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IT BURNS
Nov 19, 2012

a rape:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2x5Nttacxeo

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ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007


gently caress off gurf

The_end
May 17, 2014
While working on the ambulance my partner was driving us to a new posting position. On the way to the post we roll up on a guy who attempted to cross the Interstate but did not make it. He was spread out into all 4 lanes of traffic and the biggest piece was his right hand.

Charles Bukowski
Aug 26, 2003

Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner

Grimey Drawer

The_end posted:

While working on the ambulance my partner was driving us to a new posting position. On the way to the post we roll up on a guy who attempted to cross the Interstate but did not make it. He was spread out into all 4 lanes of traffic and the biggest piece was his right hand.

At that point with the blood and guts just all over the highway, what is a motorist passing through it supposed to do?

The_end
May 17, 2014

Charles Bukowski posted:

At that point with the blood and guts just all over the highway, what is a motorist passing through it supposed to do?

People were running over bits as they passed. I am sure some peoples vehicles has meat bits stuck in the tires. I had a piece stuck in my boot.

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

The_end posted:

While working on the ambulance my partner was driving us to a new posting position. On the way to the post we roll up on a guy who attempted to cross the Interstate but did not make it. He was spread out into all 4 lanes of traffic and the biggest piece was his right hand.

too bad for him.

i was driving through new mexico last month and there was this dude right outside of Albuquerque running across an 8 lane section of i25. like bro i almost killed you, how can you reasonably conceive of dodging cars at 80 mph traffic? the speed limit is like 75, youre basically playing a game of hyper-frogger.

Bubble Bobby
Jan 28, 2005
When I lived in Brooklyn there were gunshots in front of my place, broad daylight like 2 PM. A car in front of my apartment had bullet holes in the window. The cops rolled up a little while later and I was on the stoop smoking a cigarette watching them. This one lady cop was on her hands and knees looking for shell casings, she couldn't find any. She goes to her partner "what kind of gun doesn't leave shell casings?" and he shrugged, I was like, a revolver, she was like, oh right, thanks. I didn't have a ton of confidence that they would close the case.

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

Bubble Bobby posted:

When I lived in Brooklyn there were gunshots in front of my place, broad daylight like 2 PM. A car in front of my apartment had bullet holes in the window. The cops rolled up a little while later and I was on the stoop smoking a cigarette watching them. This one lady cop was on her hands and knees looking for shell casings, she couldn't find any. She goes to her partner "what kind of gun doesn't leave shell casings?" and he shrugged, I was like, a revolver, she was like, oh right, thanks. I didn't have a ton of confidence that they would close the case.

if you hadn't corrected her she would have spent the afternoon looking for a gun that fired ice bullets

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

one time i was taking a walk in the park near the capitol building in denver and some homeless got up and shouted at two cops and tried to light himself on fire

that was like a month ago or so. i left before he went full enfield, but he dead i think

Class Warcraft
Apr 27, 2006


Bubble Bobby posted:

When I lived in Brooklyn there were gunshots in front of my place, broad daylight like 2 PM. A car in front of my apartment had bullet holes in the window. The cops rolled up a little while later and I was on the stoop smoking a cigarette watching them. This one lady cop was on her hands and knees looking for shell casings, she couldn't find any. She goes to her partner "what kind of gun doesn't leave shell casings?" and he shrugged, I was like, a revolver, she was like, oh right, thanks. I didn't have a ton of confidence that they would close the case.

It makes me laugh that people think that the police operate on the level of CSI shows when in reality they're just as bad at their job as anyone else.

I remember watching the police arrest two guys who had gotten super drunk and started playing demolition derby in their car, smashing into other cars on the street. Anyway they had both guys handcuffed on the curb and while the police were talking to one of the guys, the other one just stood up and casually walked off, his hands still cuffed behind his back.

finally the cops realize he's missing and they ask me "Where'd the other guy go?" and I was like "he walked off like 10 minutes ago"

Good job guys.

Jim Barris
Aug 13, 2009
Here's a couple fun things I've seen.

