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One time I was in the bathroom at work having severe stomach cramps and my boss came in and stood outside the stall to tell me to stop slackin and get back to work in this weird fatherly tone. It made me very uncomfortable because I was pooping like literally as he was talking to me. 
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Aug 14, 2016 09:38
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| # ? May 3, 2024 19:50 |
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A place where I worked kept a can of scented spray in the bathroom. You're supposed to spray a little puff of it into the air after a bad poo poo as courtesy to the next person. (Personally I hate the smell of that stuff and don't think it does anything to neutralize odor just makes the bathroom smell like poo poo mixed with some gross fruity chemical). One time I go in to take a dump and when I sit down, the seat feels slippery. Some idiot had sprayed the stuff directly on the seat, covering the entire surface. I had loving springtime breeze potpourri scented rear end cheeks for the rest of the day. Also there was someone who used to crank his hog into the toilet and leave ropes of jizz clinging to the inside of the bowl that wouldn't go away after multiple flushes. A concerned coworker taped up a note to the effect of hey rear end in a top hat stop trying to get the toilet pregnant. Management did not find this funny. The note was taken down but the guy must have been embarrassed enough because there were no more loads after that.
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Aug 14, 2016 16:00
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Millie posted:It happened again yesterday. This is how I imagine the poop came out. It's like it didn't even touch the water, just mashed up against the back of the bowl: Why are you drawing scat porn of Lucy from Peanuts
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Aug 14, 2016 22:49
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Wickerman posted:That story has left tears running down my face I'm laughing so hard Seconded.
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Aug 14, 2016 23:06
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Arrhythmia posted:This was at school but whatever it's in the spirit of the thread. Dude probably pisses into a bag if he had stuff removed. You may very well join him in the use of bags one day.
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Aug 14, 2016 23:18
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Ralph Hurley posted:A place where I worked kept a can of scented spray in the bathroom. You're supposed to spray a little puff of it into the air after a bad poo poo as courtesy to the next person. (Personally I hate the smell of that stuff and don't think it does anything to neutralize odor just makes the bathroom smell like poo poo mixed with some gross fruity chemical). One time I go in to take a dump and when I sit down, the seat feels slippery. Some idiot had sprayed the stuff directly on the seat, covering the entire surface. I had loving springtime breeze potpourri scented rear end cheeks for the rest of the day. I like that they were more concerned with the note than with the employee leaving jizz in the toilet on a routine basis.
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Aug 14, 2016 23:22
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jattdb posted:Back in the 90s I worked for a terrible tech support call center. The owner was creepy and weird...we found all sorts of wonderful things when we got bored one graveyard shift and inventoried his computer. I just remembered another. I had a shipping lead that worked in my warehouse that ate only his moms food. It was really awesome Tijuana style food that was super hot. I miss it still. The thing is, he would eat roasted Jalapenos with everything. A bite of food, a bite of Jalapeno, a bite of food, a bite of Jalapeno. He'd also soak everything in Tapatio. Lots of refried beans. We actually had to make a rule that he was not to poo poo in the warehouse bathroom without giving everyone else a chance. Every time, there'd be poo poo on the outside of the toilet, on the walls, but not on the seat itself. We always assumed that he just took a good grip like the hold down bolts on the space shuttle and then just let fly. I did start insisting he clean up his own mess at least to a reasonable level before the cleaners made their pass.
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Aug 15, 2016 02:18
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Cartouche posted:Dude probably pisses into a bag if he had stuff removed. You may very well join him in the use of bags one day. Why would he empty it into the urinal though? And so quickly? Seems like a good way to cover himself in piss IMO.
