from sitting in a room with a bunch of other people with no expectation to talk or interact whatsoever. I think committing to do that instead of loving around uselessly on the same lovely forums every day could make a difference. If you just keep doing the same poo poo over and over nothing will ever change. Sit in the loving park or something instead, even just the sunlight might do you some good. Try to break the habit of going home straight after work, it seriously sounds like you've just worn these deep habitual grooves in your brain and you're just running on autopilot 24/7.
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Feb 22, 2016 11:19
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Ausmund posted:The first paragraph sounds familiar to me, but was lost completely when love came up. I always thought "love" was just a more extreme version of the word "like", I don't know what the hell anyone else is referring to or what they think they're referring too. I think being a social construct that everyone buys into because it's acceptable/expected is a big part of it. Not trying to poo poo on other people's feelings, I just don't get what gently caress anyone is talking about and kind of assume they're lying. It's one of those things you're told when you're a kid "that you'll understand when you're older" and it just never happens. Yeah I wasn't really sure about love for a long time either. I had been super attached to a girl before, but that was it. I actually agree that most people are just lying or not understanding what they're talking about when they talk about love. Usually it's just a mix of pride/lust/ego/attachment. But when I met my current gf (at work go figure), it was just a weird thing cuz this other guy at work would confide in me (because I would just nod and go "uh-huh") about all of the awful and disgusting things he wanted to do to her rear end, and she was just so nice and innocent I would hear this and internally panic and think "I can't let him near her", so I just stayed by her a lot and a I guess she had feelings for me too. From there it blossomed. *shrug* It was just instinct for me at first. Suck about not having emotions. That's not something I can relate with, although at times I do feel that way. Look I'm no health professional here but a part of me suggesting that you take up a martial art is from my personal experience escaping emptiness and loneliness. If you're sitting around all day doing nothing, you might be making things worse for yourself. Your brain is a part of your body and it needs something to do. An active body is a happy body. These aren't just cliche slogans, this is for real, like on a genetic level. Nutrition and physical activity are probably more important to mental health than anything else (besides human interaction). Even if you don't feel anything or feel like you don't feel anything, just dutifully pursuing greater health on all aspects (physical/social/nutritional) may bring you to a better place. I obviously don't know for sure because I'm just a stranger on the internet but as I sensed a little similarity between us I'm sharing what helped me. I know the feeling of having no place in the world all too well. I still struggle with it from time to time but part of that is my own delusion that I'm supposed to be doing something greater or something. If you get to a place where you can have a relationship, like a serious loving one where you can start a family, or be a part of the other person's family, you'll start to feel you have a place. Probably. I used to do karate and judo, later did brazilian jiu-jitsu, then did mma for about 3 years. Although now I'm kind of the cliche working stiff with a dad bod now even though I have no kids. MMA was the most fun because of the workout, and plus it was way easier to get chicks. Like just being me who stares and nods during most conversation I was apparently a charming and mysterious dude. Judo would be second place for fun level because you can throw big heavy people on their backs and if not in competition getting thrown yourself and hitting the mat is fun in itself. I'm also curious, do you suffer from any paranoia or delusions of grandeur or anything? I still get paranoid a lot, like if I'm taking a piss at the urinal in public I'm like watching people walk by in case they want to mug or stab me. I know intellectually that this is absurd but it still crosses my mind. I also thought I was the next Jesus when I was around 15.
