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Vargatron
Apr 19, 2008

MRAZZLE DAZZLE


I can confirm the veracity of this article. I live in the South and it is 100% true point by point.

Unfortunately you forgot to include a POW/MIA flag in the Wednesday itinerary.

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Mycroft Holmes
Mar 26, 2010

by Azathoth
Every time I drive to my parents house in Raleigh from my college in Greensboro, I see a house with a huge Confederate flag. I want to sneak there one night and burn it.

Gorson
Aug 29, 2014

Holy poo poo this article couldn't be more spot on. Just last night (it's August 2nd, FFS) one of my neighbors was lighting off huge mortars or firecrackers at 9:45PM. Just completely out of the blue, BOOM. Then 5 minutes later, BOOM. Then a random number of minutes later when you think it is over BOOM BOOM. They've been doing it since June, sometimes at night, sometimes during the day, sometimes on weekends, you never loving know. One has an insanely loud lawnmower that runs all the time but his lawn looks like poo poo. It is a regular thing to see neighbors out in the street, yelling at each other or seemingly nobody. They drive their junk cars up and down the street, making a hellacious racket but without any actual velocity. They literally do everything in the article, by the book. This is in Wisconsin, which is very much like the south with slightly less accent and oppressive heat.

The other morning I was woken up at 5am by a neighbor parking his car (working the night shift? Coming back from the bar? Who the gently caress knows) and he was BLASTING "Our God is an Awesome God" but not the version you might remember from Christian album infomercials, it was a dance/techno version. Later on that day someone was blasting Phil Collin's "Sussudio". Weird, but better than country.

Bedevere
Jun 24, 2005
Grimey Drawer

Vargatron posted:

Unfortunately you forgot to include a POW/MIA flag in the Wednesday itinerary.

"more flags are better!"

Same here in Tennessee...and since every house is a potential baptist church we also have putting spot lights on the big wooden cross on the lawn for Wednesday as well...unless you're black, then you don't do that.

Wednesday is getting kind of busy.

Gorson posted:

Later on that day someone was blasting Phil Collin's "Sussudio". Weird, but better than country.

Maybe he finally saw American Psycho?

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



Great read and extremely accurate. I bet a lot of people read this article and thought it was exaggerating. It wasn't. One thing I would add is dogs. Lots of dogs. My ex-neighbor had seven Labradors and would just open the front door and they would all spill out into street making GBS threads on and eating everything in site. Don't worry, you'll eventually figure out which ones bite and which ones don't. No big deal.

Vargatron
Apr 19, 2008

MRAZZLE DAZZLE


You haven't lived until you have woke up to dogs barking at 2:00AM because somebody ran a ricer through the neighborhood in first gear.

Bedevere
Jun 24, 2005
Grimey Drawer
I have a near neighbor who claims to be raising Australian Shepherds. I think they are just basset hound/pit-bull mixes who simply cannot shut up if they are still alive - although they do look very well care for, so I can't criticize that.

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Retarded_Clown_
Feb 18, 2012

Vargatron posted:

I can confirm the veracity of this article. I live in the South and it is 100% true point by point.

Unfortunately you forgot to include a POW/MIA flag in the Wednesday itinerary.

Do you really think it is acceptable to mock those who were prisoners of war/ missing in action? If so, then that is disgusting.

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