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Teikanmi posted:I love how all of the twitter posts showing the birth omit this part: It's the cirrrrrcle of life 
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Apr 15, 2017 19:39
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I'm the startled dad.
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Apr 15, 2017 21:12
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kindermord posted:hyenas then? hyenas and other predators will definitely go after giraffe babies, just not giraffes themselves, since giraffes will kick the everlasting poo poo out of anything that bothers them hyenas are also gross fuckers, as discussed by wikipedia quote:The genitalia of the female closely resembles that of the male; the clitoris is shaped and positioned like a penis, and is capable of erection. The female also possesses no external vagina (vaginal opening), as the labia are fused to form a pseudo-scrotum. The pseudo-penis is traversed to its tip by a central urogenital canal, through which the female urinates, copulates and gives birth. The pseudo-penis can be distinguished from the males' genitalia by its greater thickness and more rounded glans. In both males and females, the base of the glans is covered with penile spines. The formation of the pseudo-penis appears largely androgen independent, as the pseudo-penis appears in the female fetus before differentiation of the fetal ovary and adrenal gland. After parturition, the pseudo-penis is stretched, and loses many of its original aspects; it becomes a slack-walled and reduced prepuce with an enlarged orifice with split lips. the tl;dr is that female hyenas have dicks, to gently caress the males have to stick their dick in the female's dick, and when a female gives birth the babies come out of its dick, destroying it in the process nature owns
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Apr 16, 2017 02:39
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women sounds hella gross
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Apr 16, 2017 03:33
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My name vote goes for Placentina.
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Apr 16, 2017 03:38
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Tired Moritz posted:women sounds hella gross True. They call it the miracle, but the first time you see a woman giving birth you realize we are all just disgusting animals.
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Apr 16, 2017 04:46
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Mods please change the thread title to reflect recent developments
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Apr 16, 2017 04:59
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Who What Now posted:Mods please change the thread title to reflect recent developments This stupid giraffe gave birth to a waterfall (and a stupider giraffe)
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Apr 16, 2017 07:04
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did it piss on its baby or is it just like womb juices
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Apr 16, 2017 10:06
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Tired Moritz posted:did it piss on its baby or is it just like womb juices womb juices. if you look up a video of a baby horse coming out of a horse vagina you'll be able to get a much more HD view of how much womb juice these critters pupate in
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Apr 16, 2017 10:25
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I keep looking at the gif and I love how it just flops on the ground. mom giraffe gives no fucks.
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Apr 16, 2017 10:29
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I swear to God if you call my wife a giraffe one more time, doctor
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Apr 16, 2017 13:04
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So uhh are there any other pregnant animals i can watch dick around for a month before making GBS threads life
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Apr 16, 2017 13:25
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I think your mom went through menopause already so probably not.
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Apr 16, 2017 14:24
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Birth looks like a pretty awful process for baby giraffes. Then they spend a few hours falling down trying to walk. Tough day for the kid.
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Apr 16, 2017 14:33
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PostNouveau posted:Birth looks like a pretty awful process for baby giraffes. Then they spend a few hours falling down trying to walk. Tough day for the kid. Better than human birth, except maybe the initial garbage chute drop to the ground.
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Apr 16, 2017 18:21
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Pvt.Scott posted:Better than human birth, except maybe the initial garbage chute drop to the ground. Gotta wonder how many baby giraffes just snap their neck because of the drop
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Apr 16, 2017 19:07
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You would think the momma giraffe would like kneel down a bit, but nope. If it can't survive a 5 foot drop, it's not fit to survive.
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Apr 16, 2017 19:58
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SLICK GOKU BABY posted:You would think the momma giraffe would like kneel down a bit, but nope. If it can't survive a 5 foot drop, it's not fit to survive. The brain is like the least important part of the giraffe and you aren't going to hurt that neck. I'm just spitballin' here.
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Apr 16, 2017 20:58
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Teikanmi posted:Gotta wonder how many baby giraffes just snap their neck because of the drop It would explain why giraffes are so dumb. Their necks probably aren't full of blood yet, so it's like a floppy dong. It would cushion the fall, if anything. I'm literally guessing here though.
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Apr 17, 2017 02:44
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Reading GBS today I think most of goons were also dropped 5ft the day they were born
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Apr 17, 2017 02:49
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Psycho Society posted:Reading GBS today I think most of goons were also dropped 5ft the day they were born I was born in Texas, so same effect.
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Apr 17, 2017 03:04
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Pvt.Scott posted:It would explain why giraffes are so dumb. Their necks probably aren't full of blood yet, so it's like a floppy dong. It would cushion the fall, if anything. I'm literally guessing here though. their hearts are fuckin' huge for that reason, and two feet long and the walls are three inches thick in some spots
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Apr 17, 2017 03:23
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Appearantly the vet came in to check on the baby and April kicked him! Finally she does something worth talking about!
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Apr 17, 2017 22:51
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Whatever, just click it. https://youtu.be/JIf6EfAlJPI
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Apr 17, 2017 22:52
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Very sophisticated way to weigh a giraffe. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAHORcV1elU
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Apr 17, 2017 23:05
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it would be cute if there were pygmy giraffes that stayed that size
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Apr 18, 2017 00:14
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Mozi posted:it would be cute if there were pygmy giraffes that stayed that size this sounds like a job for science
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Apr 18, 2017 00:16
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Bonsai acacia to match. That would be cute for sure.
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Apr 18, 2017 00:17
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Mozi posted:it would be cute if there were pygmy giraffes that stayed that size I need a purse sized giraffe that just rides around in my messenger bag all day.
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Apr 18, 2017 01:40
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But his head is sticking out so you can just feed it leaves and poo poo all day.
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Apr 18, 2017 01:41
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put a little spiked collar on it
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Apr 18, 2017 01:44
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What does giraffe meat taste like, I wonder
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Apr 18, 2017 02:26
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Scroon posted:What does giraffe meat taste like, I wonder Long horse.
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Apr 18, 2017 02:28
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I went googling for "exotic tasty meat" to investigate further I, uh, did not find giraffe. Lotta beaver, though.
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Apr 18, 2017 03:11
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Has the baby died yet? What's the death pool looking like?
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Apr 22, 2017 00:10
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Well, they're letting the internet name the baby. ...the part of the internet with money, anyway. $1 per entry/vote, minimum of five. So troll names have to be subtle for a chance at success. I'm scouring Behind The Name for names that could potentially mean stupid, in case anyone has spare money but no ideas. E: I like Shouta: From Japanese 翔 (shou) meaning "soar, glide" and 太 (ta) meaning "thick, big". It's one way to describe his birth - yeah, he soared very directly to the ground from six feet up. VivaLa Eeveelution fucked around with this message at 02:19 on Apr 22, 2017 |
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Apr 22, 2017 02:09
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Gif.raffe
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Apr 26, 2017 09:01
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