my shoes were untied on purpose, and I actually meant to trip over them

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > my shoes were untied on purpose, and I actually meant to trip over them

little munchkin

the fact that you would try and make fun of me for something i did intentionally just shows how ignorant you are

# ? Aug 15, 2017 04:27

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# ? May 5, 2024 00:55

little munchkin

it's extremely immature of you to think that i got so scared by the ambulance siren that I screamed and my pants fell down. in reality I was getting their attention to offer my belt in case they needed help applying pressure to a wound. maybe when you grow up more you'll learn to be more considerate of others

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Aug 15, 2017 04:31

Macnult

for the last time, i am not weak to the sight of blood. i merely thought the droplet on the sidewalk was mine and upon that realization i took a quick nap so my body could produce more. do you think the chairs at some blood drives are reclined for no reason?

# ? Aug 15, 2017 05:56

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

That spider actually has a restraining order on me from all the times I've tried to squash it. What you think I ran out of the house in fear? I just respect the law too much

# ? Aug 15, 2017 06:05

FutonForensic

of course the floor isn't made of lava. my jumping on this chair and screaming is a display of dominance. my genitals are at your eye level now! what hope do you have against me?

# ? Aug 15, 2017 06:12

Starman Super DX: This title text is surprisingly sturdy.

Heh, of course I meant to poo poo myself. It's the newest thing. "Homeless-chique" I only leaned to one side in order to have room.

Starman Super DX fucked around with this message at 19:58 on Aug 23, 2017

Tell me more!
btw ty Birdcon for the sweet spring sig

# ? Aug 15, 2017 06:29

Darkman Fanpage

oh, my zipper was down? yeah, i know. i like to give the boys some fresh air. maybe if you werent so caught up in the rat race we call life you'd realize there are the small things we can appreciate like letting our genitals get some air.

# ? Aug 15, 2017 06:56

Android Blues

when i drank all the hot sauce and my tongue bulged out and went AROOOOGA, and my eyes came out and did a 1-4 stretch to express dynamic motion, and i ran to the sink and blowjobbed the faucet for like a hundred minutes, it was because i was tired of drinking wine, which is a boring drink for fools and idiots, and so my hand naturally went to the slim, drinkable neck of the hot sauce bottle instead. i kept drinking the hot sauce until id finished the whole bottle not because im a cartoon of a human whose purpose in this life is to experience exaggerated suffering, but because i know it's rude to expect someone else to drink/pour from a bottle with my splashback in it. i am considerate: i am a renaissance woman.

# ? Aug 15, 2017 08:34

Android Blues

when i walked out over the cliff and didnt notice that i was walking on nothing for a few seconds before falling into a chasm and being seriously injured, i was simply practising my breatharian yoga techniques, and next time i will get over to the other side of the cliff, which is much more than you could ever do, you loving bird.

# ? Aug 15, 2017 08:36

Manifisto

a typo? really? do you actually believe I would go to all the trouble to have that document printed, signed, countersigned, witnessed, notarized, recorded in the official state archives, printed ten thousand times and delivered to local municipal offices, and laminated and mounted to an expensive piece of mahogany above my office desk with an unintentional misspelling? I always leave a small imperfection in my work so that I do not anger the gods with my inhumanly flawless craftsmanship

# ? Aug 15, 2017 13:59

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

*holding an old style rotary phone to my shoulder*

A hammer. Ballpeen, not claw. Yeah, both fingers swole up like an angry pimple, red and throbbing. There was an ominous wumb-wumbing sound but that died off after the initial pain subsided.

Well I found a convenient tin bucket of water, and stuck my pokers in there. It still hurts even though my fingeys were hot enough to steam that bucket dry. Is this something I can get drugs for?

crimes

# ? Aug 15, 2017 14:33

lmbo calrissian: i'm into fashion
men are my passion

At the public's laughter, still a trailblazer

# ? Aug 16, 2017 23:19

Dugout

oh these bad boys? i actually like to leave the tags and stickers on my clothes when i go out to let people know theyre new. glad you noticed.

# ? Aug 17, 2017 05:02

AverySpecialfriend: by Hand Knit

Android Blues posted:

when i drank all the hot sauce and my tongue bulged out and went AROOOOGA, and my eyes came out and did a 1-4 stretch to express dynamic motion, and i ran to the sink and blowjobbed the faucet for like a hundred minutes, it was because i was tired of drinking wine, which is a boring drink for fools and idiots, and so my hand naturally went to the slim, drinkable neck of the hot sauce bottle instead. i kept drinking the hot sauce until id finished the whole bottle not because im a cartoon of a human whose purpose in this life is to experience exaggerated suffering, but because i know it's rude to expect someone else to drink/pour from a bottle with my splashback in it. i am considerate: i am a renaissance woman.

AROOOOGA

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Aug 17, 2017 05:29

little munchkin

Dugout posted:

oh these bad boys? i actually like to leave the tags and stickers on my clothes when i go out to let people know theyre new. glad you noticed.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Aug 17, 2017 14:21

little munchkin

You might think it's funny when I sit on chairs and they collapse due to my enormous girth, but I actually think it's good when that happens. It would have been a lot more dangerous if that chair had collapsed on someone who wasn't so mentally prepared for it. If I wasn't so considerate of other people's feelings, then I'd be the one laughing at you right now.

# ? Aug 17, 2017 14:26

google THIS

Yes, I know what I said, and I meant it. Enjoy your movie as well, the movie known as life, which you will be watching from behind the glass at that ticket counter.

# ? Aug 17, 2017 15:20

alnilam

google THIS posted:

Yes, I know what I said, and I meant it. Enjoy your movie as well, the movie known as life, which you will be watching from behind the glass at that ticket counter.