I've seen a guy so desperate to get high that he let me dislocate his shoulder in the parking lot of an E.R.

Ive seen a kid get hit by a car with such force that he got knocked out of his shoes. Just a pair of shoes in front of a car where once there was a boy. (He lived)

I've seen a man cough up his liver and die on the side of the highway, he was my uncle.

I've seen a man hanging by a rope in his garage. I had to cut him down, he was my other uncle. Later I saw his dead body kept running by machines in a hospital.

I was loitering in front a 7-11 once and a homeless man ran up to me and asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I said sure and he proceeded to wave his hands in front of his face while mumbling some nonsense and then turned heel and ran full speed out of sight. He made himself disappear.

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Jose posted:

thats fair but how did a homeless man afford 2ci

2CI is super duper cheap. In high school it could be bought off the internet for a couple bucks a dose.

Plus homeless people often have all kinds of drugs that they shouldn't possibly have. Huge bags of crack, for instance, in the spirit of this thread. I've seen that multiple times

In high school I came face to face with a mountain lion in the middle of the night when I was sneaking into my girlfriend's house in the Santa Cruz mountains. The only light was from the moon which was quite bright that night and the only reason I realized he was there at first was his breathing. We just stared at each other for several minutes, I almost poo poo my pants, and then it turned around and disappeared. I ran back to my car, no pussy is worth that.

On vacation in San Felipe, Mexico, my dad and my brother and I were at an outdoor stall/table thing renting ATVs which is a big thing in that town. Everyone rallys around on ATVs all day, usually drunk off their tits and going way too fast. You can see where this is going.

Some guy comes tearing off down the street, he's probably doing 50 or 60. Big white panel van pulls out in front of him, he smashes into the side and goes flying up into the air, doing a few slow, lazy flips before smashing down into the asphalt. No one did a drat thing, just kind of looked at him all blase. Nobody even went up to the body, that's how clearly dead he was and instead of a proper ambulance some guys just came and bagged him up. I was 12 years old.

And yep, we still rented the ATVs but we stayed on the dunes.

Play fucked around with this message at 01:42 on Jun 30, 2017

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray
In Vietnam I saw a tiny little kitten crawl out from a narrow alleyway. As if in slow motion I saw one of the rear wheels on a bicycle cart run him over on the neck. The rider continued on completely unaware, and although there were locals around they either didn't see or didn't care. I picked up the little bugger hoping he might somehow miraculously be alright but he began to seize, his body convulsing and his eyes kind of drifting upwards. He was done for and so I finished the job by twisting his neck, disposed of his body in a trash can, went home and cried vigorously

Blue On Blue
Nov 14, 2012

Play posted:

In Vietnam I saw a tiny little kitten crawl out from a narrow alleyway. As if in slow motion I saw one of the rear wheels on a bicycle cart run him over on the neck. The rider continued on completely unaware, and although there were locals around they either didn't see or didn't care. I picked up the little bugger hoping he might somehow miraculously be alright but he began to seize, his body convulsing and his eyes kind of drifting upwards. He was done for and so I finished the job by twisting his neck, disposed of his body in a trash can, went home and cried vigorously

Hmm. All the stories of humans being shot and dying in this thread I'm just like ... Meh

But a kitten dying is just sad.

Kirk Vikernes
Apr 26, 2004

Count Goatnackh

One time we were headed out of town in my parents Ford Windstar when all of a sudden a bird hit the antenna, split open and my dad had to run the wipers due to the guts and blood on the windshield.

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

de_dust posted:

how hard did you get after doing it?

