There is no God but Computer, and Steve is His prophet.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > There is no God but Computer, and Steve is His prophet.

angry_keebler: Jul 16, 2006; In His presence the mountains quake and the hills melt away; the earth trembles and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before His fierce anger?

that's right, there's some good .news and here it is: all you have to do is live by the example of Steve and your salvation is assured through the good grace of Computer

but do not be deceived by the false steves, who prowl like trojan bootdisks seeing whom they may reformat, for they seek to condemn you to an eternity of separation from the one true Computer

so be on guard against (computer)wickedness at all times and obey the teachings of the one true Steve

angry_keebler fucked around with this message at 20:22 on Nov 22, 2016

# ? Nov 22, 2016 20:19

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# ? May 7, 2024 14:11

Radio Paranoia: Jun 27, 2010; It is now safe to turn off your computer.

if he's such a good prophet why is he dead?

# ? Nov 22, 2016 20:33

Cat Face Joe: Feb 20, 2005; goth vegan crossfit mom who vapes

so fruit juice enemas guarantee eternal salvation?

# ? Nov 22, 2016 21:14

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

What does that make Tim Cook?

# ? Nov 22, 2016 21:24

Migishu: Oct 22, 2005; I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful; Grimey Drawer

Ummmm, actually, it's the Word of Woz that's holy and sacred, tia

# ? Nov 22, 2016 22:26

Radio Paranoia: Jun 27, 2010; It is now safe to turn off your computer.

Migishu posted:

Ummmm, actually, it's the Word of Woz that's holy and sacred, tia

forever and ever amen

# ? Nov 22, 2016 22:45

George: Nov 27, 2004; No love for your made-up things.

Radio Paranoia posted:

if he's such a good prophet why is he dead?

he isn't tho

# ? Nov 23, 2016 07:13

Alzabo: Oct 23, 2002; You watched it, you can't unwatch it.

George posted:

he isn't tho

if you get to believe this, then im gonna keep on believin that Roddy Piper is still out there somewhere

# ? Nov 23, 2016 08:20

George: Nov 27, 2004; No love for your made-up things.

Alzabo posted:

if you get to believe this, then im gonna keep on believin that Roddy Piper is still out there somewhere

piper your angus brudda

# ? Nov 23, 2016 08:58

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Don't fear the Reiser

# ? Nov 23, 2016 18:47

angry_keebler: Jul 16, 2006; In His presence the mountains quake and the hills melt away; the earth trembles and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before His fierce anger?

when i started this thread i knew there would be some heretics boasting about the greatness of one false steve or another, but i didn't expect every single poster to have been corrupted by one of the many destevers :mad:

i can only hope that you all turn away from the path of wickedness and begin to follow the correct path of the teachings of the one true Steve

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:46

PleasingFungus: Oct 10, 2012; idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off

only steve (stebe) is a true bootdisattva. 'if you see a woz on the information superhighway, kill -9 %him'

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:54

pram: Jun 10, 2001

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIWk8YsLZgE

# ? Nov 27, 2016 11:09

Migishu: Oct 22, 2005; I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful; Grimey Drawer

Captain Foo posted:

Don't fear the Reiser

# ? Nov 27, 2016 17:31

echinopsis: Apr 13, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

Citizen Tayne posted:

What does that make Tim Cook?

the jesus

# ? Nov 27, 2016 19:24

angry_keebler: Jul 16, 2006; In His presence the mountains quake and the hills melt away; the earth trembles and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before His fierce anger?

PleasingFungus posted:

only steve (stebe) is a true bootdisattva. 'if you see a woz on the information superhighway, kill -9 %him'

# ? Nov 27, 2016 19:49

pram: Jun 10, 2001

# ? Nov 27, 2016 21:11

Stymie: Jan 9, 2001; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

actually there is one true God Who Art In Heaven, Gunpei Yokoi, as revealed by His Prophet On Earth, Shigeru Miyamoto (pbuh)

# ? Nov 27, 2016 21:42

carry on then: Jul 10, 2010; by VideoGames
(and can't post for 10 years!)

actually, the true steve is among us today

# ? Nov 27, 2016 23:44

Migishu: Oct 22, 2005; I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful; Grimey Drawer

carry on then posted:

actually, the true steve is among us today

# ? Nov 28, 2016 04:32

pram: Jun 10, 2001

carry on then posted:

actually, the true steve is among us today

high energy!

# ? Nov 28, 2016 04:44

Migishu: Oct 22, 2005; I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful; Grimey Drawer

someone get that bible camp gif but change it to Steve Ballmers face on every kid tia

# ? Nov 28, 2016 05:06

Wrath of the Bitch King: May 11, 2005; Research confirms that black is a color like silver is a color, and that beyond black is clarity.

Steve Ballmer could kick the rear end of everyone in YOSPOS.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 05:10

angry_keebler: Jul 16, 2006; In His presence the mountains quake and the hills melt away; the earth trembles and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before His fierce anger?

Wrath of the Bitch King posted:

Steve Ballmer could kick the rear end of everyone in YOSPOS.

another false steve, with a corrupted theology that tells the faithful they cannot access Computer without first paying indulgences to developers, developers, developers, developers

# ? Nov 28, 2016 21:12

Moo Cowabunga: Jun 15, 2009; [Office Worker.

Steve jobs died in 2011.

# ? Nov 29, 2016 08:05

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Displeased Moo Cow posted:

Apple died in 2011.

# ? Nov 29, 2016 14:55

Migishu: Oct 22, 2005; I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful; Grimey Drawer

Citizen Tayne posted:

apple died way earlier than that, people just didn't notice it until stebe died

# ? Nov 29, 2016 16:59

Maximum Leader: Dec 5, 2014

jobs was a con man who got lucky

# ? Dec 11, 2016 16:51

Asymmetric POSTer: Aug 17, 2005

Maximum Leader posted:

jobs was a con man who got lucky

don't post about trump

# ? Dec 11, 2016 17:07

Pozload Escobar: Aug 21, 2016; by Reene

Citizen Tayne posted:

What does that make Tim Cook?

doesn't he also take fruit juice in his bum?

# ? Dec 11, 2016 17:34

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# ? May 7, 2024 14:11

angry_keebler: Jul 16, 2006; In His presence the mountains quake and the hills melt away; the earth trembles and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before His fierce anger?

The One True Steve (pc be upon Him)

# ? Dec 13, 2016 03:27

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > There is no God but Computer, and Steve is His prophet.