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Feb 22, 2016 15:23
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Ausmund posted:I don't really have emotions. Lately I've felt "I don't give a poo poo" and have sat in bed all day on laptop, mindlessly browsing dumb election crap. Like even here on SA I have a back log of threads I want to finish reading but I can't get through them. I've also had some issues with some accounts concerning bill and finances that I need to recheck and manage bu I've been procrastinating for over a month and haven't done poo poo. As a result, I don't even know if I have insurance right now, so I'm off all my depression and adhd medication so im making everything worse. And I just don't give a gently caress. Go on a run, seriously. It has gotten me out of situations like this every single time in my life, without fail. It's like a magic switch that makes these types of problems disappear. Go, run, preferably till you feel like you are dying and your lungs are burning. Also, when you feel some self-pity thoughts come up in you head, don't just sit there. Fight back. These thoughts want to make you feel bad and break you, destroy you. They are a parasites and responsible for your suffering, don't let them do that to you. Imagine beating the poo poo out them in revenge, for everything that they have done to you. Get angry.  quote:I also feel like I don't have a place in the world. It used to be I had all these opportunists and things to explore, but it's moved on without me and changed into poo poo that I don't understand and am out of touch with. The key to happiness in life is not really a secret and you probably heard it a millions times already. You are unhappy because you have not done(for whatever reason) the things that will make you happy in life. Is there something that you are really good in? Do you have any talents? (Even if it's trivial stuff) GABA ghoul fucked around with this message at 15:26 on Feb 22, 2016 |
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Feb 22, 2016 15:24
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Chadzok posted:It's just the same empathy you feel for other people times a billion. If you don't feel empathy, like for friends or family or whoever, then 0 times 0 will just equal 0. Sometimes I'll listen to something like the Hans Zimmer "time" and just zone out and daydream. I day dream a lot. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, basically. Omglosser posted:Yeah I wasn't really sure about love for a long time either. I had been super attached to a girl before, but that was it. I actually agree that most people are just lying or not understanding what they're talking about when they talk about love. Usually it's just a mix of pride/lust/ego/attachment. But when I met my current gf (at work go figure), it was just a weird thing cuz this other guy at work would confide in me (because I would just nod and go "uh-huh") about all of the awful and disgusting things he wanted to do to her rear end, and she was just so nice and innocent I would hear this and internally panic and think "I can't let him near her", so I just stayed by her a lot and a I guess she had feelings for me too. From there it blossomed. *shrug* It was just instinct for me at first. Since I've been off my meds, the anxiety and numbness kind of has been replaced with feelings of frustration and irritability. I don't act out on it though, but it feels like lately people are really getting on my loving nerves and need to stay the hell out of the way. I actually have a physically demanding job at work where I have to unload the trucks by the individual parcel and I knid of enjoy it because of the exercise and endorphin rush. Its pretty much the worst job in the store and other people think I'm crazy for not minding it lol. They're usually 2400+ pieces and I have one other person helping me. I was going to the gym in the town I worked in with my coworkers after work and really liked it, by the canceled the special deal on the pass I had and the regular pass is a rip off, plus I don't live where the gym is. Theres another one in town, but I've been procrastinating, and hate going to the gym alone, but I can just get over it and higher a trainer or something. I was usually told growing up how smart, mature and talented I was (I wasn't any), but I never took an interest, didn't put in the effort, was childish and immature in other ways, didn't pay attention to my surroundings(not intentionally), and didn't think school or my future was important(not true, I would always be stressed out and miserable by school), and didn't appreciate anything. I would also get yelled out for "playing on the computer" and playing video games, because they were childish and destroying my life and I needed to grow up. In a way they were right, I was a chronic procrastinator. So I guess I got some mixed messages growing up, so I probably do have some deep seeded delusions or feelings of entitlement, or fear of failure, which explains why I've worked the same retail store for 9 years coasting by complacently. I've been putting off martial arts because the last school was trying to rip me off. I was a teenage and I went there for a while (one belt from black) and they were more interested in me buy new sparring equipment every years and enlisting in expensive tournaments. I progressed slow, but the kids who went to tournaments and bought equipment and participated more moved up much faster, I thought I was doing something wrong. I was a very quite kid that never spoke up and didn't have the critical thinking or stronger world understanding that I have now to realize I was being ripped off. Well my parents, they were paying for it. They wanted to charge me $300 to test for blackbelt and quit because I was starting to work part time anyway. Maybe, I can't pee in public unless I'm in a stall. I also wonder if people are timing how long I've been standing in there and when I finally start peeing. And sometimes I'll be in bed but like internet conspiracy stories and ghosts will be running through my imagination and I can't sleep, but that's it. waitwhatno posted:Go on a run, seriously. It has gotten me out of situations like this every single time in my life, without fail. It's like a magic switch that makes these types of problems disappear. Go, run, preferably till you feel like you are dying and your lungs are burning. When I'm off my meds I feel like I can't control my wondering thoughts, can't concentrate, and I forget what I was just doing. Its like being Guy Pierce in Memento. I can't control them, no matter how hard I try, they control me and dictate my life. No, I never make any effort or attempts, and I never have the motivation or drive, so I'm not good at anything.
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Feb 23, 2016 01:27
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Ausmund posted:I was usually told growing up how smart, mature and talented I was (I wasn't any), but I never took an interest, didn't put in the effort This kind of thing also kind of messed me up as a kid- I ended up being lazy and coasting through the easy grades because of it and once things got harder I could never be bothered to put in the effort. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I've hung out with Ausmund a couple of times since we're local and he's actually really enjoyable to be around, easy to chat with and totally 'normal' in person. Although I relate to a lot of stuff in this thread so I know that sometimes it can be easy to put on a normal front when you feel anything but inside. 