Somewhere between topaz and diamond.

titty_baby_
Nov 11, 2015

when i was a teenager i got picked upby some frendos to go see a drive thru movie and 420 blazeit, but the guy with the weed had it in a baggy in a food wrapper for stealth and he accidentally threw it away at a grocery store, prior, so we went back to the grocery store nd found it but we didnt wanna pay to get back into the movie so we went to a party which i was not prepared for. the next day we saw the two 'bouncers' (guys at the door asking us if we were 18 [we werent]) driving the handicapped motor carts around wal mart

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

OXBALLS DOT COM posted:

I saw a bird fly into a windmill and die. Same with a window.

a flying window is pretty random

interwhat
Jul 23, 2005

it's kickin in dude

Sexy but fuckin annoying. I made it 3 mins. Reminded me why i left philadelphia

titty_baby_
Nov 11, 2015

left my apartment in lbc with a friend one early morning and there was a fresh steaming turd on the street corner right outside

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Orkin Mang posted:

a flying window is pretty random

It's called a plane

Return Of JimmyJars
Jun 24, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

titty_baby_ posted:

left my apartment in lbc with a friend one early morning and there was a fresh steaming turd on the street corner right outside

Welcome to every morning in San Francisco

Hollismason
Jun 30, 2007

Witchfinder General

Saw a guy purposefully run into traffic to get hit by a car in order to try and kill himself.

titty_baby_
Nov 11, 2015

Return Of JimmyJars posted:

Welcome to every morning in San Francisco

on another note:

visited sf with a friend to go to a concert
we'd both been there before but only to touristy areas and we didnt really know anything about the actual city
we picked the cheapest, somewhat close hotel we could find, and so we ended up staying int he tenderloin

i made eye contact with a man making GBS threads in an alleyway about 15 minutes into being there

Heath
Apr 30, 2008

🍂🎃🏞️💦
I used to work at a retro video game shop in Florida. I didn't directly witness this, but I saw the aftermath of it. We were in a large strip mall that was sort of a C-shaped building surrounding a parking lot. A very large, unmarked, windowless white utility van was parked at the far end of the parking lot (roughly opposite the center of the C curve; in other words, as far away as could possibly be from any of the stores) and stayed there for a few months. I noticed it, but I never thought anything of it, since I figured it belonged to the strip mall and was maybe some kind of repair van or something, but one day I came in to work and 60% of the parking lot was cordoned off in a circle around the van and police were surrounding the area. I found out from my manager that someone had overdosed on something early in April, and it was now mid-July. So, basically, a corpse had been rotting in the Florida heat for several months before anybody bothered to notice.

This was Jacksonville, if that pulls things together for you.

coldpudding
May 14, 2009

FORUM GHOST
Once at a grocery store I encountered a woman with no legs zipping around on a skateboard with a basket of groceries balanced on the front,
Another time I happened to board a train carriage full of clowns and party princesses apparently on their way to the same event (I assume the kids hospital),
I also witnessed a bird repeatedly fly into a wall until it killed itself.

Sailor Viy
Aug 4, 2013

And when I can swim no longer, if I have not reached Aslan's country, or shot over the edge of the world into some vast cataract, I shall sink with my nose to the sunrise.

I was on holiday in London, coming out of a really busy train station. It was in the touristy district with all the musical theatres. A guy standing by the wall said (loudly and clearly but to no-one in particular) "Anybody looking for a full-time job?"

I've always wanted to know what kind of job I could have gotten if I said yes...

de_dust
Jan 21, 2009

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.
I saw a bulldog skateboarding yesterday, it pushed itself around and then rode on it.

It's owner was making crazy money from all the passerby

Bubble Bobby
Jan 28, 2005

Play posted:

In Vietnam I saw a tiny little kitten crawl out from a narrow alleyway. As if in slow motion I saw one of the rear wheels on a bicycle cart run him over on the neck. The rider continued on completely unaware, and although there were locals around they either didn't see or didn't care. I picked up the little bugger hoping he might somehow miraculously be alright but he began to seize, his body convulsing and his eyes kind of drifting upwards. He was done for and so I finished the job by twisting his neck, disposed of his body in a trash can, went home and cried vigorously

drat this is the worst one in the thread

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Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
i watched a dumb asian girl run over a german woman on a bike in amsterdam last week. i know she was german because she kept screaming SHIZAHHHHH

i laughed super hard after turning the corner lol

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