An orgasm is the most alright a person can feel

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > An orgasm is the most alright a person can feel

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Manifisto

we are mostly inhuman. some 90% of cells in the human body are bacterial, fungal, or otherwise non-human. the human gut alone contains on average 100 trillion microbial cells. we are using only the tiniest fraction of our orgasm capability. it's time for the biggest simu-cum project the world has ever seen.

# ? Nov 17, 2016 18:17

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 16:22

Manifisto

Manifisto posted:

we are mostly inhuman. some 90% of cells in the human body are bacterial, fungal, or otherwise non-human. the human gut alone contains on average 100 trillion microbial cells. we are using only the tiniest fraction of our orgasm capability. it's time for the biggest simu-cum project the world has ever seen.

or maybe the bugs are just constantly loving and cumming and we're being left out? if so, time to step up our game, orgasmailures.

# ? Nov 17, 2016 18:19

Bo-Pepper: Want some rye?
Course ya do!

I sing the body orgasmic,
The armies of those that cum engirth me and I engirth them,
They will not get me off till I go with them, respond to them,
And discorrupt them, and charge them full with the charge of my pole.

# ? Nov 17, 2016 18:27

Manifisto

Bo-Pepper posted:

I sing the body orgasmic,
The armies of those that cum engirth me and I engirth them,
They will not get me off till I go with them, respond to them,
And discorrupt them, and charge them full with the charge of my pole.

# ? Nov 17, 2016 18:36

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

Obi-Wan: I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

Luke: *exits the spaceship bathroom after throwing a crumpled tissue into the space toilet, a guilty look on his face* What? Ben? HOW DO YOU ALWAYS KNOW WHEN I'M MASTURBATING!?

# ? Nov 17, 2016 19:06

Manifisto

Luvcow posted:

Obi-Wan: I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

Luke: *exits the spaceship bathroom after throwing a crumpled tissue into the space toilet, a guilty look on his face* What? Ben? HOW DO YOU ALWAYS KNOW WHEN I'M MASTURBATING!?

lol

# ? Nov 17, 2016 19:34

Kthulhu5000: by R. Guyovich

Luvcow posted:

Obi-Wan: I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

Luke: *exits the spaceship bathroom after throwing a crumpled tissue into the space toilet, a guilty look on his face* What? Ben? HOW DO YOU ALWAYS KNOW WHEN I'M MASTURBATING!?

what if like...OK, hear me out here...

What if midichlorians were, like, a bunch of literal space panspermia or whatever from constant male Jedi orgasms all over the place, floating through the galaxy and making new generations of Jedi? It would preserve the allure of the Force, since those would have to be some pretty hardy wigglers to survive all that, and I think we could find their voyage and struggles very inspiring. Maybe even genuinely moving!

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# ? Nov 17, 2016 23:50

Farecoal: There he go

a girl in my 7th grade biology class once said orgasm instead of organism and everyone laughed

i was just glad they weren't laughing at me

# ? Nov 18, 2016 03:39

A Spider Covets

Farecoal posted:

a girl in my 7th grade biology class once said orgasm instead of organism and everyone laughed

i was just glad they weren't laughing at me

this was probably me

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Nov 18, 2016 03:54

Gatekeeper: He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

me: *lighting two cigarettes, passes one to her* "hmm that was kinda neat"
her: *puffs* "...i mean, sure."

# ? Nov 18, 2016 07:08

Relevant Tangent: Tangentially Relevant

I fake all my orgasms, don't want to let myself down.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 08:07

Senior Management

I always locally source and when I have time grow my own. The freshness is worth it.

:jerry:

# ? Nov 18, 2016 10:54

alnilam

Bo-Pepper posted:

I sing the body orgasmic,
The armies of those that cum engirth me and I engirth them,
They will not get me off till I go with them, respond to them,
And discorrupt them, and charge them full with the charge of my pole.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 13:14

alnilam

me, mid-orgasm: "hmm, feel pretty dece rn"

# ? Nov 18, 2016 13:15

social vegan

"my favourite orgasm? Hmm maybe Shrek? Oh, I uh I guess I don't understand the question"

# ? Nov 18, 2016 20:51

Farecoal: There he go

no that's a pretty good answer

# ? Nov 18, 2016 22:09

Gatekeeper: He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

if orgasms were a painting mine would all be by thomas kinkade

# ? Nov 19, 2016 00:56

Gatekeeper: He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

alternately if orgasms were poems mine would all be by maya angelou

# ? Nov 19, 2016 00:57

byob historian: I'm an animal abusing piece of shit! I deliberately poisoned my dog to death and think it's funny! I'm an irredeemable sack of human shit!