ok so if you assume the silmarillion is like the old testament

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > ok so if you assume the silmarillion is like the old testament

a gay lion named Tangiers: Jul 30, 2013

i.e. basically worthless world-building bullshit

then the new testament would be the hobbit, right?

i just can't... quite... ungh make this about racial tension in modern day america. i'm sorry you guys i really wanted to

# ? Jul 18, 2017 07:10

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 06:58

Serak: Jun 18, 2000; Approaching Midnight.

orc lives matter OP. It's not their fault that the elven industrial complex created the socioeconomic conditions that forced them into a life of evil

# ? Jul 18, 2017 07:12

Mariana Horchata: Jun 30, 2008; College Slice

# ? Jul 18, 2017 07:15

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Orcs are a metaphor for communists - an unthinking horde of crude killing machines led by a tyrannical dictator who doesn't care for them.

# ? Jul 18, 2017 07:16

gnarlyhotep: Sep 30, 2008; by Lowtax; Oven Wrangler

a gay lion named Tangiers posted:

i.e. basically worthless world-building bullshit

then the new testament would be the hobbit, right?

i just can't... quite... ungh make this about racial tension in modern day america. i'm sorry you guys i really wanted to

how about you go gently caress yourself

# ? Jul 18, 2017 07:18

a gay lion named Tangiers: Jul 30, 2013

Mariana Horchata posted:

my mind is literally blown

# ? Jul 18, 2017 07:18

a gay lion named Tangiers: Jul 30, 2013

gnarlyhotep posted:

how about you go gently caress yourself

s-senpai?

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jul 18, 2017 07:19

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

no dont post in the lord of the rings thread that was just talking about the silmarillion. make a new thread for your stupid post :thumbsup:

# ? Jul 18, 2017 07:19

BluesShaman: Apr 25, 2016; She wore Blue Velvet.

There are even multiple orc cultures and dialects.

They're people as much as elves, dwarves, and humans.

# ? Jul 18, 2017 07:20

gnarlyhotep: Sep 30, 2008; by Lowtax; Oven Wrangler

gary oldmans diary posted:

no dont post in the lord of the rings thread that was just talking about the silmarillion. make a new thread for your stupid post

morons will be morons

# ? Jul 18, 2017 07:22

mystery fluid: Feb 12, 2017; by Nyc_Tattoo

if you consider the movies you see the orcs were birthed from weird cocoons for a life of servitude and battle

a clear slavery analogy

# ? Jul 18, 2017 09:41

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Did Tolkien have a Jesus figure like Lewis and Aslan?

# ? Jul 18, 2017 09:43

Avirosb: Nov 21, 2016; Everyone makes pisstakes

mind the walrus posted:

Did Tolkien have a Jesus figure like Lewis and Aslan?

You serious?
Gandalf literally came back from the dead.

# ? Jul 18, 2017 09:49

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Yeah but he wasn't a prophet or Messiah, is what I meant

# ? Jul 18, 2017 09:54

Teikanmi: Dec 16, 2006; by R. Guyovich

mind the walrus posted:

Yeah but he wasn't a prophet or Messiah, is what I meant

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T%C3%BArin_Turambar

# ? Jul 18, 2017 10:16

font color sea: Jan 23, 2017; Expelliarmus!

Teikanmi posted:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T%C3%BArin_Turambar

banged his sister and then killed himself.

a proper Messiah

# ? Jul 18, 2017 10:22

super sweet best pal: Nov 18, 2009

mind the walrus posted:

Yeah but he wasn't a prophet or Messiah, is what I meant

He was literally an angel.

# ? Jul 18, 2017 10:29

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Teikanmi posted:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T%C3%BArin_Turambar

That story had a lot of "and then he accidentally killed..." in it. Also he's a really lovely messiah if most of what he did involved killing orcs, being an arrogant poo poo, and boning his sister. Like why does that entitle him to be the one to kill Satan?

# ? Jul 18, 2017 10:34

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

super sweet best pal posted:

He was literally an angel.

Jesus was never an angel. Dude got into some bad poo poo as a teen. Huffing dye fumes in the slums of Bethlehem with rowdy street urchins and making GBS threads in Centurion helmets and what not.

# ? Jul 18, 2017 10:36

Pththya-lyi: Nov 8, 2009; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

Is The Lord of the Rings the Quran, then?

# ? Jul 18, 2017 12:15

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

Old Testament best Testament!!! :megadeath:

# ? Jul 18, 2017 12:51

Secular Humanist: Mar 1, 2016; by Smythe

did you notice:

there are a lot of WHITE PEOPLE in lord of the rings??

here i thought elrond was woke letting his daughter gently caress a mere human but nope rivendell is white elf af.

# ? Jul 18, 2017 13:00

Mega64: May 23, 2008; I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

Mariana Horchata posted:

# ? Jul 18, 2017 14:19

myDad: Jan 20, 2010; ce n'est pas ma m�re; College Slice

Mariana Horchata posted:

# ? Jul 18, 2017 15:30

Gay Hitler: Dec 11, 2006; I'm gay as heil!

Are those shorts or pig pants? Is that a Glock?

# ? Jul 18, 2017 15:51

Gay Horney: Feb 10, 2013; by Reene

Gay Hitler posted:

Are those shorts or pig pants? Is that a Glock?

Its a Pig Sow-er

# ? Jul 18, 2017 16:59

Papa Emeritus III: Jul 7, 2017; [A MESSAGE FROM THE CLERGY]

Dat's Pussy Trap, bitch!

_{_{Deal with it.}}

Gay Horney posted:

Its a Pig Sow-er

"OiNK"

# ? Jul 19, 2017 00:52

eSports Chaebol: Feb 22, 2005; Yeah, actually, gamers in the house forever,

Secular Humanist posted:

did you notice:

there are a lot of WHITE PEOPLE in lord of the rings??

here i thought elrond was woke letting his daughter gently caress a mere human but nope rivendell is white elf af.

elrond is also aragorns great-great-(times about 30)-uncle so its incestuous too

# ? Jul 19, 2017 00:54

signalnoise: Mar 7, 2008; i was told my old av was distracting

mind the walrus posted:

Did Tolkien have a Jesus figure like Lewis and Aslan?

Gandalf sacrificed himself for his companions and was rewarded in death with being reborn more powerful than ever or some poo poo. I'm pretty sure Tom Bombadil is some kind of god too

# ? Jul 19, 2017 01:12

paul_soccer10: Mar 28, 2016; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

BluesShaman posted:

They're people as much as elves, dwarves, and humans.

NO THEYRE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

# ? Jul 19, 2017 01:20

naem: May 29, 2011

elf lives matter

# ? Jul 19, 2017 02:31

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

Gay Horney posted:

Its a Pig Sow-er

# ? Jul 19, 2017 02:36

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Gay Horney posted:

Its a Pig Sow-er

# ? Jul 19, 2017 02:39

ROFLburger: Jan 12, 2006

gnarlyhotep posted:

how about you go gently caress yourself

nah that idiot is right, the silmarillion is not good

# ? Jul 19, 2017 02:41

ROFLburger: Jan 12, 2006

Hey guys:

Patrick Rothfuss, lol

# ? Jul 19, 2017 02:42

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 06:58

eSports Chaebol: Feb 22, 2005; Yeah, actually, gamers in the house forever,

ROFLburger posted:

nah that idiot is right, the silmarillion is not good

yeah even tolkien thought it was weird anyone else would ever want to read it thats why it was only ever published posthumously (its also great though)

# ? Jul 19, 2017 08:24

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > ok so if you assume the silmarillion is like the old testament