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iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

NUMBER 1 QUEENSLAND SUPPORTER
MAROONS 2023 STATE OF ORIGIN CHAMPIONS FOR LIFE



Fil5000 posted:

I had someone pull that on me once. Guy came in wanting some formula 1 game, I forget which, said he'd seen it at the shop across the street for £x and we had it for £x+5 and could we price match. I called the store to confirm their price and they said they hadn't got any in stock, which meant we wouldn't price match. He insisted they had it and it was quiet so I went over there and hunted through all their pc games and couldn't find the thing. I asked someone behind the counter who turned out to be the person I spoke to on the phone and they told me again that they didn't have any. I went back and told the guy and he left in a huff. Twenty minutes later he comes back, waves a copy of the game at me and declares "you just lost a customer!". I can only assume he'd found the copy in the other store, hidden it so no one stole his bargain and then came over to our store to price match and get his loyalty points.

The correct response, from memory, is to shrug and let him leave.

Then you go to back and laugh about him.

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Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer
This isn't retail but I have a British client who tips me in bottles of top shelf bourbon so that's pretty cool

Fil5000
Jun 23, 2003

HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

iajanus posted:

The correct response, from memory, is to shrug and let him leave.

Then you go to back and laugh about him.

That was pretty much it. I was more bemused than anything else.

du -hast
Mar 12, 2003

BEHEAD THOSE WHO INSULT GENTOO
One time when I worked at Rite-Aid and a customer came in and handed me a Subway sandwitch wrapper with like 1/8 of sandwich in it and said "Here, make yourself useful."

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

du -hast posted:

One time when I worked at Rite-Aid and a customer came in and handed me a Subway sandwitch wrapper with like 1/8 of sandwich in it and said "Here, make yourself useful."

I'm sorry, a what?

Ichabod Tane
Oct 30, 2005

A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.


https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

du -hast posted:

One time when I worked at Rite-Aid and a customer came in and handed me a Subway sandwitch wrapper with like 1/8 of sandwich in it and said "Here, make yourself useful."

Did you have to ask your manager what to do next?

Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

sucks to be right

iajanus posted:

The correct response, from memory, is to shrug and let him leave.

Then you go to back and laugh about him.

The guy I work for has a great response for people who make ridiculous complaints, he just nods and says "Okay" in an agreeable but non-committal voice and then just stands there. It totally encapsulates "I have heard your complaint and acknowledge it but choose not to act upon it" in a single syllable. Customers never expect it and usually have no idea how to respond, it tends to totally deflate them. If they keep complaining he'll usually pull out something like "I hear what you're saying, I'll think about it and get back to you about it but I can't do anything right now because we're just about to start _____."

Starman Super DX
Oct 17, 2011

This title text is surprisingly sturdy.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

The guy I work for has a great response for people who make ridiculous complaints, he just nods and says "Okay" in an agreeable but non-committal voice and then just stands there. It totally encapsulates "I have heard your complaint and acknowledge it but choose not to act upon it" in a single syllable. Customers never expect it and usually have no idea how to respond, it tends to totally deflate them. If they keep complaining he'll usually pull out something like "I hear what you're saying, I'll think about it and get back to you about it but I can't do anything right now because we're just about to start _____."

This is generally my token response to customers making comments about the bathroom. They always start by saying "I don't know if this is your job" and all I can think is "it's not but you're going to ask me anyway." then wait for them to leave and just assume that at some point I'll call someone.

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Choco1980
Feb 22, 2013

I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Avenging_Mikon posted:

Eh, I'd still tip. And for those who don't know, 8 is good fortune in Chinese culture. An all 8s phone numbers in China was auctioned off for something like a million dollars.


SymmetryrtemmyS posted:

Tip enough to bring your paid price to $x.44. :grin:

To further explain Asian Numerology, 4 is a VERY unlucky number over there, associated with death.

Fuck da Mods
Jun 27, 2013

fina get poz'd? :cabot: :gizz: :baby:

LOLOL customers amiright

blackmet
Aug 5, 2006

I believe there is a universal Truth to the process of doing things right (Not that I have any idea what that actually means).
It's been 10 years since I worked retail (I moved to call centers, and now I'm in some weird combo of call center/new account risk analysis, but mostly training and exceptions/escalations). I still remember some good ones...

Target -- working the customer service desk. Guy comes in to return an unopened pack of hanging nails. No receipt.

It had a Target price tag on it. .54 cents. And came from the era BEFORE TARGET USED BARCODES. Meaning it was 30 or so years old.

I had to decline that return. He basically said "OK," and walked off.

I also grew to be an expert at baby\wedding registry returns. People would come in with a huge cart of stuff they wanted to return from their registry. 3/4 of it not from Target.

These would generally be disasters with guests whining about me not taking back items that weren't ours until I learned to look on the packaging for something showing where it came from before even zapping it. I'd just turn it around and go "Wal-Mart...Kohl's...Babies R' us, create separate pi, then run the return on the three items that actually came from us. It both showed that I wasn't going to play their scam and let them know where to go next.

We also had a guy we called "Dot Man." He'd come in with stacks of receipts that had little dots next to them. He'd then try to get discounts on the items with the dots on the receipts. Usually the items had went clearance and we wouldn't give a full price item to a guest at clearance price.

