We havent had a F*R*i*E*N*D*s topic for awhile

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > We havent had a F*R*i*E*N*D*s topic for awhile

«‹›5 »

DiHK: Feb 4, 2013; by Azathoth

Alright I'll check that out. I really like Michael Shannon.

Nonviolent J posted:

Lol at goons who attack friends or big bang theory then watch anime and star trek

People who hate big bang either are a massive nerd stereotype or are a gay elitist who goes autistic if they make the tiniest mistake about nerd culture

NERD LIFE!! the next poster yells, grasping their micropeen and wearing spock ears

Hey ya'll look at the whiny cuck douche nozzle.

# ? Mar 30, 2017 23:25

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 24, 2024 17:27

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

It actually is a really good movie. Also features Ray Liotta, Chris Evans and Winona Ryder. You should also check out the HBO documentary they did on the actual killer.

# ? Mar 30, 2017 23:27

Harold Stassen: Jan 24, 2016

Iceman did nothing wrong

# ? Mar 30, 2017 23:33

screaden: Apr 8, 2009

# ? Mar 30, 2017 23:39

sassassin: Apr 3, 2010; by Azathoth

haljordan posted:

It actually is a really good movie. Also features Ray Liotta, Chris Evans and Winona Ryder. You should also check out the HBO documentary they did on the actual killer.

Winona Ryder was hot on FRIENDS

# ? Mar 30, 2017 23:48

DiHK: Feb 4, 2013; by Azathoth

Winona has a big brown beaver and I want to touch it all the time.

# ? Mar 31, 2017 00:20

sassassin: Apr 3, 2010; by Azathoth

She kissed Rachel and it was a big deal to me, and everyone

# ? Mar 31, 2017 00:30

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

is it a vestibule? maybe it's an atrium

# ? Mar 31, 2017 00:40

Foreskin Problems: Nov 4, 2012; It's doing fine, actually.

Pivot. Pivot. Pivot!

# ? Mar 31, 2017 01:28

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

haljordan posted:

It actually is a really good movie. Also features Ray Liotta, Chris Evans and Winona Ryder. You should also check out the HBO documentary they did on the actual killer.

It's on youtube!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DAHM75MKfk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Lo9s7LsFmk

# ? Mar 31, 2017 01:31

oldpainless: Oct 30, 2009; This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲^TM� #ad📢

I remember on thanksgiving episode Ross acted like women were just objects and Joey said "hey man they're not objects" and then a second passed and Joey said "I'm just playing they are objects" and the audience laughed because misogyny is super funny

# ? Mar 31, 2017 02:33

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

oldpainless posted:

I remember on thanksgiving episode Ross acted like women were just objects and Joey said "hey man they're not objects" and then a second passed and Joey said "I'm just playing they are objects" and the audience laughed because misogyny is super funny

It was a simpler time back then.

# ? Mar 31, 2017 02:35

Coco Rodreguiz: Jan 12, 2007; Peckerhead isn't used enough as an insult if you ask me.

I just wanna repeat that Ross tried to gently caress his cousin.

# ? Mar 31, 2017 02:59

shame on an IGA: Apr 8, 2005

amusinginquiry posted:

What about Rachel's sister?

Joeys sister tho eeeey gurl

# ? Mar 31, 2017 03:45

Dely Apple: Apr 22, 2006; Sing me Spanish Techno

Ross was not a friend at all! He was a whiny jerk to everyone.

Also he made the band of brothers run in full gear after a big spaghetti dinner

# ? Mar 31, 2017 03:50

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Remember that time that Ross sacrificed a lot for his friends to save them embarrassment or heartache because he cared about them?

Yeah, me neither.

# ? Mar 31, 2017 03:53

The Dennis System: Aug 4, 2014; Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn't ask for reality, you asked for more teeth.

How I Met Your Mother is better than Friends.

# ? Mar 31, 2017 10:49

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

how i met your friends

# ? Mar 31, 2017 10:51

DiHK: Feb 4, 2013; by Azathoth

The Dennis System posted:

How I Met Your Mother is better than Friends.

