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computer parts posted:Kaep will end up on the Browns or Texans. Not with that cap hit, he's not ending up on the Browns. We're drafting a new QB and keeping McCown as a place holder.
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Feb 26, 2016 04:06
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NFC North Packers: Aaron Rodgers finally comes out of the closet. Packers win the division at 10 and 6, while sportscasters be really lovely about his sexuality despite the fact that he never brings it up, it's always them. Packers go on to win the Super Bowl. Vikings: Vikings also go 10 and 6 and get a wild card. Nobody gives a poo poo but Bridgewater looks pretty okay. Just enough to give you some hope. Adrian Peterson runs for a mere 1400 yards @ 4.4 yards per carry. Everyone predicts his demise. Peterson is literally nailed to a cross during halftime of Sunday football in week 16. He rises from the dead just in time to buy the Vikings to a 9-7 playoff loss against the Seahawks. Bears: The Bears finally put literal bears on the team. One, a Kodiak grizzly, mauls a bunch of people after being savagely heckled after a missed tackle. The other is just a gay dude with a lot of hair. He sacks Aaron Rodgers 18 times over the course of two games. At the end of the season, Rogers announces that he is gay pregnant with gay bear man's hairy baby. team finishes 6 and 10. That other team: I'm drunk and can't even think of who in the hell else is in this division. They do okay I guess. We'll say 8 and 8. edit: I just remembered it was the Lions. 2 and 14. Quiet Feet fucked around with this message at 06:01 on Feb 26, 2016 |
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Feb 26, 2016 05:58
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Domata Peko will be spotted on the sideline eating a sandwich
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Feb 26, 2016 06:12
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Big Ol Marsh Pussy posted:Andy Reid will be spotted on the sideline eating many sandwiches
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Feb 26, 2016 11:48
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Hijo Del Helmsley posted:
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Feb 26, 2016 16:39
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Andy Reid will be on the sideline managing the official game clock.
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Feb 26, 2016 18:09
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Mystic Stylez posted:Andy Reid will be on the sideline managing the official game clock. I always wondered what would happen if you meshed up test cricket and the NFL.
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Feb 26, 2016 18:12
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Bort Bortles posted:Andy Reid will be spotted on the sideline eating many sandwiches quote:Andy Reid will be spotted on the sideline snacking on his playbook. Obligatory.  
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Mar 2, 2016 01:20
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Big Ben and Tom Brady go down with injuries
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Mar 2, 2016 01:43
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NC-17 posted:I'm sure they gave him a full tour of the waterboarding room. I don't get all the hate for Brees. If anyone is allowed to dismiss water torture after witnessing it it should be the QB of New Orleans.
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Mar 2, 2016 02:06
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Chichevache posted:I don't get all the hate for Brees. If anyone is allowed to dismiss water torture after witnessing it it should be the QB of New Orleans. 
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Mar 2, 2016 02:26
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If Treadwell is drafted by a team with a top 25 QB he matches or surpasses Amari Cooper's rookie numbers.
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Mar 2, 2016 03:08
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The Puppy Bowl posted:If Treadwell is drafted by a team with a top 25 QB he matches or surpasses Amari Cooper's rookie numbers. Cooper played on a bad wheel last 4-5 games. Hardly bold.
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Mar 2, 2016 03:33
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Just because he could've done better doesn't make 70 catches 1,000 yards and 6 TDs a less awesome rookie stat line.
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Mar 2, 2016 13:04
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The Puppy Bowl posted:Just because he could've done better doesn't make 70 catches 1,000 yards and 6 TDs a less awesome rookie stat line.
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Mar 2, 2016 16:21
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Bort Bortles posted:Especially on a team that has been historically bad the past what, 15 years? And actually has other receivers around the thousand yard mark as well
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Mar 2, 2016 17:43
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The Puppy Bowl posted:If Treadwell is drafted by a team with a top 25 QB he matches or surpasses Amari Cooper's rookie numbers. If the Lions don't go DT in the first round like people are projecting them to, and Megatron retires, I could see them going after Treadwell.
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Mar 3, 2016 01:45
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If Treadwell falls all the way to the Lions the league is officially retarded.
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Mar 3, 2016 02:06
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The Puppy Bowl posted:If Treadwell falls all the way to the Lions the league is officially retarded. Yeah, but if the Lions are desperate, they could trade up.