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Feb 23, 2016 03:00
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Lol thanks for calling me 'normal'  But yeah, I'd be afraid to ask for help too. Ausmund fucked around with this message at 03:43 on Feb 23, 2016 |
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Feb 23, 2016 03:40
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Ausmund posted:I was usually told growing up how smart, mature and talented I was (I wasn't any), but I never took an interest, didn't put in the effort, was childish and immature in other ways, didn't pay attention to my surroundings(not intentionally), and didn't think school or my future was important(not true, I would always be stressed out and miserable by school), and didn't appreciate anything. I would also get yelled out for "playing on the computer" and playing video games, because they were childish and destroying my life and I needed to grow up up. In a way they were right, I was a chronic procrastinator. So I guess I got some mixed messages growing up, so I probably do have some deep seeded delusions or feelings of entitlement, or fear of failure, which explains why I've worked the same retail store for 9 years coasting by complacently. Heh, I have a brother with ADHD and that sounds like a textbook case of it. If undiagnosed, most of them feel different, out of place and like failures all their lives. A feeling of entitlement is also probably normal, since they are much more capable than people assume. They just can't be capable on command and all the time, like everyone else, which leads to misunderstandings. Maybe it feels like an injustice for being mistaken for something that they are not? When were you diagnosed? quote:You are right. Sometimes, I'd be feeling fine running, but I would find my heart beating too fast and it would scare me and I would stop. Can you kill yourself from exertingvyourself too much? Nope. It's statistically almost impossible for you to not be above average in something. It would be a miracle. Just find something, anything. It doesn't have to be extraordinary or glorious, for example: I'm above average in throwing(although worse than any serious athlete). I'm good at coding(although I hate it and try to avoid it as much as possible). I'm good at finding perfect presents for people(although I don't give a poo poo way too often and just get some crap). Scientific studies on happiness/satisfaction always come down to two thing, that are most important: i) Being connected to the world and the people around you ii) doing something productive, that you are good at and enjoy doing and finding recognition for this work There just doesn't seem to be a path to happiness without finding an outlet for you productivity. So, what are you good at?
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Feb 23, 2016 12:44
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waitwhatno posted:Heh, I have a brother with ADHD and that sounds like a textbook case of it. If undiagnosed, most of them feel different, out of place and like failures all their lives. A feeling of entitlement is also probably normal, since they are much more capable than people assume. They just can't be capable on command and all the time, like everyone else, which leads to misunderstandings. Maybe it feels like an injustice for being mistaken for something that they are not? quote:Nope. It's statistically almost impossible for you to not be above average in something. It would be a miracle. quote:Scientific studies on happiness/satisfaction always come down to two thing, that are most important: I'm not good at anything. Growing up, if I was ever with other kids, I was always the one that "sucked at life" and that everyone made fun of. Really that hasn't changed much. I'm either really bad at something or have average/ below-average human competence
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Feb 23, 2016 21:07
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I wonder if there's some form of Dunning-Kruger going on, where you are legitimately good at something but incorrectly believe that there's nothing noteworthy about your competence level?
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Feb 24, 2016 06:50
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That's termed "impostor syndrome" I think.
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Feb 24, 2016 18:14
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Ausmund posted:I'm not good at anything. Growing up, if I was ever with other kids, I was always the one that "sucked at life" and that everyone made fun of. Really that hasn't changed much. I'm either really bad at something or have average/ below-average human competence well, you are better at spelling and grammar than 99% of the people out there, so have you thought about going back to college? your current job doesn't seem to add anything positive to your live (except money), so what is the purpose of keeping it? get a part time job, get some roommates and go to community college. roommates are awesome and will increase your life quality a lot, trust me. you sound like the perfect room mate. also, college will give you a lot of new opportunities and experiences. i think you should get your adhd properly treated and go to college. if you have any anxiety about doing it, you need get blackout drunk and enroll while you are drunk. (if that's lovely advice then that's purely your fault for not giving me more talents to work with  )
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Feb 26, 2016 00:15
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i'm schizoid and im much better off than you OP so you should try being more like me, imo
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Mar 21, 2016 00:01
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eightpole posted:i'm schizoid and im much better off than you OP so you should try being more like me, imo This is actually good advice. Have you ever read the ancient parable about the goon and the well, my son?