# ? Aug 17, 2017 15:49

Manifisto

google THIS posted:

Yes, I know what I said, and I meant it. Enjoy your movie as well, the movie known as life, which you will be watching from behind the glass at that ticket counter.

# ? Aug 17, 2017 16:04

LvK: FIVE STARS!!

Uhm, actually, in Hawaii, wearing a shirt with the pattern on the INSIDE instead of the outside is a sign of maturity and respect. So maybe you should just think about THAT next time I put on my underwear after my pants.

# ? Aug 22, 2017 15:48

DOPE FIEND KILLA G

*yelling at the clown school janitor* for the LAST loving time Pete, I needed that peel left out for a routine. if it was loving trash I would've waddled my way down to the trash can myself, I mean good grief

# ? Aug 22, 2017 21:06

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

google THIS posted:

Yes, I know what I said, and I meant it. Enjoy your movie as well, the movie known as life, which you will be watching from behind the glass at that ticket counter.

# ? Aug 22, 2017 22:15

lmbo calrissian: i'm into fashion
men are my passion

google THIS posted:

Yes, I know what I said, and I meant it. Enjoy your movie as well, the movie known as life, which you will be watching from behind the glass at that ticket counter.

# ? Aug 22, 2017 22:23

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

Is a teacher not just a maternal figure, preparing us for life, and guiding us through its many pitfalls? The fact that you don't understand this, all while laughing at my accurate designation, shows me that you all have some serious growing up to do.

# ? Aug 22, 2017 22:57

AverySpecialfriend: by Hand Knit

uhh are you telling me you dont drool all over yourself constantly? okay weirdo lol

# ? Aug 23, 2017 17:23

alnilam

Actually I'm just storing this piece of spinach for later. Sorry to hear that you don't value being prepared.

# ? Aug 23, 2017 17:29

DOPE FIEND KILLA G

Ha, of course I meant to get the sugar-free Oreos...you know me, I'm all about health!

# ? Aug 23, 2017 18:17

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

so what if you refilled my Mio energy concentrate squeezebottle with an entire gallon of Dr Bronner's Hippie Extract? maybe it's good that all i can taste is patchouli. all the famous models poo poo themselves so hard their intestines shoot out from behind them like a god drat windsock.

HAter.

crimes

# ? Aug 23, 2017 19:55

Jolo: ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it

Oh, I see the misunderstanding. You thought these were Snickerdoodles, when actually they're my new savory take on the cookie, Saltydoodles. They're supposed to taste incredibly salty and gently caress up your vision and heart rate. It's silly that you thought I accidentally put salt in instead of sugar. Watch as I eat 3 more of these Saltydoodles to show just how much I meant to make these tasty salty treats.

~~~ byob summer 2020 ~~~ sig responsibly ~~~ i hope you enjoy my sig ~~~ please dont kangaroo jack what you cant kangaroo give back. ~~~

# ? Aug 24, 2017 17:15

google THIS

I am actually very accurate and wonderfully efficient at hammering. I just didn't care for the way my thumbnail looked and decided to start over with a new one.

# ? Aug 24, 2017 20:02

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

I don't have a sunburn, you philistine, I'm this red because I'm furious my skin is peeling. I hate beaches, and never have I sunbathed on one.

crimes

# ? Aug 24, 2017 20:51

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

Pfft, if this were a normal guitar, maybe it'd be missing a string, but for your information, this is actually a massive 5 stringed ukelele, and i'm the only person on earth who can play it right.

crimes

# ? Aug 24, 2017 20:52

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

Well, I suppose I could see how, from your limited mindset, I was "premature", but rest assured that I have a PowerPoint prepared for this very misunderstanding that breaks down how that was, in fact, the optimal time to ejaculate.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 10:37

Allie

but this particular laughing is a gesture to join in a kind of shared happiness. make fun is mischaracterization. let's all laugh with you. preferably the more the better. there is ignorance here not; only a childlike happiness emanating toward a crowd of likeminded netizens.

we're all just like you lesser munch relation

# ? Aug 25, 2017 13:38

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Why the hell would I wear safety glasses when it's pretty drat obvious I'm planning on doing something unsafe!

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Aug 25, 2017 15:30

Android Blues

Jolo posted:

Oh, I see the misunderstanding. You thought these were Snickerdoodles, when actually they're my new savory take on the cookie, Saltydoodles. They're supposed to taste incredibly salty and gently caress up your vision and heart rate. It's silly that you thought I accidentally put salt in instead of sugar. Watch as I eat 3 more of these Saltydoodles to show just how much I meant to make these tasty salty treats.

google THIS posted:

I am actually very accurate and wonderfully efficient at hammering. I just didn't care for the way my thumbnail looked and decided to start over with a new one.

Jedrick posted:

Well, I suppose I could see how, from your limited mindset, I was "premature", but rest assured that I have a PowerPoint prepared for this very misunderstanding that breaks down how that was, in fact, the optimal time to ejaculate.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 15:31

AverySpecialfriend: by Hand Knit

Okay, I understand your alarm about my dangling thumb and forefinger, but did you stop to consider that I was trying to saw off my fingers? I mean, what do I look like, somebody who doesn't understand proper circular saw safety? That's a really rude assumption... I gotta get back to removing my fingers, so please take your negativity somewhere else.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 16:18

DragQueenofAngmar: You shall not pass!

listen, it might look like i shed all my limbs as distractions and fled when that cold-eyed killer said "hey there" at me, but when u find out what really happened, hoo boy i tell u what

# ? Aug 27, 2017 15:04

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# ? May 5, 2024 00:55

google THIS

You're concerned that I rubbed my eyes immediately after chopping up ghost peppers? I'm concerned that you haven't.

# ? Aug 27, 2017 21:35

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > my shoes were untied on purpose, and I actually meant to trip over them