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Grip it and rip it
Apr 28, 2020

Deus Ex Macklemore posted:

Choose your rate, choose your fate Nu Nu.


But seriously, I could not have gotten through power school as a young, alcoholic dipshit so I have some respect for all you science hippies that did.

That said, it did suck to hear repeatedly how much dumber us coners were. I did feel bad watching you guys hook up shore power while we were going on liberty. So being dumb has it's advantages.

One of my best friends on Augusta was a nuke that had the worst military bearing I've ever seen. He was a great guy. He used to write poo poo on the TP rolls in middle level head, all negative about nukes, but full of misspellings. It was hilarious.

i wish I had been smart enough to drop out of powerschool

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Elviscat
Jan 1, 2008

Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

Grip it and rip it posted:

i wish I had been smart enough to drop out of powerschool

I remember pulling in because Nav Div poo poo broke, and watching them walk off the boat right after trash off, because they can't fix their own poo poo and need contractors to do it. We were stuck standing underway watch rotation because they wanted us underway the second it was fixed and wouldn't let us shut down.

Fangthane
May 16, 2007
Be true, Unbeliever.

Mr. Bad Guy posted:

edit: This is not an interesting post, but for some reason the forums are the only website that will load for me right now, so instead of talking to my wife I'm talking to you goons.

The other day my Chief calls me from CIC, where he's on watch. Tells me I need to get on a SIPR computer, someone's trying to get a hold of me on chat. Turns out it's a buddy of mine on the John Finn. He's mad that my broken-rear end ship is a month behind schedule and it's directly delaying his strike group's return date, lol.

We met at MEPS when both of our paperwork got misplaced, and we hit it off immediately. We were both married young, AECF, ended up in the same division in boot camp, both got FC, same barracks at TSC back when there was a terrible bottleneck at A school so we spend almost two years in Great Lakes. We were live-ashore though since we were married, and we lived in the same apartments in Gurnee. Our wives got along great, too! Then we went off to the fleet, completely different directions, me a Tomahawker, him a SSDS guy. We've kept in touch throughout the years, but we've never been stationed in the same place since then. I don't think I've actually seen him in almost ten years but he's still my bro.

Thing is, we could not be more dissimilar. I'm a pale, thin, nerdy ADHD-riddled piece of human garbage. He looks like a Mexican Johnny Bravo, but he's sharp as a tack, hard-working, responsible. My complete opposite in nearly every way.

AAAAAAANYWAYS, mother fucker's up for Master Chief this year and wants to know why I'm still an E-6, lmao. I hit him with that "Well, you see Senior Chief, what had happened was..."

It was nice to catch up with him though, his family's doing well, and he's rooting for me, the idealistic fool.

Rare to find another self admitted TLAM tech. But fun to find in the wild. Also only made it as far as E6 before bouncing out to find greener pastures what weren't so green. No point to this either except to recognize another fellow of the trade.

Grip it and rip it
Apr 28, 2020

Elviscat posted:

I remember pulling in because Nav Div poo poo broke, and watching them walk off the boat right after trash off, because they can't fix their own poo poo and need contractors to do it. We were stuck standing underway watch rotation because they wanted us underway the second it was fixed and wouldn't let us shut down.

E-Div should be entitled to chose one sailor per quarter to keelhaul, up to the EDMC.

Nick Soapdish
Apr 27, 2008


https://www.duffelblog.com/p/chief-reprimanded-for-professional-and-appropriate-relationship-with-junior-sailor

:chiefsay: Sensible Chuckle dot gif

maffew buildings
Apr 29, 2009

too dumb to be probated; not too dumb to be autobanned
one time on deployment a Chief Select was drinking with junior sailors and offering "mentoring" in their barracks, a thing they had been doing all deployment to that point, but it was getting real bad. the first class OOD tried to get him out of there and was told some not nice things, so the first class went to the Chief's Mess and told them "hey, know I'm not supposed to be here, but you need to get your boy".

yes the Chief's did hold a grudge against this first class and gently caress with him for the rest of his time in the unit

Serjeant Buzfuz
Dec 5, 2009

#justcpothings

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Deus Ex Macklemore
Jul 2, 2004


Zelensky's Zealots
Hazing season stories? Here's one that's kind of long but I think it pays off at the end.

On my first ship (LST 1197) I was a mouthy, angry, alcoholic rear end in a top hat. I didn't want to be on a skimmer, much less that piece of poo poo. When my crank time came up, I ran straight into a giant piece of poo poo First Class MS (now CS). He and I didn't like each other at all. One day he said, "SN Deus Ex, you don't work." I later told the chief that I took that as a direct order so I went to the berthing. Anyway the SUPPO was a good dude and for whatever reason he liked me so I spent most of my time cranking in the Wardroom, which was fantastic. The entire time I was in the Wardroom, MS1 kept having it out for me. He didn't do himself any favors either though. We pulled into Barnstable Mass, where the ship was named for, and one of the officers came back from a diving trip with live lobsters. I had never seen a live lobster, having grown up fairly poor in South Dakota, so I was impressed to see them. The Dept Head that got them thought it was fantastic that I had never seen one so he told me to take them down to the crews mess and have duty cook (yup, MS1) boil them up. In exchange, he was to keep one of them. Well that dipshit kept the biggest one, so the Dept Head went down, chewed his rear end and took it back. Which of course, was all my fault somehow. I got over it by eating lobster in the wardroom with a bunch of zeros teaching me how to do it. You might think that this is all beside the point, but it made MS1 so much angrier towards me.

Well, SUPPO transferred and the new one was pretty junior, so when the MS1 approached him telling him how much of a fuckup I was and that I needed to go back to Crew's Mess, he agreed. He actually told me that my rear end was going to be his, starting at 0500 the next morning.

I showed up at 0500 and started wiping down the tables. At approximately 0510 the Command Master Chief came into the mess with one of the guys who was cranking in the CPO mess. CMC grabbed me, told MS1 I was in the CPO mess from now on and that was it, spent the rest of my time there.

What had happened was that the other crank walked into the CPO mess while they were "transitioning" a selectee from another ship by hanging him from the overhead with a noose. I guess the thought process was to protect the other crank from reprisal while everything got swept under the rug. Kid really hosed up though, he should have requested the wardroom because the other crank and I had a stateroom we could hang out in between meals so that we were out of the way but still close by if anyone needed anything.

Anywell, that was back in 1991. Thanks for listening to my Sea Story, presented by AARP

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