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Nosfereefer posted:BREAKING: 17 stabbed to death by gordon ramsey. police claims turkey was "slightly dry". Erdogan, after signing drought relief bill: "I'll say!" *all laugh, zoom out* |
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Jan 10, 2017 20:57
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| # ? Apr 16, 2024 05:47 |
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looks more like beef well-i'm-done to me good day |
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Jan 11, 2017 18:33
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we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, will I eat this disgusting over-cooked sea bass slams fist down onto fish smooshing it |
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Jan 11, 2017 21:48
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Gordon Ramsey: THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST TRIPE I HAVE EVER ALLOWED MY GAG REFLEX TO REJECT! Gordon Ramsey's Mom: Piss off, ya unappreciative GIT! https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jan 12, 2017 14:38
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"if this going to be that kind of party, I might stick my dick in the mashed potatoes!"
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Jan 12, 2017 14:44
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*EXCUSE ME* Could you taste this dish for me? Yes, not very appetizing is it now? No I'll be finished with it if you are then...send it back! ... ... CAT FOOD |
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Jan 12, 2017 16:16
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social vegan posted:
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Jan 12, 2017 18:57
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"wow this is good can't believe it was cooked in a toilet, wow!"
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Jan 12, 2017 19:55
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gordon ramsey's friend: heh nice, I've heard about this, the steam in the dishwasher is warm enough to cook the salmon you put inside gordon: *slaps back of friend's head* what are you talking about I'm just washing the salmon you nonce |
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Jan 12, 2017 20:28
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social vegan posted:gordon ramsey's friend: heh nice, I've heard about this, the steam in the dishwasher is warm enough to cook the salmon you put inside |
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Jan 12, 2017 20:32
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*samples boiling pepsi* "RAAW"
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Jan 12, 2017 21:28
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*spitting vinaigrette-covered lettuce out of his mouth onto his smock* disgusting, ugh, disgusting, what is this, sour, acidic, why! *unscrews bottle of pepsi, sprinkles liberal amount over salad* this is what you want in a salad dressing. sweet... fizzy... that's what you want, you understand? Mmm. *takes swig of pepsi* |
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Jan 12, 2017 22:48
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*gordon ramsay munching on some indeterminate food* "mmm, this is flawless. the consistence, the flavour. cooked to perfection." *camera zooms out, showing it to be dog food* |
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Jan 12, 2017 23:17
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ramsay's honor is on the line as a contestant on iron chef japan. he is confident, cocky even, as he selects iron chef morimoto as his opponent. but then chairman kaga names the secret ingredient: "dokteru . . . pepperu!" ramsay's face whitens and the knife slips from his fingers. morimoto smirks and turns to his workstation. allez cuisine, indeed. |
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Jan 12, 2017 23:22
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Ahundredbux posted:*samples boiling pepsi* joke_explainer posted:*spitting vinaigrette-covered lettuce out of his mouth onto his smock* disgusting, ugh, disgusting, what is this, sour, acidic, why! *unscrews bottle of pepsi, sprinkles liberal amount over salad* this is what you want in a salad dressing. sweet... fizzy... that's what you want, you understand? Mmm. *takes swig of pepsi* Manifisto posted:ramsay's honor is on the line as a contestant on iron chef japan. he is confident, cocky even, as he selects iron chef morimoto as his opponent. but then chairman kaga names the secret ingredient: |
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Jan 12, 2017 23:32
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"the secret of the perfect steak? ketchup. just smear that all over it, until there's nothing left but savoury, ketchupy flavour" |
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Jan 13, 2017 00:35
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ramsey takes a bite of the dish: "This mackerel is RAW!!! *music* Narrator: "The chefs disappoint yet again. Will they serve dinner on time?... Stay tuned." *commercial break* Narrator: "Chef Ramsey critiques the contestant's food", "This mackerel is RAW!! IT'S LIKE IT JUST HOPPED INTO MY FISHING BOAT!! IF YOU ELECTROCUTED THIS MACKEREL IT WOULD HOP AROUND! Which, to be perfectly honest with you, IS GOOD. This is the sashimi challenge. If you cooked your fish, that would have been a major misstep. Good job. Excellent work." |
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Jan 13, 2017 00:38
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Narrator: Contestant George couldn't find flat noodles for lasagna in the pantry, but with only 15 minutes left in the lasagna challenge, he made a desperate improvisation: Flat wooden shavings from the kitchen counter. *tense music* Chef Ramsey sampling dish: "You're telling me... you couldn't find noodles... so you made noodles from wood chips? You're feeding me wood chips right now? A total moron..." *knife clinks the plate, music comes to a beat, close-up of tense chef's face. "Is the opposite of what you are. Because I love it. Innovative. High-fiber. Truly delicious. That's the kind of never give up attitude that will take you far in the culinary world." *splinters and sawdust fly as he continues to chow down* |
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Jan 13, 2017 00:43
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Nosfereefer posted:"the secret of the perfect steak? ketchup. just smear that all over it, until there's nothing left but savoury, ketchupy flavour" well, you mean ketchup and pepsi, of course? though I understand leaving it off, we don't say 'the perfect steak and the seasoning on the steak' |
