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 On this day, may we remember the great tragedy that devastated Boston with a tidal wave of hot sticky sweet and covered people from the head right to their feet. We will get a movie for a silly marathon bombing, but I think this is the true historical event that needs to be taken advantage of and made into a blockbuster flick to satisfy our media consumption needs. The tank was newly filled with 2.3 million gallons of Puerto Rican molasses. By noon, the powers above decided to money shot Boston and its inhabitants. The tank burst and unleashed a wave of Aunt Jemima that travelled at about 35 MPH. The unstoppable destructive force of this wave was strong enough to rip building from their foundation and snapped the support girders from an elevated train track. 21 lives were claimed and many more were injured. The loss of property was also great. Medics and police had to walk through a waist-high sea of Buttersworth to find those who needed help. Decades later, the residents claimed to still be able to smell the sweet, sweet scent of sugar and death. Let us all keep this memory alive on this solemn day! Troll Bridgington fucked around with this message at 19:54 on Jan 16, 2017 |
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Jan 16, 2017 18:30
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molasses is very thick, this is fake news.
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Jan 16, 2017 18:31
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eonwe posted:molasses is very thick, this is fake news. i dont appreciate this
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Jan 16, 2017 18:32
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I think the real heroes were the police and firefighters who first responded to the molasses flood 
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Jan 16, 2017 18:41
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I wonder if you could encase someone in molasses like that one guy from star trek and carbonite
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Jan 16, 2017 18:42
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cover story. a breach got sealed and all that stuff was ectoplasm. thats why you can still smell it
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Jan 16, 2017 18:43
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Sounds like a sticky situation, OP.
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Jan 16, 2017 18:43
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Rayjenkins posted:I wonder if you could encase someone in molasses like that one guy from star trek and carbonite then they could suck blood out of you millions of years later to make clones
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Jan 16, 2017 18:44
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Macasaurus posted:then they could suck blood out of you millions of years later to make clones would your dna be infused with the deliciousness and will it pass on to my clone progeny? If not then no deal I will not be submerged into a vat of molasses and love it no sir
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Jan 16, 2017 18:46
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Sweet sassy molassy
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Jan 16, 2017 18:47
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Dr Cheeto posted:Sweet sassy molassy please dont sass the molass
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Jan 16, 2017 18:49
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Jan 16, 2017 18:49
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i like maple syrup better, it's worth the extra money imo
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Jan 16, 2017 18:50
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Jan 16, 2017 18:50
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movies arent conspicuous consumption ha ha they're like fifty - sixty bucks all included dude and you're sitting in a dark room lol nobody can see you
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Jan 16, 2017 19:11
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lmfao
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Jan 16, 2017 19:13
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nice! gonna forward that to my coworkers
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Jan 16, 2017 19:42
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Toadvine posted:movies arent conspicuous consumption ha ha they're like fifty - sixty bucks all included dude and you're sitting in a dark room lol nobody can see you thx fam
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Jan 16, 2017 19:55
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whew
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Jan 16, 2017 19:57
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Hey OP, Molasses is sweet And so are you Now let me gaze on your meat And klurf the poo Rudeboy Detective fucked around with this message at 22:28 on Jan 16, 2017 |
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Jan 16, 2017 22:24
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Thats a lot of mole asses
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Jan 16, 2017 22:27
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e: oops wrong thread Molasses kills!!!
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Jan 16, 2017 22:33
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Troll Bridgington posted:
This will only work if they bring back smellovision
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Jan 16, 2017 23:20
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eonwe posted:molasses is very thick, this is fake news. Heat up some molasses in a pan and try scooping it with your fingers. I think you'll see
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Jan 16, 2017 23:21
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Imagine being killed that way tho. Imagine sweet hot molasses surging towards you, engulfing you, slowly rising from your feet to your head, deliciously burning you all the while. Mmmmmhhh oh yeah baby spill that molass all over me.
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Jan 16, 2017 23:30
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Son of Rodney posted:Imagine being killed that way tho. Imagine sweet hot molasses surging towards you, engulfing you, slowly rising from your feet to your head, deliciously burning you all the while. Mmmmmhhh oh yeah baby spill that molass all over me. Sweet sassy molassy!!
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Jan 16, 2017 23:33
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Son of Rodney posted:Imagine being killed that way tho. Imagine sweet hot molasses surging towards you, engulfing you, slowly rising from your feet to your head, deliciously burning you all the while. Mmmmmhhh oh yeah baby spill that molass all over me. at first i was all "well just run away duh" but lol 35mph. My second reaction would be to get onto something higher up like 2nd floor of a building but then it's like ripping that poo poo off at the foundation so I'd just be all fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu *engulfed in molasses* would be pretty fuckin' terrifying.
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Jan 16, 2017 23:33
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Rasta_Al posted:Sweet sassy molassy!!
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Jan 16, 2017 23:34
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Imagine being Superman and having to save people from this garbage.
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Jan 16, 2017 23:34
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if i was superman i'd address the cause of such misery and implement full communism now
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Jan 16, 2017 23:35
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Bob James posted:Imagine being Superman and having to save people from this garbage. Maybe he shouldn't be so curious on ehat its like to jerk off in a vat of molasses then
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Jan 16, 2017 23:36
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Op, molasses != maple syrup :sperg:
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Jan 16, 2017 23:48
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It's fuckin' gnarly to think about molasses taking twenty one souls. But a lot of them were probably near instantaneous as it went off like a fuckin' bomb. So let's look at this poo poo. Someone mentioned molasses is pretty thick, let's say about 90 lbs/cubic foot. So they decided it would be a good idea to make a wooden tank with metal straps 50 ft deep and 90 ft across and fill it with this poo poo on a cold day. Then it goes up like 30 degrees over the next few days... The metal strap at the base of the tank is a foot and a half wide. So integrating over height from 48.5' to 50' multiplied into 90lbs/f^3 * 90π ft ... When it failed it released nearly two million pounds of force just on that one strap.
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Jan 16, 2017 23:50
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muh lasses m'lassie
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Jan 16, 2017 23:54
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The Protagonist posted:It's fuckin' gnarly to think about molasses taking twenty one souls. But a lot of them were probably near instantaneous as it went off like a fuckin' bomb. poo poo was pretty brutal. rip in molasses
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Jan 16, 2017 23:54
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killdozer vs great molasses flood, who would win???
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Jan 17, 2017 00:01
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The Protagonist posted:It's fuckin' gnarly to think about molasses taking twenty one souls. But a lot of them were probably near instantaneous as it went off like a fuckin' bomb. Most of then got covered in warm molasses Then because it was January, it cooled off quickly and hardened into a sweet shell of death.
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Jan 17, 2017 00:03
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