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Cumslut1895
Feb 18, 2015

by FactsAreUseless
So I'm currently on the run from trumps death squads, anyone got any cool tips for keeping warm without drawing any attention?

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Gwamp
Apr 18, 2003

Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo,
Burn an American flag for heat just prior to the arrival of the death squads.

SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Find a hairy man, skin him and wear his hide. Chant racist slogans to blend in with the crowd.

Free Market Mambo
Jul 26, 2010

by Lowtax
Make a coolie hat from peat and move from man-depth hole to man-depth hole, steadily crossing the countryside like a disenfranchised trapdoor spider :spiderguy:

meselfs
Sep 26, 2015

The body may die, but the soul is always rotten
If you can drive a VW, use it to go to the forest and haul the engine block with you. It's made of magnesium and burns very hot, though you'll need a torch and file to start it going.

Some Canon cameras and IBM/Lenovo computers are magnesium too.

Free Market Mambo
Jul 26, 2010

by Lowtax
Often, pencil sharpeners are made of magnesium.

Better take an engine block to be safe though.

Free Market Mambo
Jul 26, 2010

by Lowtax
Use a laser pointer to call aircraft/hellfire missles to your location.

Free Market Mambo
Jul 26, 2010

by Lowtax
Lower your bodytemp to that of the surrounding environment by transfusing your hot mammal blood with that of the noble reptile.

Anoles seem to be best bang for the buck. Get juicing.

b0ner of doom
Mar 17, 2006
offer to suck them off

meselfs
Sep 26, 2015

The body may die, but the soul is always rotten
But you wanted nondescript options, I forgot. Nevermind the magnesium, it burns too bright.

Heating is scarce in the woods, so all your heat has to come from you. Warm clothes help you retain heat, but you must be heat's creator. So! Move to Candia, catch Candian geese, and wear them. Catching them will be exhausting, giving you heat, and the geese's feathers are the world's best insulators, keeping that heat in. If you can wear the geese and also keep them alive, they will oil themselves so getting wet (common problem with goosefeather clothing) won't be an issue.

Alternative: Trump will likely axe volcano observatories. With the volcanoes unmonitored against pesky heat-stealers, you should have no problem sitting in a crater and letting the earth warm you.

Kangra
May 7, 2012

These tips always come in handy for me when trying to avoid death squads:

Walk right on by like you haven't done anything.
Act confused, like you didn't notice the automatic rifles in their hands and the fortified checkpoint.
Don't flirt with the cute one. She might like it but it makes the guys around her nervous.
If you're in a foreign country, be light-skinned (preferably of European descent). <-- Also works in domestic countries.

Free Market Mambo
Jul 26, 2010

by Lowtax
Fly casual.

Intrinsic Field Marshal
Sep 6, 2014

by SA Support Robot
Rare Pepes are a valid commodity on the same value as Gold

SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Start watching Les Stroud videos yesterday. The alt-right won't go into the forest to look for you. There's no Mountain Dew in the actual mountains.

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Epitope
Nov 27, 2006

Grimey Drawer
I feel like the main issue with the whole prepper thing (other than it just being an excuse for spending more money on crap you don't need) is i don't see them talk about organizing. If the revolution comes, or the EMP goes off or whatever, maybe you live your fantasy of mad max for a few months, but then what? You gotta have a squad, and your squad's gotta connect with others or its just hermitage.

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