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Mar 21, 2016 16:06
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My lease is up in august, I want to move to the city where there is actually people and stuff to do. There just isn't poo poo here for me, it's like tatooine. I also need a new job. At the one I have, it would be great if I could work and get 40 hours, but they've been getting cut, sending us home when our work isn't done, and hiring more people so there is even less to do. 8 hour work days are now 4-5 hour days. Luckily I have about ~80 of vacation stock piled, but they have this new policy where we can't get a payout wiht new vacation hours we obtain in this year, and they can't be used unless your original hours are used up first, so 20 of them are on lock down until I burn through the first 60. But I can only use 35 a week at a time. And that's if I'm able to get a whole week or any time off. I've worked at the same loving store since highschool, and honesty I'm too scared to get a new job, I'm complacent here, make $12.31 an hour, and feel like I won't be able to do any better. I've been putting it off for years. waitwhatno posted:well, you are better at spelling and grammar than 99% of the people out there, so have you thought about going back to college? your current job doesn't seem to add anything positive to your live (except money), so what is the purpose of keeping it? get a part time job, get some roommates and go to community college. roommates are awesome and will increase your life quality a lot, trust me. you sound like the perfect room mate. also, college will give you a lot of new opportunities and experiences. waitwhatno posted:This is actually good advice. Have you ever read the ancient parable about the goon and the well, my son? eightpole posted:i'm schizoid and im much better off than you OP so you should try being more like me, imo
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Mar 21, 2016 23:45
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Ausmund posted:I also don't buy into the social construct that college giving people new opportunities and experiences, it's a con to steal kids' money. But you do know, on a rational level, that none of this is true, right? quote:Maybe I should get roommates when I move? Try it. Most people are not meant to live alone and feel better living with someone else. If you find the right people it can be really great (but if you find the wrong people it can be hell on earth). Also, you will save some money on rent.
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Mar 22, 2016 21:26
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waitwhatno posted:But you do know, on a rational level, that none of this is true, right?
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Mar 22, 2016 23:59
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Ausmund posted:My lease is up in august, I want to move to the city where there is actually people and stuff to do. There just isn't poo poo here for me, it's like tatooine. I also need a new job. At the one I have, it would be great if I could work and get 40 hours, but they've been getting cut, sending us home when our work isn't done, and hiring more people so there is even less to do. 8 hour work days are now 4-5 hour days. Luckily I have about ~80 of vacation stock piled, but they have this new policy where we can't get a payout wiht new vacation hours we obtain in this year, and they can't be used unless your original hours are used up first, so 20 of them are on lock down until I burn through the first 60. But I can only use 35 a week at a time. And that's if I'm able to get a whole week or any time off. As I've heard before, the best time to look for a new job is when you have one. See what services the Dept. of Labor offers around you--you might be able to find a center that can help with free/subsidized/cheap training programs, aptitude tests, skills assessment, job fairs, etc. If nothing else, you'll possibly be able to get on an e-mail listing of open job positions that you wouldn't hear about otherwise. You know what I've noticed? You say you "don't have any emotions," but you just described yourself as complacent and scared. You've also described yourself as feeling: ashamed, frustrated, depressed, overwhelmed, distressed, stupid, hopeless, irritable, defective, guilty, anxious, devastated, lost. You have emotions, they're just mostly negative ones. I'm just pulling stuff out of the air, but it seems like you're not incapable of feelings, not even happiness. It sounds like you're detached from your emotions because they're mostly negative. I wonder if the same doesn't happen with positive emotions--they're so rare and pushed so far away that they barely register. Please, please PLEASE talk to your counselor about your health insurance and continuing treatment, because you need to get back on your meds. If nothing else, you need a steady level of your prescribed medications. Beg for samples from every doctor you can talk to, if you must. And PLEASE call your counselor, because I promise, she will be thrilled to hear you say you're in a bad place and want, need, deserve help.
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Mar 23, 2016 00:54
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mystes posted:Thinking nobody actually enjoys food is weird. Thinking that college is a scam is not weird. Physicians, engineers and lawyers are a scam. Learning is a scam. Meeting a shitton of like minded people is a scam. Good to know.
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Mar 23, 2016 01:15
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waitwhatno posted:Physicians, engineers and lawyers are a scam. Learning is a scam. Meeting a shitton of like minded people is a scam. Good to know.