And yet it's still not a good show.

Sitcoms suck, mostly.

# ? Mar 31, 2017 13:29

naem: May 29, 2011

Cream-of-Plenty posted:

"Which Friends character are you most like?" I ask my date. I'm a witty guy who uses humour as a disarming mechanism (and, some might say, as a tool to masking my crippling insecurity), so I'd most likely be Chandler. But I'm smart like a scientist, so I could also be Ross. Finally, I'm klutzy and adorable--just like a Golden Retriever--so there's are certainly hints of Joey inside of me. "I'm basically Chandler, Ross, and Joey." I loudly proclaim this fact, because confidence is an aphrodisiac.

Every six months, Staples performs an employee review on me and gives me anywhere between a $0.30 and $0.50 raise. This last review, my "upsells" were so high that the manager bumped me up $0.65. The trick is to target older customers and mislead them on their purchases. Thus, it only took me seven weeks to afford a pair of Toto elevator shoes, which added five more inches to my height. The problem is that the shoes don't do much once you sit down, so I've also been growing my hair out and using Axe molding clay to stand it straight up, which adds several more inches. All-in-all, I'm pretty close to my goal of adding another foot to my height.

Women love it.

"These are really great breadsticks," I complement the breadsticks. I keep eating them because, hey, free food. "Nom nom nom...hah!" She doesn't get it.

Actually, I can't help but notice that my date sits a little straighter (and therefore higher) than me. As I try to fit an entire breadstick into my mouth and chew it without also biting my tongue, I carefully eyeball the top of her head. She follows my eyes and touches her hair. "What?" she asks.

I squint and chew harder. Louder. Faster. I lean in. She smells like...cinnamon? No, nutmeg. It's hard to tell. My nose is stuffed up so I have to keep my mouth open while I chew. I suddenly imagine the ball of bread rolling around in my mouth like a load of dirty laundry and it makes me want to throw up.

"I'll be right back," I jump up from my seat and jog to the restroom. When I get there, inspiration strikes me like a bolt of divine lightning. "Eureka!" I start balling up paper towels and stuffing them into the back of my pants--I think I fit half of a roll down there. Then I waddle back to the table and quietly take a seat.

She looks mildly shocked. Or perturbed? I don't know, women are hard to read. "Are you...are you alright?" she asks.

"Who? Me? Yeah. Of course." My rear end crunches softly on stiff brown paper towels while I use her forehead as a ruler and try to estimate the height that they have added to my position. Maybe an inch--not bad, not bad. I lean forward. "Do you think there's a difference between, like...anime and manga?"

Suddenly a sharp pain hits my stomach. The breadsticks. They're interacting with the pot of lukewarm coffee I drank earlier. I wince as I feel a burning sensation running through my intestines like a G-scale model train. An "uh oh..." escapes my lips before I can stop it at the proverbial gates. I don't think I'm going to make it to the bathroom. But the paper towels. "...spaghettiooooos..." I force a smile.

I imagine a beleaguered General Adama facing down a whole Cylon army with nothing but a handful of fighters and flak guns. He meditates on the coming battle before finally saying, Alright, here goes nothing, Colonel Tigh. I close my eyes, hesitantly relax my rear end, and immediately feel a warm burbling rise up between my legs, just like I sat down in a pool of sun-baked mud or bread dough. The sensation persists for what feels like an eternity--the duration of which I am entirely silent. When it ends--mercifully--I let out a soft sigh.

When I open my eyes, I realize something very strange: I have risen another inch or so and am now looking slightly downward at my date. It is the most shocking and beautiful thing I could ever conceive of.

They say, "When god closes a door, he opens a window." I don't believe in god, but if I did, I'd swear he was with me that day.

# ? Mar 31, 2017 23:23

blunt: Jul 7, 2005

etc

# ? Apr 1, 2017 00:30

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 24, 2024 17:27

TheSpamalope: Dec 30, 2008; by sebmojo; Lipstick Apathy

# ? Apr 1, 2017 00:33

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > We havent had a F*R*i*E*N*D*s topic for awhile

«‹›5 »