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Jan 13, 2017 00:44
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"Hey, Gordo my dawg I gotta tell ya I hosed up this steak its all gross now I cooked it dumb and I'm stupid I guess. " Gordo - "Well I'm gay". |
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Jan 13, 2017 05:30
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7-year-old: "Here's my grilled cheese Mr. Gordon!" Gordon Ramsay: "This is fantastic! Marvelous work. Pouring ketchup all around it though, what's that all about?" 7 y/o: "It says 'cooking makes me feel happy' if you look at it the right way!" GR: *Turns plate around * "oh goodness, it does!"  ----- 40 y/o master chef: "I spent over half of my life perfecting this grilled cheese recipe. You'll find no other grilled cheese th-" *Gordon Ramsay picks up the plate and hurls it off camera* GR: "You call THAT perfection!? There are literal CHILDREN who put your bastard cheese orgy to shame" |
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Jan 13, 2017 05:50
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"the rice is undercooked, the caramelized onions are burned, the pork sirloin is raw, your so-called pinot noir is just some old dishwater dyed red, the water IS ON FIRE! i should fire you from the force, but goddamn it im giving you a promotion instead!" |
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Jan 13, 2017 10:08
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gordon ramsey's hand trembles lightly as he nervously slides a knife through the single rolo I heated up in the microwave and plated with endive and a couple pecans. The tink of his knife tip hits the plate, the music crescendos, we wait for the commercial to end, frozen in the moment, as gordon drags his knife across the plate, separating the halves of the rolo, the warm caramel inside oozes onto the plate, several grown men begin crying on set |
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Jan 13, 2017 13:05
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"Would you like a warm towel Mr Ramsey Sir" "I'll need it after that shoddy meal... wait this towel is soaked... in warm Pepsi. You sir have bested me" *Performs seppuku using a Pepsi bottle, blood and Pepsi congealing on the floor together* "sputter Use... my blood...cough as the ultimate... jus" *Ramsey fades out, finally finding perfect bliss* |
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Jan 13, 2017 13:57
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social vegan posted:gordon ramsey's hand trembles lightly as he nervously slides a knife through the single rolo I heated up in the microwave and plated with endive and a couple pecans. The tink of his knife tip hits the plate, the music crescendos, we wait for the commercial to end, frozen in the moment, as gordon drags his knife across the plate, separating the halves of the rolo, the warm caramel inside oozes onto the plate, several grown men begin crying on set |
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Jan 13, 2017 14:57
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social vegan posted:gordon ramsey's hand trembles lightly as he nervously slides a knife through the single rolo I heated up in the microwave and plated with endive and a couple pecans. The tink of his knife tip hits the plate, the music crescendos, we wait for the commercial to end, frozen in the moment, as gordon drags his knife across the plate, separating the halves of the rolo, the warm caramel inside oozes onto the plate, several grown men begin crying on set |
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Jan 13, 2017 15:15
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*ramsey stands alone amidst the half ruined kitchen. the broken wasteland outside can be seen through the large, missing sections of the wall* *in his insane glee, he knocks his spatula to the ground, breaking it into countless pieces* that's not fair, that's not fair at all. thre was time now, there was—was all the time i needed! its not fair ITS NOT FAIR!! |
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Jan 13, 2017 15:33
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gordon sweats profusely as he clicks this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ok-ocZuKrxM
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Jan 13, 2017 16:02
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The risotto, Jerry. It's dry. - S03E05 "Jerry's Dry Risotto Palace, Weehawken, NJ" I ate a bird once. Not a flying one. A lady. in 1981. - S11E02 "Brundle's Chungus Bowl, Sydney, AUS" Turds are bad, Janice. Why do you do this?! S01E02 "Why!?"
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Jan 13, 2017 17:36
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"You... bloody... DONKEY!" Gordon screams at the lifeless carcass of the donkey he has just shot in the head, the first ingredient in his award-winning 'rear end done three ways' platter. |
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Jan 13, 2017 17:40
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*gordon takes a bite of the salad in front of him, with no visible reaction* you know, usually I'm ready to berate you idiots at the drop of a hat, but this reduced dressing... it's something else. it perfectly complements the pine nuts and even the puffer fish, which is, like, loving impossible even for me. it reminds me of the best meal I've ever had in my life, right after I married my soul mate. actually, the problem is that this is now the best meal I've had in my life and so I can no longer use my honeymoon dinner as the highest comparison. so I'm pleased to tell you... wait a minute, is this just reduced RC cola? *throws plate across the room* what loving trash. use Pepsi next time! |
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Jan 14, 2017 05:30
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the littlest prince posted:*gordon takes a bite of the salad in front of him, with no visible reaction*
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Jan 14, 2017 14:49
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| # ? Apr 16, 2024 05:47 |
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the littlest prince posted:*gordon takes a bite of the salad in front of him, with no visible reaction* |
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Jan 14, 2017 15:20
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