tips for the newly deceased

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google THIS

if the gods sentence you to an eternity of torment or hard labor you can usually cut that in half with good behavior

# ? Sep 6, 2016 15:38

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# ? May 5, 2024 11:07

deep dish peat moss

First take a deep breath, you've survived everything before and you'll survive this too.

# ? Sep 7, 2016 03:47

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Oh. I thought the thread title said "newly diseased." I guess, um, I guess I'll be leaving.

# ? Sep 7, 2016 06:17

Business Gorillas

You know how in life you worked all the time and had a coffee mug on it that said "ILL SLEEP WHEN IM DEAD!!!

"

Sorry to break it to you but once you're raised from the grave by a necromancer you're probably going to work in the skeleton mines for all eternity

# ? Sep 8, 2016 16:09

social vegan

*settles into bed, takes off halo and stores it in an empty cd-r stack container before lights out*

# ? Sep 8, 2016 17:42

Rags to Liches: future skeleton soldier

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

Oh. I thought the thread title said "newly diseased." I guess, um, I guess I'll be leaving.

Give it some time, you might join us!

# ? Sep 8, 2016 17:50

social vegan

*pushes harp down on block of cheese, evenly cutting multiple slices in only a fraction of the time*

# ? Sep 8, 2016 17:56

Barking Gecko: Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

Charon doesn't take credit cards. You have to pay in cash.
All fares quoted are one way only.
No carry on items, and your checked bag allowance is zero.
Enjoy your trip, and thank you for choosing Stygian Ferry Systems.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 18:33

Senior Management

Business Gorillas posted:

You know how in life you worked all the time and had a coffee mug on it that said "ILL SLEEP WHEN IM DEAD!!! "

Sorry to break it to you but once you're raised from the grave by a necromancer you're probably going to work in the skeleton mines for all eternity

Are we talking about the mines operated by skeletons or the mines that are for digging up skeletons?

:jerry:

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:01

google THIS

Vynar posted:

Are we talking about the mines operated by skeletons or the mines that are for digging up skeletons?

yes

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:18

poverty goat

You have to mine more skeletons if you want to mine more skeletons. It's basic skeletonomics

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:53

Scaly Haylie

i would hope the skeletons are provided with daily milk and other dairy products to keep their everything strong

# ? Sep 8, 2016 22:43

google THIS

unfortunately unionization hasn't helped undead workers as much as one might hope. The skeleton unions are spineless and the ghost unions lack transparency

# ? Sep 8, 2016 23:22

social vegan

cut the stems off your onions and plant them in the ground and they will grow back

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:03

Rags to Liches: future skeleton soldier

Barking Gecko posted:

Charon doesn't take credit cards. You have to pay in cash.
All fares quoted are one way only.
No carry on items, and your checked bag allowance is zero.
Enjoy your trip, and thank you for choosing Stygian Ferry Systems.

Exact change only, please.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 07:50

Stool Sample: EVERYONE Poops!?

hang out on college campuses and get free learning forever

you can get a ghost degree

# ? Sep 9, 2016 08:31

Rags to Liches: future skeleton soldier

Stool Sample posted:

hang out on college campuses and get free learning forever

you can get a ghost degree

And you can play sick pranks on the Ghost Hunters people when they come to investigate the haunted house on Fraternity Row.

# ? Sep 12, 2016 14:32

Android Blues

google THIS posted:

unfortunately unionization hasn't helped undead workers as much as one might hope. The skeleton unions are spineless and the ghost unions lack transparency

not to mention the vampire union, which is riddled with scabs

# ? Sep 12, 2016 21:11

Golden Gate Bride: knife to meet you

Change your bedsheet at least every other day

# ? Sep 12, 2016 21:14

Munchables: Ask/tell me about legal cannibalism

Android Blues posted:

not to mention the vampire union, which is riddled with scabs

# ? Sep 12, 2016 21:21

Business Gorillas

If you're at the UN (Undead Nations) as part of the British delegation and see your mom, don't shout the word "Mummy!". The Egyptian delegation will get horribly offended. It's 2016 and they prefer the term Preserved-Egyptians.

# ? Sep 12, 2016 21:32

Business Gorillas

Don't introduce the Italian chapter of the Catacomb Union to the Romanian delegation their garlic breath could cause an international incident.

# ? Sep 12, 2016 21:34

Business Gorillas

You can't start a cult of ancestor worship with your descendants. Your living kin need to do that on their own. If you try and start it yourself it's going to look really gauche and the other ancestor gods won't take you seriously

# ? Sep 12, 2016 21:38

Senior Management

Ghosts can't poop so make sure you finish up before you die

:jerry:

# ? Sep 12, 2016 22:06

google THIS

there's no need to fret if you die by going back in time and inadvertently preventing your own birth. you'll have one of the most interesting afterlives available. hitting unmovable objects with unstoppable forces, competing in unwinnable footraces against tortoises who get a head start, and best of all, eating lots of fatty french food without ever gaining weight

# ? Sep 12, 2016 23:28

Tebulot: im hip now bois

google THIS posted:

unfortunately unionization hasn't helped undead workers as much as one might hope. The skeleton unions are spineless and the ghost unions lack transparency

# ? Sep 13, 2016 02:03