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Sorry if it's the millionth time of this type of thread, but just need some perspective. With every other pet in my life the decision was either made by others (parents) or the cat died outright out of nowhere. Tomorrow I take my kitty of twelve years to the vet and I'm 80% sure I should put her down. Mid December a friend of mine noticed she looked pretty skinny (I am pretty oblivious to day to day stuff). Got her into vet and was shocked to hear she has cancer. Either stomach tumor or lymph nodes. Can't really afford surgery and won't put her through chemo at this age, so I didn't go for the ultrasound to sidentify the kind of cancer. Vet gave me some steroids to shrink the tumor. Kitty gained some weight back, and I stayed home winter break to be with her. However in the last week she has dropped in weight quite a bit again. She was normally around 11 pounds, was 9 the visit I got the news, and is even skinnier now. Can feel every bone in her tail  she doesn't drink water or eat dry food now, and if I mix in warm water to make it soupy she will eat wet food or tuna.... but maybe two teaspoons out of four tablespoon serving. I know that the vet will check her out and obv make their recommendation... But I'm suffering from "what if I'm making the wrong choice /too soon" doubts since she does have good days. I read some articles online and some reoccurring themes were "it's better to be a few weeks early than even an hour too late" and "most people who wait till it's a crisis regret it and feel super guilty". The biggest factor of doing it now is I'm a teacher and I work up to 11 hours a day and it's tough to take off. I don't want her to have seizures or other trauma from waiting too long. I took all of tomorrow off just in case...
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Jan 20, 2017 01:56
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 02:25 |
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I've had two cats slowly waste away in the last eight years. One of them was mine, and one of them was my father-in-laws, and I was in the vets office when they finally went both times. you will regret it if you wait.
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Jan 20, 2017 02:22
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Sorry to hear it My dog was in a very similar situation when I had him put down and I struggled with it just like you are because he still loved to eat hot dogs and so on. But in retrospect... it wasn't way too late but it was definitely not too soon.
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Jan 20, 2017 07:05
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Thanks for the responses guys... I tend to be a perfectionist, but I guess there's no "perfect time" or sign when to do this. Best to do it while she's not miserable. She played w a catnip toy for a minute, ate some tuna juice and now engaged in her favorite pass time: sleep.  I think I'm strangely more calm about doing it today than I was the rest of the week. Thanks.
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Jan 20, 2017 17:40
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Sorry to hear about your kitty, Interstitial. It's never easy to make that decision but I think you've probably made the right choice. The last moments you spend together will be peaceful and she will go knowing that she is loved.
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Jan 21, 2017 01:38
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I'm so sorry you are going through this. I just had to have my 16-17 year old Zuki put to sleep, on Friday the 13th of all days. I had been going through some heavy stuff with my Dad having just been diagnosed with Dementia and Zuki went from skinny to nothing but skin and bones in about a month or so while I was trying to keep my Mom together and get help for my Dad. It just happened so fast. I spent at least 50 dollars at PetSmart buying a different can of every kind of the best food they had. The vet said it was likely old age and even if it cancer or something like that, he'd likely not have survived treatment anyway. Anyway, he finally stopped eating that Friday and I could no longer stand to see him only lay by his food and water bowls, apparently not having the strength for much more. As an indoor cat, he started wanting to be outside and since we were having weather in the 60's, I obliged him and stayed outside with him. He just seemed to want to smell the air, hear and see the birds and feel the grass. I knew he was ready, but I was not and never would have been had I not known it was best for him to go peacefully in my arms at the vet instead of passing alone while I was asleep or something. It was the hardest thing I've ever done but at the same time it was the most beautiful, loving and compassionate "going away" I think I could have given him. I agree with the others who have said it's best to do it before it's ends up being a bad situation. My heart hurts for you because I was just in your shoes. I don't know what the status is now, but I hope for your sake it is a situation like Zuki had. I took flowers to the vets who were there with me. They gave me all the time I needed to say good bye and all hugged me and even cried with me. They wrote his name on the coffin they provided and put him in my passenger seat for me while i sobbed my way out of the office. He was laid to rest in his favorite spot in my courtyard and there are pics in my thread of the lovely Cat Angel statue I placed on top of his grave. I am so glad I laid him to rest there. I leave notes and fresh flowers for him can have a little chat any time I feel the need. Tomorrow me and some friends are releasing balloons for him as he never met a stranger and was the sweetest most loving cat, and friends with everyone. This may all seem overboard to some, but my son and I had him for almost 2 decades and I need to these things as part of my mourning. This is all still very raw for me so I'm sorry I wrote so much. I just wanted you to know that you will do the right thing and you will know when it's time most likely. Also, please please take time for yourself and grieve and mourn at your own pace. Our pets are family and it hurts to see them go. I don't have PM's but if you need to talk we can find a way. Once again, I'm so sorry for your loss (or impending loss) and I'm here for you if you need. I'm really sorry <3 Delayed Reaction fucked around with this message at 10:19 on Jan 22, 2017 |
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Jan 22, 2017 10:16
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There is no right time, and as guardians it is our burden to be the best advocate that we can for a creature that doesn't understand 'terminal illness' . I will be honest, whenever and whatever your choice you will either feel you made the choice too soon or too late. I say this, because I wish I had known that. I went into this part of a cat's life thinking I knew what a humane death would be and feel like, and I was so wrong I honestly thought there was something abnormal with how bad I felt. Part of grief is being haunted by the what if's, but if you hold on to the truth, that any decision you made out of love and knowledge, time will ease the pain.
