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Whenever a big news story breaks out involving analingus, I get tons of calls from MSNBC, CNN, etc. I wear a bowtie and a tan sport coat like a college professor would wear, then I go on camera and break things down for the viewer. Some people have never done it so it's important to have a smart-looking person on screen to explain how the finer points of rear end-eating impact the current scandal capturing the hearts and minds of our nation. |
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May 23, 2017 17:16
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I have a bookshelf behind me with a lot of books about eating rear end on the shelves, prominently placed so the viewers can see them.
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May 23, 2017 17:29
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I perform annulingus on this post |
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May 23, 2017 17:29
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I ate a lot of combos and passionately licked over a hundred dollars worth in pennies to become the professional rear end eater I am today |
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May 23, 2017 18:11
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I'm the guy who has to write the captions under your name, do you prefer Anal Culinarian, or Booty bon vivant
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May 23, 2017 18:24
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I'm an expert on experts. When a station needs an expert on something, they call me. *Flips through rolodex in the "A" section* Yeah, this checks out.
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May 23, 2017 18:53
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It's just as important pairing the rear end with it's fine wine counterpart as it would be with any other meal, might I perhaps suggest a red Butte Munche 1999? It's imported
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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May 23, 2017 20:44
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putting on a grave and serious voice as I go onto fox news and say that the rear end is the place where poo comes from, and that sometimes two men do it do each other
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May 24, 2017 04:10
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who doesnt like a good sexual butt slurp now and again
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May 24, 2017 04:28
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How important is moisture level for performing best oral-anal intercourse? To find out, we turn to one of the leading experts in the field!
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May 24, 2017 04:38
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wetter is better
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May 24, 2017 04:41
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i would demonstrate on live tv the art of rear end eating but the fcc would have my head. so just trust me when i tell you im an expert at rear end munching. 
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May 24, 2017 13:10
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news anchor guy that got a handsome face but is real dumb: you cant eat rear end! it's disgusting! that's not what the rear end is for! it's unclean! me, keeping my composure under all these bright lights and guy telling the viewers at home lies: no. rear end eating is good and right. just got to clean it before you go in. |
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May 24, 2017 13:13
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"...Arby's has defended the practice, stating that mule meat is cheap, available, and as nutritious as beef. To comment on this we have invited our resident expert. How're you doing today?" *sucks air through teeth*
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May 24, 2017 13:27
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Pride and Prejudass |
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May 24, 2017 13:37
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News Anchor: "so we have you on here becauae you're an expert, could you maybe walk us through it?" rear end-pert: "Neapolitan ice cream I always tell people to think of Neapolitan ice cream and to cycle left to right through the flavors; vanilla, chocolate, strawberry." |
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May 24, 2017 15:11
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Plebian Parasite posted:"...Arby's has defended the practice, stating that mule meat is cheap, available, and as nutritious as beef. To comment on this we have invited our resident expert. How're you doing today?" lol |
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May 24, 2017 15:16
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feel like my big break is about to come... Ellen heard about the craze and wants me to come eat her rear end live in front of a studio audience
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May 24, 2017 15:18
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| On Dr. Oz I claimed that eating rear end would add two years to your life | |
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May 24, 2017 16:30
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| Yeah, I got my rear end eating Ph.D from a for-profit online university. So what? You still have to call me Dr. when I'm on the television, being an expert | |
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May 24, 2017 16:32
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| I've testified in more than a dozen court cases, when one of the parties need to prove when and where an rear end got eaten | |
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May 24, 2017 16:33
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Plaintiff's attorney: How would you characterize the analingus? Me (rear end-eating expert): You can tell from the uneven markings the the defendant didn't really want to eat her rear end. He got scared. PA: As an world renowned researcher in the field of rear end-eating, in your opinion, what effect would a frightened rimming like this have on a marriage? Me (calmly, secure in my knowledge): The damage to trust would be severe. I would go so far as to call it a breach of the marriage contract. |
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May 24, 2017 16:40
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cda posted:Plaintiff's attorney: How would you characterize the analingus? defendants attorney: objection your honor, the indentations on the rear end are an inconclusive match with my client's dental records, it could have been anybody eating the rear end in question ---------------- |
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May 24, 2017 16:46
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Darkman Fanpage posted:news anchor guy that got a handsome face but is real dumb: you cant eat rear end! it's disgusting! that's not what the rear end is for! it's unclean! lol ---------------- |
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May 24, 2017 16:52
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Anderson Cooper: it's a simple yes or no question me (certified assmuncher): blalalalalalalalala AC: admit it. you have no idea how those documents got leaked from the white house me: bulbulbulbulbul *I fake-choke on rear end for a second* bulbulbul
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May 24, 2017 17:01
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| Teens are literally biting each other in the rear end. We need better education before someone dies. | |
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May 24, 2017 17:01
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| It's called eating rear end but it's really more of a licking motion. Thank you for having me on The View to discuss this important distinction. We're going to save some lives today. | |
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May 24, 2017 17:04
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FutonForensic posted:me (certified assmuncher): blalalalalalalalala Lol |
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May 24, 2017 17:05
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Credentials check, OP! At a raucous Parisian dinner party in the late 18th century, one Sir Honorable Benjamin J. Franklin did propose the formation of a United States Office of Sexual Standards, Practices, and Measurements. It would be headed by the Asseater General of the United States of America, the first of which Franklin proposed to be his third son Thursday. The suggestion was greeted with marvelous laughter and applause by the attending French nobility. Did this really happen? And if not, wouldn't it have been kind of awesome if it did? ---------------- |
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May 25, 2017 04:21
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i think eating rear end is good
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May 26, 2017 04:19
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little munchkin posted:i think eating rear end is good  you, sir, are a pinhead! there is no bigger threat today to our judeo-christian values than the rampant rear end eating in this nation! |
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May 26, 2017 05:34
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Jesus totally ate rear end |
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May 26, 2017 05:43
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Doctor Dogballs posted:who doesnt like a good sexual butt slurp now and again 
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May 27, 2017 01:58
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cda posted:I've testified in more than a dozen court cases, when one of the parties need to prove when and where an rear end got eaten Me, in court, with a wooden pointer indicating the rear end photo submitted as evidence: "You can tell how long it has been by counting the rings." |
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May 27, 2017 03:15
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 04:41 |
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deep dish peat moss posted:Me, in court, with a wooden pointer indicating the rear end photo submitted as evidence: "You can tell how long it has been by counting the rings." Not advisable to munch rear end when ringworms are present.
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May 27, 2017 07:43
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