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Every night my porch light has a few wasps buzzing around it. I thought these assholes were supposed to chill out at night. |
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Jul 30, 2017 08:59
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| # ? May 16, 2024 08:01 |
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They're pretty dumb. Maybe they think your porch light is the sun. |
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Jul 30, 2017 09:18
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The really awful thing is that, in the bright porch light, you can see when then poo poo. Wasps poo poo a LOT, all over the place, just flying and making GBS threads.
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Jul 30, 2017 09:28
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white anglo saxon protestants flying and making GBS threads |
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Jul 30, 2017 10:58
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Get a bug zapper light and pretend the wasps are enemy drones that your automated defenses "take care of"
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jul 30, 2017 15:03
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That's pretty fuckin brutal. I don't want to kill them. Just, you know, send them a message. And toilet train them. ---------------- |
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Jul 30, 2017 16:04
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OH! My bad, I misunderstood your message. They respond well to UV light, so you could set up a Close Encounters of the Third Kind light board to communicate with them using varying patterns of UV light. They will of course return your communications efforts with nasty, painful stings but if you pay close enough attention you should be able to ascertain some sort of rudimentary language. Or a buncha painful swelling. Or maybe both! They might even poop on your arm in gratitude for not punishing them for being a wasp. https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jul 30, 2017 16:22
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Here is my true story of wasps. I used to live in a place with apple trees in the back garden. More apples than anyone would eat, so some would inevitably end up on the ground and rotting. Wasps love getting drunk on rotting apples. Then they would come into the kitchen. Once in the kitchen they would spend hours headbutting the insides of the windows, acting like they can't find their way out. But I discovered, if you smack these wasps in their stupid faces hard enough that they crash into the ground, but not so hard that they die, every single loving time their next action is to immediately fly out through the open door. They know the way out. They're just headbutting windows to be assholes. |
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Jul 30, 2017 16:35
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Life, ah...finds a way, op
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Jul 30, 2017 16:57
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God dammit, they're back tonight. I can't hang out on my own porch at night because I'm scared of getting stung and/or shat on
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Jul 31, 2017 04:03
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Petr posted:That's pretty fuckin brutal. I don't want to kill them. Just, you know, send them a message. whats more valuable here, Petr, your well being and peace of mind, or sustaining the lives of these wasps who give you nothing in life but misery and prospects of pain? the answer lie in your heart, you know it just as well as i what you must do. you must make an example for these wasps, you must engage in one-on-one physical combat with the queen of the wasps and brutally slaughter her. you must take the ruined remains of her body and smear them all over you. you must plant the head of the queen on a stake and place it directly in front of the wasp's nest. this can be the only way which you'll win your freedom back. |
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Jul 31, 2017 05:10
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It's cool, I talked to them and they're pretty chill.
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Jul 31, 2017 06:46
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You can kill wasps by spraying them with soap+water. They must be filthy |
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Aug 2, 2017 05:32
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deep dish peat moss posted:You can kill wasps by spraying them with soap+water. They must be filthy This is why I bathe in Raid ---------------- |
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Aug 2, 2017 06:06
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deep dish peat moss posted:You can kill wasps by spraying them with soap+water. They must be filthy civilized life is too much for some to bear. |
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Aug 2, 2017 08:19
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deep dish peat moss posted:You can kill wasps by spraying them with soap+water. They must be filthy The same goes for goons actually |
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Aug 2, 2017 11:47
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roomforthetuna posted:Here is my true story of wasps. Wasps knew. I know bees chill at night, those cunts would annex my house every summer. Had to go zykon b on them to regain access to my house |
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Aug 2, 2017 12:46
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The Biscuit posted:Wasps knew. This is actually a really bad idea. Not only are bee populations dwindling, but it's bad for your house. Dead hives attract roaches and mice. You should just call a beekeeper to extract the hive. ---------------- |
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Aug 2, 2017 13:37
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because the artisnal wine bar doesn't open until 8pm op
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Aug 2, 2017 22:02
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Petr posted:This is actually a really bad idea. Not only are bee populations dwindling, but it's bad for your house. Dead hives attract roaches and mice. You should just call a beekeeper to extract the hive. Unfortunately we have way more bee invasions than apiarists. I don't want to have a swarm hanging out in my house for a month. The Council comes out next-day. |
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Aug 3, 2017 16:07
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precision posted:because the artisnal wine bar doesn't open until 8pm op
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Aug 3, 2017 16:34
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beekeepers sometimes like to catch swarms and put them in a new box house where they can hang out and theres a pool
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Aug 3, 2017 20:34
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Look, some wasps want to be quote unquote good wasps and stay at home. But some wasps want to get out and really live. You wake up, you're two weeks old, your life is half over and you have a choice: do something or turn into your hive mother. |
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Aug 3, 2017 20:42
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wasps go out at night to find witches, the northeast USA is really dangerous because of it
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Aug 3, 2017 23:46
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wasps seeking witches with bees in their britches flees wearing fleeces painted with peaches these are a few of my favorite things |
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Aug 4, 2017 03:34
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the wasps come out at night from yelling at store managers and their kids all day so they need to find young guys at night to prey on to relieve how waspy they are |
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Aug 4, 2017 04:23
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wasps love sugar btw. remove all the sugar from your porch and youll be okay |
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Aug 4, 2017 14:09
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Slugnoid posted:wasps love sugar btw. remove all the sugar from your porch and youll be okay also stop giving them coffee, I bet that's what is keeping them up |
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Aug 4, 2017 14:27
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Manifisto posted:also stop giving them coffee, I bet that's what is keeping them up I got my wasps switched onto a decaf tea. I told them it is purified Orange Pekoe, which is technically true but it's really just Red Diamond Decaf that I dumped into a metal cookie tin. |
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Aug 4, 2017 17:54
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In my experience, most wasps like meat more than sugar. A hive will gently caress UP a hot dog. Then poo poo it everywhere. ---------------- |
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Aug 4, 2017 18:04
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The sun never sets on the British Empire. |
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Aug 7, 2017 16:21
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wasp are just single ladies trying to get an education at night school while holding down a full time job during the day and taking care of their larvas |
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Aug 8, 2017 08:01
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Darkman Fanpage posted:wasp are just single ladies trying to get an education at night school while holding down a full time job during the day and taking care of their larvas Pygmalion wasp has charmingly naive designs to enter bee society the bees are encouraging to her face but when her back is turned they titter and snicker however, I, henry wasp higgins, will teach this plucky insect the nuances of honeybee social intercourse step 1: we "gather nectar from" the flowers, we do not "gently caress" them |
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Aug 8, 2017 11:50
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| # ? May 16, 2024 08:01 |
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sugar ah honey honey you are my candy girl and you got me huh huh huh huh huh huh sugar SOMEONE GET THIS SONG OUT OF MY HEAD ---------------- |
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Aug 10, 2017 04:59
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