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Mar 3, 2016 02:13
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MrLogan posted:Raiders, Chiefs, & Chargers are all making the playoffs. Raiders finish the season 12-4 lmfao look at this post
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Mar 4, 2016 04:04
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AFC South Colts: Andrew Luck returns to 2014 form, scoring 37 points a game and dragging the Colts to another 10-6 record because they can at least beat up the Texans, Jaguars and Titans. The defense sucks though. During their one playoff game in the wildcard round, Jim irsay snorts the sidelines away and is ejected. He excitedly screams "I thought it was coke!" Chemical analysis later on determines that he was correct. The Colts lose this game on a pick-6 that bounces off the hands of whatever waiver wire trash he's throwing to. Texans: JJ Watt literally kills and eats a guy on the field but it's that player you don't like, so its okay. The Texans go the entire offseason without a quarterback, and Bill O'Brien does the McCauley Culkin in Home Alone face thing when he only realizes this 15 minutes before the start of their week 1 game. A stadium-wide game of rock-paper-scissors determines who gets to start, and coincidentally it's Peyton Manning who was just there loving around. He plays 6 games for them before being hit in the head so hard that his entire face ends up between his nipples and leaving his cranium just a soft, fleshy, featureless bulb. Manning's six backups play a game of Russian Roulette to determine who plays next only with 5 chambers full and one empty. The Texans go 7-9 because at least they can beat up on the Jaguars and Titans. Jaguars: Luckily for Jaguar owner Shad Khan, President Trump's Muslim ban goes into effect while the team is in London. This cements the future of the Jacksonville Jaguars of London. The team manages a 6-10 record because they can at least beat up on the Titans, and Blake Bortles scores an average 37 points a game. Early uniform changes are leaked and hint at a name change to the Bizarro Colts. Wembley stadium is renovated at the end of the season just as rumors of the move to Glasgow begin. Titans: Who gives a poo poo?
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Mar 6, 2016 07:19
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Quiet Feet posted:AFC South Bitch the Titans are going to run wild on the AFCS. Mariota is going to sling it every which way. Casey is going to break the wills of men. First round playoff exit here we come!
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Mar 6, 2016 07:28
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Metapod posted:Bitch the Titans are going to run wild on the AFCS. Mariota is going to sling it every which way. Casey is going to break the wills of men. First round playoff exit here we come!
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Mar 6, 2016 14:53
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Metapod posted:Bitch the Titans are going to run wild on the AFCS. Mariota is going to sling it every which way. Casey is going to break the wills of men. First round playoff exit here we come! I this Casey guy a Titan? I don't know the name of anyone but Mariota and only because you just mentioned him.
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Mar 6, 2016 15:49
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Bort Bortles posted:Uhh, Mike Mularky, bro. He will make things harder than it should be but to get to paradise we must go through purgatory
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Mar 6, 2016 17:27
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Bort Bortles posted:Uhh, Mike Mularky, bro. La la la la, I can't hear you, la la la la.
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Mar 6, 2016 20:16
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Oh I almost forgot. JAX will play two primetime games, one Thursday (Titans probably, might even be another gouge my eyes out bowl.) and one Monday.
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Mar 8, 2016 01:35
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TSBX posted:Oh I almost forgot. JAX will play two primetime games, one Thursday (Titans probably, might even be another gouge my eyes out bowl.) and one Monday.
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Mar 8, 2016 16:53
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Bort Bortles posted:I was hoping they would get a better matchup than the Titans again on a Thursday since the offense is so exciting now. Getting a MNF game is exciting. Uh titans are winning the AFCS next season so it doesn't get more exciting than a 1-2 match-up.
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Mar 8, 2016 18:22
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Bort Bortles posted:I was hoping they would get a better matchup than the Titans again on a Thursday since the offense is so exciting now. Getting a MNF game is exciting. Titans jags mnf gonna own.
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Mar 8, 2016 18:34
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The AFCS is going to be pretty competitive if last year was any indication. I could see 2 teams with winning records again this year.
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Mar 8, 2016 18:45
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Also, the MNF thing is just a prediction.
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Mar 8, 2016 18:45
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The Big Jesus posted:Uh titans are winning the AFCS next season so it doesn't get more exciting than a 1-2 match-up. Bort Bortles posted:Uhh, Mike Mularky, bro. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Metapod posted:Titans jags mnf gonna own.   
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Mar 8, 2016 18:48
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patriots will have an off year - but an "off year" for the patriots means maybe going 10-6 or 11-5 and making into the playoffs as the 5th or 6th seed rather than their usual first round bye business. gronk will get injured week four and will be out for two weeks before returning to catch three TD passes in one game. sports analysts will probably not shut up about this for a few weeks after the fact. i like making super specific predictions on the off chance they come true also the Broncos are gonna be bad i think
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Mar 8, 2016 21:05
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Broncos defense should still be good, that is worth 8 wins. AFC South, Luck stinks it up again but at least he is rich. 8-8 Jags miss the playoffs because they miss a field-goal.
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Mar 9, 2016 02:59
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Turdsdown Tom posted:patriots will have an off year - but an "off year" for the patriots means maybe going 10-6 or 11-5 and making into the playoffs as the 5th or 6th seed rather than their usual first round bye business. gronk will get injured week four and will be out for two weeks before returning to catch three TD passes in one game. sports analysts will probably not shut up about this for a few weeks after the fact. What was your name before this glorious new change?
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Mar 9, 2016 03:24
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