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Jan 23, 2017 03:59
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I just put my kitty, Goomba to sleep this weekend. Saturday, the 21st. She was about 16 years old. She couldn't breathe well anymore. There was a big tumor on her side as well as arthritis which was making it hard for her to walk. She wasn't keeping her food down either. The poor girl was still mobile and still affectionate but obviously suffering. I put her in a box and drove to the vet and I had her put to sleep. I found a nice place next to a big field that looks over some nice Pennsylvania hills, looking west towards the sunset. I dug a hole and I put her in. I found a few rocks and some bricks to mark her patch. I'm going to go there often. Its the same place that I go to when I want to shoot my guns. Way far out in the country. A good place I think. I'm really messed up in the head still. I'm sad and I've been crying a lot. She was my friend for about 1/3 of my life. If your friend is in pain you have to make the choice. It sucks and its horrible and I'll never know if I did the right thing. I think I did so I'm going to go with that. Here's a picture of her. I'm sorry.  
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Jan 23, 2017 08:55
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I'm sorry for your loss as well, Grumbletron. Goomba was a beautiful cat. The place where she is at rest sounds beautiful too.
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Jan 27, 2017 01:32
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I'm so sorry Grumbletron. I know your pain all too well and it's still fresh and hard, but slowly getting better. My Zuki was the same age and Goomba was such a lovely cat. I love where you put her to rest and you can visit often. I talk to Zuki every time I walk outside and it helps. You very much did the right thing. Zuki was in the same position and though it hurts, we both did the best we could because we love them.
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Jan 27, 2017 14:14
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Thanks for the kind words guys. It gets easier every day. I still miss her and think about her all the time. I've still got this goofy rear end thing to keep me company. Her name is Silly and she's pretty good. She's doing a good job of keeping us all company. I think she misses the Goomba too.
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Feb 4, 2017 20:29
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Based on that picture, Silly is an excellent name.
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Feb 4, 2017 22:48
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Now it's my turn to post in the thread. I got a phone call from my vet a couple hours ago. My almost 12-year-old cat Schroedinger with the vomiting problems doesn't have IBS. She has large cell lymphoma and it's spreading. He gives her six months at the outside. I've been kicking myself for not going full bore on this from the start--the vet assured me that cancer doesn't work that way but I feel guilty. I also spent this morning doing crap on the Internet when Schrode wanted cuddles and playtime. I've never had a pet long enough to go full circle. She's getting a pill-based chemo and an overnight stay at the animal hospital. I just ordered all the maybe-someday pet stuff on my Amazon wishlist including the heated cat hutch everyone raves about. She's still herself: still yowls to be fed, kneads on sweaters, won't quit bugging me about the kitty fishing rod hidden in the closet so she can't rip all the feathers out of the lure. Just knowing that I'll have to say goodbye to her sooner than I thought makes me sad and angry and it's been kind of a lovely week already. But we're going to keep going for as long as she wants to go. 
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Mar 3, 2017 03:56
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Sometimes there's nothing you can do. I know this is catteplace but my exhausted old man dane Balen that I've been posting about since I joined this joint is probably getting into that 6 months-ish period. He's almost 12 too.
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Mar 3, 2017 14:47
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And I made the appointment today to put Schrody to sleep at 6pm today. I feel terrible.
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Apr 3, 2017 16:26
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Thanks for this thread and the advice/support. My dog just got diagnosed with osteosarcoma and is losing the ability to stand up. The vet said that technically she could get the leg amputated, but the disease has most likely spread to other parts of the body -- plus she is an older dog already. I'm going to put her down on Friday. Anger is a big part for me. Just two weeks ago she did a 2-mile hike with me, and now she can't walk because of the tumor growing in her bone. The suddenness of it all caught me off guard pretty bad. As others have said, we're all good pet owners and making the decision to put down one of our pets for them to avoid pain and suffering is one greatest acts we can do.
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Apr 5, 2017 22:56
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