I got to the point where I'd pretend to scan his receipts, pretend to punch the numbers into the register, then just keep saying "Nope. No discount...not on this one either...sorry." He was usually pretty polite and just left.

My manager said she saw him being led out of Sears in cuffs one day trying to pull the same scam. He was back a few days later and at it again.

I have way more. Future posts!

vudan
Dec 11, 2010
Has this thread had that guy who comes in to every thread like this and says something along the lines of- "stop your whining, its your job to get treated like poo poo, just do your job properly"? There's always one at least. Those guys are dicks.

HerStuddMuffin
Aug 10, 2014

YOSPOS

vudan posted:

Has this thread had that guy who comes in to every thread like this and says something along the lines of- "stop your whining, its your job to get treated like poo poo, just do your job properly"? There's always one at least. Those guys are dicks.

You're thinking of Glenn Quebec, and yes he comes around once in a while when he's drunk on the margaritas he multikills at lunch to forget the vacuity of his desk monkey job. We're not supposed to engage him, just call mall security if he shows up and let them handle it.

Ichabod Tane
Oct 30, 2005

A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.


https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4
First of all. It's martinis. Second of all, I recommended trying anything to get out of retail and better yourself. The third part is true.

vudan
Dec 11, 2010
Lol. Quebec is a good Ween album.

Johnny Five-Jaces
Jan 21, 2009


Glenn Quebec posted:

First of all. It's martinis. Second of all, I recommended trying anything to get out of retail and better yourself. The third part is true.

let me know if you need me to tag in. it was margaritas for me at lunch

Panfilo
Aug 27, 2011

EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬
I don't currently work in retail, but my job is very public-facing, and time and time again I get people saying stuff like, "Oh I could never do your job!". It feels like such a backhanded compliment. They try to come off like you have some special skill or level of patience that they lack, but really it is because they are unwilling to stoop toward putting up with the same bullshit you have to day after day. I imagine this is like a lot of retail or call center people these days.

Think about it, nobody hardly ever says this about a job with a lot of prestige attached to it. "Oh I could never be a CEO that does a lovely job and gets tons of money in spite of their incompetence, I couldn't live with myself!" :jerkbag:

Telephones
Apr 28, 2013

Glenn Quebec posted:

First of all. It's martinis. Second of all, I recommended trying anything to get out of retail and better yourself. The third part is true.

Says the man posting in GBS.

SpacePig
Apr 4, 2007

I'M FEELING JIMMY

Panfilo posted:

I don't currently work in retail, but my job is very public-facing, and time and time again I get people saying stuff like, "Oh I could never do your job!". It feels like such a backhanded compliment. They try to come off like you have some special skill or level of patience that they lack, but really it is because they are unwilling to stoop toward putting up with the same bullshit you have to day after day. I imagine this is like a lot of retail or call center people these days.

Think about it, nobody hardly ever says this about a job with a lot of prestige attached to it. "Oh I could never be a CEO that does a lovely job and gets tons of money in spite of their incompetence, I couldn't live with myself!" :jerkbag:

"I could never deal with people like myself. I'm a monster, frankly, and treat people like absolute dirt. If people treated me like absolute dirt, I would lose my mind and probably quit on the spot! Of course, you can't exactly afford to do that yourself, but my point still stands!"

Ichabod Tane
Oct 30, 2005

A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.


https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

Telephones posted:

Says the man posting in GBS.

I'll stand up for gbs any day.

Zombiepop
Mar 30, 2010
Today a man angrily told me that since we get our stuff for free(I work at a goodwill store), he should get the handwoven carpet from the 70s, for a much lower price, 120 instead of 350$. he really didn't have any argument for why, and he couldnt accept the fact the I wouldnt lower the price for him, but he kept arguing with us.

So I loudly told him, so that every customer in line heard that our money goes to women shelters, food for the homeless, etc, and thats why the price would remain the same.
gently caress middle class people who try to haggle and start fights at the loving goodwill store. Gotta be atleast one every day.

JnnyThndrs
May 29, 2001

HERE ARE THE FUCKING TOWELS

Zombiepop posted:

gently caress middle class people who try to haggle and start fights at the loving goodwill store. Gotta be atleast one every day.

Those shitheads are all dealers - they just resell that stuff for 5x your price at their antique-store booths and poo poo. gently caress 'em.

Zombiepop
Mar 30, 2010

JnnyThndrs posted:

Those shitheads are all dealers - they just resell that stuff for 5x your price at their antique-store booths and poo poo. gently caress 'em.

probably yeah, and middle aged women who has strong opinions about the price of a H&M blouse.

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The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

ASK ME ABOUT MY SHITTY, BOUGIE INTERIOR DECORATING ADVICE

Zombiepop posted:

Today a man angrily told me that since we get our stuff for free(I work at a goodwill store), he should get the handwoven carpet from the 70s, for a much lower price, 120 instead of 350$. he really didn't have any argument for why, and he couldnt accept the fact the I wouldnt lower the price for him, but he kept arguing with us.

So I loudly told him, so that every customer in line heard that our money goes to women shelters, food for the homeless, etc, and thats why the price would remain the same.
gently caress middle class people who try to haggle and start fights at the loving goodwill store. Gotta be atleast one every day.

Once when I was volunteering at a lifeline store (similar concept to goodwill), I spent an hour helping this lady in the store, and eventually getting roped into taking her stuff out to the car, which was a brand new Bentley.

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