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I've had my dog for years. He's such a good boy most of the time but no matter how much training and obedience classes we take together there's still some mishaps: -Tried to frame me for murder back in 08 -Robbed three banks and led cops on a high speed chase -Pretended to be a seeing eye dog to lure the elderly into traffic -Ran an illegal hotel for dogs in my basement. -Keeps begging for a treat despite having just consumed a treat -takes the newspaper into the bathroom before I've had a chance to read it -always takes the last slice of pizza even though he never pays for it |
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Oct 2, 2016 05:49
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| # ? May 13, 2024 21:36 |
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Ride The Gravitron posted:-always takes the last slice of pizza even though he never pays for it This. Also: My dog used to be fun to drink with, but lately he'll "accidentally" take a swig of my beer right after cleaning himself. Then he's all, "haha sorry, guess I have to drink this one too!" Jerkface heckdog |
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Oct 2, 2016 06:02
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mortgages and poison
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Oct 2, 2016 09:33
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Some dogs are just born with the evil in them |
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Oct 2, 2016 16:42
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power, wealth, women |
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Oct 2, 2016 17:30
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Ride The Gravitron posted:I've had my dog for years. He's such a good boy most of the time but no matter how much training and obedience classes we take together there's still some mishaps: encouragement is love expressed with the right attitude dogs love it when you just give them a chance
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Oct 2, 2016 17:31
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my dog's outdated views on race and gender frankly makes me glad he's not allowed to vote |
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Oct 2, 2016 17:32
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"Dogs suck and they're not good" - kurt cobain |
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Oct 2, 2016 22:07
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Doghouse posted:"Dogs suck and they're not good" - kurt cobain :/
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Oct 2, 2016 23:04
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I asked my dog to post on my behalf since he always claims that his posts are good and well-thought. He doesn't do it though, he lured me into having hopes and now doesn't do anything.
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Oct 2, 2016 23:52
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sometimes you leave them on the counter for too long instead of refrigerating them
Apparently I'm #1 Kotori fan |
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Oct 2, 2016 23:52
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rabies sometimes
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Oct 3, 2016 01:45
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Michael Vick
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Oct 3, 2016 01:57
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this is why https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouqDDpE7Ing
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Oct 3, 2016 01:58
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improper storage and humidity control
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Oct 3, 2016 02:17
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Doghouse posted:"Dogs suck and they're not good" - kurt cobain well im glad courtney love killed him |
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Oct 3, 2016 03:54
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Piso Mojado posted:improper storage and humidity control
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Oct 3, 2016 04:32
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Piso Mojado posted:improper storage and humidity control ah, is that what doggie bags are for? |
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Oct 3, 2016 13:42
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My dog is cool and owns and his name is Rufus but he hates flip flops and will not let me have a pair without shredding them
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Oct 3, 2016 14:13
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let himself out confusing the baha men for decades |
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Oct 3, 2016 16:13
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SnoopDog is a bad influence on dogs. He should be euthanized.
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Oct 3, 2016 16:29
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<3 
<3 Vanisher |
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WHOA hold up just a second
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Oct 3, 2016 16:51
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lol ---------------- |
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Oct 3, 2016 17:14
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me: *gets home to find my apartment in shambles, everything I love piled up in the middle of the living room* H-how could you do this? dog: *leaning against wall and drawing sunglasses down the bridge of his nose which is probably too short to sustain this kind of action* Oh you haven't heard *strikes a match against the wall* we all go to heaven |
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Oct 3, 2016 17:19
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i'd forgotten about this
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Oct 3, 2016 17:21
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social vegan posted:me: *gets home to find my apartment in shambles, everything I love piled up in the middle of the living room* H-how could you do this? |
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Oct 3, 2016 20:04
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i had a dog once in my last relationship she broke in to a closed cupboard and bit in to/ drank 4 red bulls she then proceeded to destroy all of the furniture in my house my ex ended up giving the dog to her sexist, racist parents. JUSTICE ---------------- |
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Oct 3, 2016 20:15
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Nobnob posted:I asked my dog to post on my behalf since he always claims that his posts are good and well-thought. He doesn't do it though, he lured me into having hopes and now doesn't do anything. its a dog eat post world
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Oct 3, 2016 21:57
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Darkman Fanpage posted:well im glad courtney love killed him that's just what the illumipawti wants you to think 🐕  🐕
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Oct 4, 2016 01:16
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Me: who's a good boy? Dog: woof Editors note: woof means "I would probably be a good boy, if my father hadn't left when I was just a pup and I had to be raised by my bitch of a mother. I think deep down that's why I act out. I wouldn't chew off the leg of the table if I had my old man to chew me out a little." |
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Oct 4, 2016 16:30
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So about a month ago me and my girl stepped it up and she moved in with me. Last night I got home from work and there he was all cuddled up to her on the couch. I pulled him aside and told him that was not cool but all he said was "I'm not sorry for having game"
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Oct 5, 2016 05:09
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in my experience it's often peer pressure when my dog was just a pup he was a perfect angel - straight A student, involved with church and the community, never said a bad word about anyone or anything. then he started hanging out with those ruffians - he insisted they were all good dogs despite their leather jackets and piercings, and said I was being judgmental based on their appearance so I let it go. two weeks later i caught him smoking cigarettes with them out by a dumpster, talking about pornography and onanism. it's just the sad facts of life in this doggie dog world |
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Oct 5, 2016 15:59
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Oct 5, 2016 18:13
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insufficient pets |
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Oct 5, 2016 21:00
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| the last generation of dogs really badly screwed the dog house market and a lot are having to move back in with their parents so in some ways their anger is understandable | |
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Oct 6, 2016 09:17
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| turned out my dog had a serious beggin strip habit and was pawning my stuff to pay for it. checked himself into rehab and he's 3 years sober, really proud of him for turning things around | |
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Oct 6, 2016 09:18
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garbage owl posted:turned out my dog had a serious beggin strip habit and was pawning my stuff to pay for it. checked himself into rehab and he's 3 years sober, really proud of him for turning things around that nightc they turned from beggin strips to takin strips |
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Oct 6, 2016 10:40
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| # ? May 13, 2024 21:36 |
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garbage owl posted:the last generation of dogs really badly screwed the dog house market and a lot are having to move back in with their parents so in some ways their anger is understandable It's true |
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Oct 9, 2016 14:36
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