Jew Crew Checkin' In

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Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

OfficialGBSCaliph posted:

Im English but a guy told me the Anglo-Saxon s were the actual real Hebrews so I think this is my thread

Sorry about your friend being a white supremacist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9TbiIEpZJ8

# ? May 10, 2016 00:25

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 17:08

ContinuityNewTimes: Dec 30, 2010; Я выдуман напрочь

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Sorry about your friend being a white supremacist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9TbiIEpZJ8

# ? May 10, 2016 00:27

ContinuityNewTimes: Dec 30, 2010; Я выдуман напрочь

does anyone know a guy who can put foreskins back on? Asking for a friend

E: nm wrong thread

ContinuityNewTimes fucked around with this message at 00:31 on May 10, 2016

# ? May 10, 2016 00:29

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

OfficialGBSCaliph posted:

does anyone know a guy who can put foreskins back on? Asking for a friend

E: nm wrong thread

There's this amazing Israeli sitcom from the '90s called Half of Menashe. It's about one of the halves of the Menashe tribe under Philistine occupation in Biblical Israel. One of the recurring jokes is the heroic Reuel, member of the Samson's Foxes terrorist/freedom fighting organization constantly being asked by Na'ama, his love, to bring her something nice, like a ring, or a pendant.

He always brings her hundreds of Philistine foreskins.

# ? May 10, 2016 00:35

Redgrendel2001: Sep 1, 2006; you literally think a person saying their NBA team of choice being better than the fucking 76ers is a 'schtick'

a literal thing you think.

OfficialGBSCaliph posted:

Im English but a guy told me the Anglo-Saxon s were the actual real Hebrews so I think this is my thread

Yeah they're a cult called British Israelites. They've pretty much died out in the last decade, but some of the Protestant extremists in Northern Ireland have adopted it in the last few years.

quote:

British Israelism (also called Anglo-Israelism) is a doctrine based on the hypothesis that people of Western European and Northern European descent, particularly those in Great Britain, are the direct lineal descendants of the Ten Lost Tribes of the ancient Israelites. The doctrine often includes the tenet that the British Royal Family is directly descended from the line of King David.

According to the doctrine, the Lost Ten tribes of Israel found their way to Western Europe and Britain, becoming ancestors of the British and related peoples.
The central tenets of British Israelism have been refuted by evidence from modern genetic, linguistic, archaeological and philological research. The doctrine continues, however, to have a small number of adherents.

The movement has never had a head organisation or a centralized structure. Various British Israelite organisations were set up across the British Empire and in America from the 1870s; a small number of such organisations are still active today.

# ? May 10, 2016 01:46

Toys For Ass Bum: Feb 1, 2015

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lemba_people

quote:

Genetic Y-DNA analyses in the 2000s have established a partially Middle-Eastern origin for a portion of the male Lemba population. Both Arabs and Jews share this DNA, but the Cohen Modal Haplotype, an indicator of Jewish ancestry, has been found among the males of one leadership clan at rates even higher than in the general Jewish population.

Lol. Of course they're BLACK so they're not real Jews :bahgawd:

# ? May 10, 2016 02:02

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

wayne curr posted:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lemba_people

Lol. Of course they're BLACK so they're not real Jews

In case other people don't bother reading the rest of the wikipedia page:

quote:

Halakhic status as Jews

Halakhic Jewish status in Orthodox Judaism is determined by documenting an unbroken matrilineal line of descent or by conversion to Judaism. Jews who adhere to Orthodox or Conservative rabbinism believe that "Jewish status by birth" is passed only by a Jewish female to her children (if she herself is a Jew by birth or by conversion to Judaism) regardless of the Jewish status of the father. Because of the absence of matrilineal Jewish descent for the Lemba, Orthodox or Conservative Judaism would not recognise them as 'Halakhically Jewish.' Lemba would have to complete a formal conversion process to be accepted as Jews.[47]

The Reform and Reconstructionist branches of Rabbinic Judaism[47] and the Karaites, on the other hand, all recognise patrilineage. As more is learned of widespread people's histories, the Reform branch has acknowledged unusual descent outside the European and indigenous Middle Eastern spheres. Especially since publication of the genetic results of the Lemba, American Jewish communities have reached out to the people, offering assistance, sending books on Judaism and related and study materials, and initiating ties to teach the Lemba about Rabbinic Judaism. So far few Lemba have converted to Rabbinic Judaism.

South African Jews of European descent have long been aware of the Lemba, but have never accepted them as Jews or thought of them as more than an "intriguing curiosity."[4] Generally the Lemba have not been accepted as Jews because of their lack of matrilineal descent. Several rabbis and Jewish associations support their recognition as part of the "Lost Tribes of Israel".[4] In the 2000s, the Lemba Cultural Association approached the South African Jewish Board of Deputies, asking for the Lemba to be recognised as Jews by the Jewish community. The Lemba Association complained that "we like many non-European Jews are simply the victims of racism at the hands of the European Jewish establishment worldwide". They threatened to start a campaign to "protest and ultimately destroy 'Jewish apartheid'".[4]

According to Gideon Shimoni in his book, Community and Conscience: The Jews in Apartheid South Africa (2003): "In terms of halakha the Lemba are not at all comparable with the Falasha [of Ethiopia]. As a group they have no conceivable status in Judaism."[4]

Rabbi Bernhard of South Africa has stated that the only way for a member of the Lemba tribe to be recognised as a Jew is to undergo the formal Halakhic conversion process. After that, the person "would be welcomed with open arms."[4]

# ? May 10, 2016 02:07

H.H: Oct 24, 2006; August is the Cruelest Month

Absurd Alhazred posted:

I lived in Israel most of my life, so I'm fluent in Modern Hebrew, and can read most parts of the Bible (except for Daniel when it starts going into Aramaic for no goddamn reason ).

Israelis use cursive Hebrew a lot for writing notes, etc. I have to think carefully if I'm trying to write down in printed Hebrew, I've gotten so used to writing cursive since late grade school (while not having any issues reading print).

Where in Israel did you live? Were you born there?

Absurd Alhazred posted:

There's this amazing Israeli sitcom from the '90s called Half of Menashe. It's about one of the halves of the Menashe tribe under Philistine occupation in Biblical Israel. One of the recurring jokes is the heroic Reuel, member of the Samson's Foxes terrorist/freedom fighting organization constantly being asked by Na'ama, his love, to bring her something nice, like a ring, or a pendant.

He always brings her hundreds of Philistine foreskins.

The TV series was really great, too bad it's completely untranslatable since it depends so heavily on Hebrew Bible references and knowledge of 90s Israel.

If you're familiar with Israeli TV to such a degree, I'm guessing you were more than just a temporary resident. At what age did you leave?

# ? May 11, 2016 10:54

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 17:08

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

H.H posted:

Where in Israel did you live? Were you born there?

The TV series was really great, too bad it's completely untranslatable since it depends so heavily on Hebrew Bible references and knowledge of 90s Israel.

If you're familiar with Israeli TV to such a degree, I'm guessing you were more than just a temporary resident. At what age did you leave?

I lived there most of my life. I won't go into any more details, for obvious reasons.

# ? May 11, 2016 13:59

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