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Aug 15, 2016 05:48
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Used to manage a small rural airport back when I was 17 and one of my duties was cleaning the facilities. The first time I had to clean the women's room I noticed a metal container on the wall marked "napkins". I had no idea what was really inside, I just wondered, "why the gently caress are women bringing napkins into the washroom. . . and why do they deserve their own special little trash can on the wall?". I opened the container to see if it needed emptying and right on top was a pad with what could best be described as a massive bloody oyster sitting right on top. After dry heaving, regaining my composure and cleaning it out, I went to the maintenance closet and retrieved a tube of JB weld. Never had to worry about the napkin dispenser again. Often the airport would be frequented by a plane that would fly patients to one of the larger cities for treatment. In one instance there was a guy that was strapped onto some sort of tray for flying in a plane that was laying on a stretcher (I guess the normal stretcher was too big for the plane). They were wheeling him through the airport on a stretcher when he announced that he had to pee. They wheeled the stretcher to the bathroom door, took him off on the tray, and took him into the bathroom. A few seconds later I hear, "oh my god, stop it, aaaaaahhhhHhhhHHhhh!". A few seconds later he was back on the stretcher and the two ambulance drivers were trying to stifle laughter. I asked the one what happened with the patient and the other driver were further away and he said that they stood the guy up to the urinal, still strapped in to the tray. They open up his hospital pants/robe and tell him to let loose. I guess a second or two into peeing he slid down in the tray and one of the straps pushed up on his pants and dick, and he was peeing straight into his chest. When he started yelling they tipped him back away from the urinal and the stream of piss was now arcing right in his face.
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Aug 15, 2016 06:54
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Today I found not one, but two, adult diapers soaked with blood in the "Napkin" bin. poo poo never happens but in the overweight stall.
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Aug 15, 2016 06:58
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Millie posted:It happened again yesterday. This is how I imagine the poop came out. It's like it didn't even touch the water, just mashed up against the back of the bowl: if you poo poo in space your turd arcs towards your back like a monkey's tail
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Aug 15, 2016 10:09
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A Stupid Baby posted:Why are you drawing scat porn of Lucy from Peanuts I drew a woman on a toilet eliminating her solid wastes. If you're seeing cartoon porn, that's on you, man. Pervert.
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Aug 15, 2016 12:39
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The expression of the poop woman is very serene. A dump we can all aspire to someday take. calmpoop.jpg
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Aug 15, 2016 12:47
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when i was in prison we had some absolutely horrific bathroom people. we were in a dorm setting and had a communal bathroom one guy we caught eating things like bananas and granola bars while taking a poo poo one guy lost so much weight that he wasnt able to really control his bowels and ended up accidentally making GBS threads on the floor in front of other people twice one guy was notorious for being a dirty gross rear end in a top hat who took the longest, loudest messiest shits. one week he disappeared for a few days. when he came back he casually mentioned that he had been at medical. turns out he had a staph infection and the outbreak was on his lower back.............right about where it would rest on the back of the toilet seats
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Aug 15, 2016 13:33
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When I worked as a dishwasher at Bubba Gump Shrimp co. our deep sink in the kitchen got clogged up with crab husks and we had to convert one of the customer restrooms to kitchen duty. The waiters just brought me stack after stack of filthy plates and I had to scrape the uneaten food into the toilet then wash the dishes with hand soap under the weak-rear end faucet and then dry them with paper towels. It was the worst week of my life because we'd run out of clean plates within like two seating cycles and then I've got everyone in the kitchen waiting on me to wash one dish at a time so they can serve the next party. The worst was when it was time to clean the pots and pans because they didn't fit in the sink at all and I had to fill glasses of water and dump them into the pot to get them wet.
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Aug 15, 2016 14:21
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Back when I worked data entry for Southern Telcom, the washroom on the fourth floor was notorious for being a hook-up spot for employees in sexual relationships. It was super gross and I always used the third floor bathroom if I could get away with it.
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Aug 15, 2016 14:26
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| # ? May 3, 2024 19:50 |
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Ryoshi posted:This wasn't my workplace, but it was somebody's, and this story needs to be told. Everything I'm about to tell you is 100% true. 
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Aug 15, 2016 15:09
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