Morrowind!

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aas Bandit: Sep 28, 2001; Oompa Loompa; Nap Ghost

I loved Morrowind back in the day and put an amazingly stupid number of hours into it. That being said, this front page article is 100% accurate and made me laugh (and want to play it again because I occasionally enjoy pain). Thank you!

Also, please fix the typo. "I'll tell you who presses the E key to jump in computer games and uses the spacebar to jump" <--The last word should be "interact" and it makes it funny instead of momentarily confusing and then funny.

# ? May 2, 2017 06:39

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 13:45

Sgt. Shaved Balls: Sep 6, 2006; by Lowtax

im gay

# ? May 3, 2017 03:47

Strategic Tea: Sep 1, 2012

Sgt. Shaved Balls posted:

im gay

wheres the donger?

# ? May 5, 2017 23:03

El Puerco: Feb 18, 2017

I'm checking the WIKI

# ? May 6, 2017 23:36

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

I enjoyed this.

# ? May 8, 2017 19:41

spaceships: Aug 4, 2005; i love too dumptruck

guacamole aficionado

THE BOOK OF VIVEC posted:

He was born in the ash among the Velothi, anon Chimer, before the war with the northern men. Ayem came first to the village of the netchimen, and her shadow was that of Boethiah, who was the Prince of Plots, and things unknown and known would fold themselves around her until they were like stars or the messages of stars. Ayem took a netchiman's wife and said:
'I am the Face-Snaked Queen of the Three in One. In you is an image and a seven-syllable spell, AYEM AE SEHTI AE VEHK, which you will repeat to it until mystery comes.'
Then Ayem threw the netchiman's wife into the ocean water where dreughs took her into castles of glass and coral. They gifted the netchiman's wife with gills and milk fingers, changing her sex so that she might give birth to the image as an egg. There she stayed for seven or eight months.
Then Seht came to the netchiman's wife and said:

'I am the Clockwork King of the Three in One. In you is an egg of my brother-sister, who possesses invisible knowledge of words and swords, which you shall nurture until the Hortator comes.'
And Seht then extended his hands and multitudes of homunculi came forth, each like a glimmering rope through the water, and they raised the netchiman's wife back to the surface world and set her down on the shoals of Azura's coast. There she lay for seven or eight more months, caring for the egg-knowledge by whispering to it the Codes of Mephala and the prophecies of Veloth and even the forbidden teachings of Trinimac.

Seven Daedra came to her one night and each one gave to the egg new motions that could be achieved by certain movements of the bones. These are called the Barons of Move Like This. Then an eighth Daedroth came, and he was a Demiprince, called Fa-Nuit-Hen, or the Multiplier of Motions Known. And Fa-Nuit-Hen said:

'Whom do you wait for?'

To which the netchiman's wife said the Hortator.

'Go to the land of the Indoril in three months' time, for that is when war comes. I return now to haunt the warriors who fell and still wonder why. But first I show you this.'
Then the Barons and the Demiprince joined together into a pillar of fighting styles terrible to behold and they danced before the egg and its learning image.
'Look, little Vehk, and find the face behind the splendor of my bladed carriage, for in it is delivered the unmixed conflict path, perfect in every way. What is its number?'
It is said the number is the number of birds that can nest in an ancient tibrol tree, less three grams of honest work, but Vivec in his later years found a better one and so gave this secret to his people.

'For I have crushed a world with my left hand,' he will say, 'but in my right hand is how it could have won against me. Love is under my will only.'
The ending of the words is ALMSIVI.