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Mar 23, 2016 02:11
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Bobbie Wickham posted:As I've heard before, the best time to look for a new job is when you have one. See what services the Dept. of Labor offers around you--you might be able to find a center that can help with free/subsidized/cheap training programs, aptitude tests, skills assessment, job fairs, etc. If nothing else, you'll possibly be able to get on an e-mail listing of open job positions that you wouldn't hear about otherwise. It's scary because I have no idea how to get a job. The one I have now I just got with luck in 07, and have stayed at it since. I pretty much just show up, clock in, and keep to myself, I'm petrifyed of talking to managers because I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing and getting fired and my life ruined. I know it sounds crazy, but I believe on a primal level and always avoid everyone. All the mangers are all also huge assholes that don't listen or respect people, but that's a separate issue. I work for a Wally World type place.
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Mar 23, 2016 02:27
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mystes posted:I'm guessing you're not from the US. College in the US is hosed up in a few ways, but it's not a "scam." It's definitely too expensive, and just having a four-year degree isn't the golden ticket to a decent living that it used to be. (It is still an asset--when's the last time you saw a job advertising "Degree-Holders Need Not Apply?".) I would blame that on capitalism run amok, though, not on higher education itself. Edit: Dang, you replied when I was still typing. Anyway, Ausmund posted:Yeah, I've been off meds for about three months now, and I've noticed I'm much more angry, frustrated, and irritable, which is different from the usual numb and indifferent. But I finally got around to calling my insurance and straightening out the issue, I had to pay $560 (affordable care act ftw) so I just need to get refill on my prescriptions. Also my old doctor left town so I have to get a new one and set up my medication again. I was taking wellbutrin, lexapro, and adderall. I'm so glad to hear you've got insurance again. Get those pills, and hey--once it's done, go ahead and give yourself a little pat on the back for taking care of yourself instead of sliding back into a bad habit. Ausmund posted:It's scary because I have no idea how to get a job. The one I have now I just got with luck in 07, and have stayed at it since. I pretty much just show up, clock in, and keep to myself, I'm petrifyed of talking to managers because I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing and getting fired and my life ruined. That's okay! Changing your life is scary--it's the FEAR that lets you know you're alive! In all seriousness, though, there are resources out there to help you. The beauty of looking for a job now, is that there's no pressure to find something immediately. You have time to identify what sort of job you might want, craft a good resume, and do the boring, tedious work of looking for a job. I really recommend hitting up any government employment programs that assist in job searching/training/education. See what the Dept. of Labor offers in your area. You might even luck out and get a job counselor, who will work with you one-on-one. Go to your counselor/counseling facility, and ask about employment resources. I'm going to suggest something that may not sit well with you, but hear me out: see what programs are available for the disabled. Your ADD may qualify you as just disabled enough to qualify for government programs designed to help disabled people find gainful employment. I qualified for a program in New York, based entirely on being a Knucklehead McSpazatron who was sick of being a gently caress-up. It was really demoralizing to realize I qualified as "disabled," but that label can cover a wide spectrum of issues and severity. I.e: I was disabled enough to qualify for an vocational education grant, but I have never been even close to qualified to receive SSD benefits. Bobbie Wickham fucked around with this message at 02:54 on Mar 23, 2016 |
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Mar 23, 2016 02:32
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Bobbie Wickham posted:Go to your counselor/counseling facility, and ask about employment resources. I'm going to suggest something that may not sit well with you, but hear me out: see what programs are available for the disabled. Your ADD may qualify you as just disabled enough to qualify for government programs designed to help disabled people find gainful employment. I qualified for a program in New York, based entirely on being a Knucklehead McSpazatron who was sick of being a gently caress-up. It was really demoralizing to realize I qualified as "disabled," but that label can cover a wide spectrum of issues and severity. I.e: I was disabled enough to qualify for an vocational education grant, but I have never been even close to qualified to receive SSD benefits. I also really don't want to juggle multiple jobs, even though I may have to. I'd rather just get a full time one, full 40hrs, hourly, and a livable wage. I make $12.31 where I work now, and it was great working full time, staying busy, and getting a fat paycheck(for me anyways) and I saved up nearly 10k(down to 7.5k now, sadly because of laziness, getting hours cut, and neglecting my stockpile of vacation hours) living at my mom's house. I'm just afraid I wont find anything as good and keep doing dumb poo poo like procrastinating(I think I have serious problem with it). idk just gently caress life.
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Mar 25, 2016 02:06
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woops
Tabletops fucked around with this message at 02:57 on Apr 11, 2016 |
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Apr 11, 2016 02:42
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I'm a dumb idiot for falling off my medication. I've been feeling like an absolutely miserable and anxious mess. Going to the doctor today, hope my insurance situation is straight.
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Apr 11, 2016 18:55
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