Does It Have To Go Gold?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Does It Have To Go Gold?

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JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

OctoberBlues posted:

Hey guys I've voted 5 like 40 times but it doesn't seem to be accepting them. Do I need to "hack" into the "mainframe" or something.

im gonna hack your mainframe in about 2seconds bro

# ? Aug 31, 2016 22:18

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# ? Apr 30, 2024 19:56

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

JiveHonky posted:

im gonna hack your mainframe in about 2seconds bro

*giggles*

# ? Aug 31, 2016 22:19

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

genesplicer posted:

A stream of bat's urine, illuminated by the light of the full moon.

My posting.

# ? Aug 31, 2016 22:21

BirryJoru: Mar 21, 2012; GRAMAGEDDON ISN'T OVER YET. SORRY.-RA TEHUTI

OctoberBlues posted:

Hey guys I've voted 5 like 40 times but it doesn't seem to be accepting them. Do I need to "hack" into the "mainframe" or something.

no don't

it's really not worth it

# ? Aug 31, 2016 22:23

CrashCat: Jan 10, 2003; another shit post

redm posted:

a quick tut on how to make gold out of lead the alchemists way:

1. draw a circle

2. put another shape inside of it. there are lots of shapes just pick one.

3. get some yeast and sprinkle it onto an egg

4. put the egg into a box made out of solid gold

5. pick up the box and throw it off of a cliff into the ocean

6. crumple up the paper you drew the circle onto

7. pick up a gun and shoot it into a dirt patch 7 times

8. spit on the dirt patch and repeat these words "WHERE IS THE SUN AND WHAT IS IT AND IS IT OUTSIDE AND ALSO HOW DOES SPACE WORK?" but use google to translate that to like olde english or something first

9. wait 3 days

10. dig up the bullets and go to a jewelry store and tell the clerk working at the counter that you received them from a gypsy in exchange for your best horse

11. say they're magic gold seeds and will turn into a gold tree. if you need to, put them in a pouch first.

12. ask for a rolex.

13. If this doesn't work, read an entire book about alchemy and its history and discover for yourself why it's completely ridiculous and should always be laughed at, despite having an anime about a one armed blonde kid and a ghost knight robot or whatever devoted to it.

14. Wait to die and tell King Enma that you want to be reincarnated as Hernán Cortés.

15. Be reborn as L. Ron Hubbard.

16. Make up a religion about aliens to trick celebrities with goofy technology that beeps and sends out electrical pulses.

17. Secretly worship Quetzalcoatl and spend all of your time wishing for literal gold.

18. Obtain human body parts on the black market and start devouring them to make yourself more powerful.

19. Ignore it when anyone brings up the fact that cannibalism breaks down important enzymes in your brain and basically makes you mentally handicapped.

20. They'll never know how great it feels to eat people... The peasants...

21. Eat a bunch of people.

22. Start eating gold.

23. Just eat everything you can find, gently caress it, why not?

24. Start noticing that you don't feel quite as good when you started eating everything in sight and start eating your own poo poo out of desperation.

25. Tell your concerned friends and family that they'll never understand the rush you feel from eating your own poo poo.

26. Wait to die again and ask Satan to send you back to earth because you don't think you ate enough poo poo.

27. Be reborn as a housefly.

28. Get pissed off and just run right into a car window out of frustration.

29. Tell St. Peter that you want to be reborn as Albert Einstein because he was smart and probably made fat dosh with his 5 character algebraic formula. (you know the one)

30. Be reborn as Hades.

31. Get pissed off again.

32. Eventually just accept it because whatever, purgatory and poo poo who cares

it worked!!! thanks a+++++++

# ? Sep 1, 2016 12:41

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Does It Have To Go Gold?

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