Randy and Pam answer YOUR questions about love, dating, and sex!

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FactsAreUseless

# ? Oct 7, 2017 14:28

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# ? May 4, 2024 03:05

Manifisto

hi randy and pam, thanks for being here! my girlfriend and I are having a real doozy of a dispute. I feel that sex without a condom is much more pleasurable, and it should be safe because she is on the pill, we've both been tested, and we are in a committed monogamous relationship. she feels that earth has 4 days simultaneous each rotation, and that I erroneously measure time from 1 corner. who's right???

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Oct 7, 2017 15:28

FactsAreUseless

# ? Oct 7, 2017 15:40

Sprue: please send nudes

hey pam, i don't want to be weird about this, but i'm curious as to what wearing your wedding band on your pinkie finger means? does it have something to do with swinging? because i have a p sick tire swing in my back that you could come take a ride on anytime if you want. leave your husband at home tho.

# ? Oct 7, 2017 15:41

FactsAreUseless

# ? Oct 7, 2017 15:45

Manifisto

FactsAreUseless posted:

thanks!! I passed your wisdom along to sharon, who says "Earth body 4 corner time equals 4 leg mobility."

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Oct 7, 2017 15:59

Uria aalge: Chi-la-la-la-lax

Dear Randy and Pam, thank you for taking the time to answer OUR questions. I was wondering whether you knew anything about a portal leading to the Tantric Dimension. Asking for a friend.

Thank you for the winter sig, Heather Papps!

Thanks for the summer sig, ChubbyChecker!

"Nobody owns life, but everyone who can pick up a frying pan owns death" - Kurt Cobain

# ? Oct 7, 2017 16:20

FactsAreUseless

# ? Oct 7, 2017 16:23

Manifisto

dick stuck in vcr, pls help

# ? Oct 7, 2017 16:41

FactsAreUseless

# ? Oct 7, 2017 16:47

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

Hi Randy, hi Pam.

My girlfriend sat me down and told be she's s little bored with our love life. She wants to start experimenting in the bedroom. I told her I feel a little uncomfortable with this but she's insisting. I've just heard way too many horror stories about mixing bleach and ammonia and it's the first experiment she wants to do. I'd feel more comfortable starting with a baking soda volcano. What can we do?

# ? Oct 7, 2017 17:12

FactsAreUseless

# ? Oct 7, 2017 17:26

little munchkin

Dear Randy and Pam,

What does sex feel like?

-LM

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Oct 7, 2017 17:47

Macnult

Hi Pam,

I remember you mentioning how Randy is the 'observer' type. If so, you can totally bring him over tonight.

Your lil' honey bee,
Macnult

# ? Oct 7, 2017 21:23

Android Blues

Manifisto posted:

hi randy and pam, thanks for being here! my girlfriend and I are having a real doozy of a dispute. I feel that sex without a condom is much more pleasurable, and it should be safe because she is on the pill, we've both been tested, and we are in a committed monogamous relationship. she feels that earth has 4 days simultaneous each rotation, and that I erroneously measure time from 1 corner. who's right???

# ? Oct 7, 2017 22:58

FactsAreUseless

little munchkin posted:

Dear Randy and Pam,

What does sex feel like?

-LM

# ? Oct 7, 2017 23:54

Olive!: It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

Butt stuff?

_{Thanks to HotSoapyBeard for the sig image!}

# ? Oct 8, 2017 01:04

Scaly Haylie

Why do I always get bad handjobs?

# ? Oct 8, 2017 01:58

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

*giggles* eating rear end?

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Oct 8, 2017 07:16

FactsAreUseless

Olive! posted:

Butt stuff?

Nosfereefer posted:

*giggles* eating rear end?

# ? Oct 8, 2017 14:52

FactsAreUseless

Lizard Wizard posted:

Why do I always get bad handjobs?

# ? Oct 8, 2017 14:54

Grandmother of Five: I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

Greetings. Long time listener, first time caller. I'd like to try out a sex thing, which should not be inherently embarrassing or degrading if you have anything resembling a healthy outlook on sex, but the way I phrase my question inadvertently reveals that I personally do consider this act to be extremely debasing, and that I am looking for a solution that is less based on open communication with my partner, and more like some kind of Pavlovian mind control or street magic trick.

If you could construe this act of extremely off-putting manipulation in a cutesy way, I would greatly appreciate it. As an aside, I am also running for a political office, and any tricks that may be applicable on a larger scale as social engineering would be most welcome.

# ? Oct 8, 2017 23:13

google THIS

Dear "Pamran" or "Panorama," as we affectionately called you back in youth group,

As part of my required premarital counseling, could you explain the rhythm method in as much uncomfortable detail as possible? Make sure you do the "checking the mucous" hand gesture way more than necessary.

# ? Oct 8, 2017 23:57

Grandmother of Five: I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

He- hello Randy and Pam. I, ah, I.. *my face turns beet-red, and I strain visibly from trying to phrase my question, now staring into the ground* If... My friend.. In the case of- *wipes brow, takes deep breath* Train A, traveling 70 miles per hour (mph), leaves Westford heading toward Eastford, 260 miles away. At the same time Train B, traveling 60 mph, leaves Eastford heading toward Westford. When do the two trains meet? How far from each city do they meet?

*a sudden look of realization flashes on my face* Additionally, my partner and I are on the trains and we're in relationship, so you must answer.

# ? Oct 9, 2017 11:41

Grandmother of Five: I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

*swings by on rope, wildly swinging a scimitar* I wish for unlimited relationship advice!

# ? Oct 9, 2017 11:53

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

hello my gf is a 65 thousand metric ton japanese battleship

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Oct 9, 2017 12:15

Manifisto

Nosfereefer posted:

hello my gf is a 65 thousand metric ton japanese battleship

that doesnt sound like a question

# ? Oct 9, 2017 13:59

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

i'll be the first to admit its more of a humble brag

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Oct 9, 2017 14:23

Android Blues

Randy...Pam...how do I get out of this place? Please, someone answer me. I don't know if there's anyone else still left.

# ? Oct 9, 2017 15:22

Android Blues

Pam - what does the Jehovan Lion sigil mean? It's all over the walls in the small sealed chamber I'm typing this from. Figure this is a "woman's intuition" type question so I'd prefer if Randy took a back seat on this one.

# ? Oct 9, 2017 15:23

Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

# ? Oct 9, 2017 15:28

blaise rascal: "Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Pearl...."

Grandmother of Five posted:

Greetings. Long time listener, first time caller. I'd like to try out a sex thing, which should not be inherently embarrassing or degrading if you have anything resembling a healthy outlook on sex, but the way I phrase my question inadvertently reveals that I personally do consider this act to be extremely debasing, and that I am looking for a solution that is less based on open communication with my partner, and more like some kind of Pavlovian mind control or street magic trick.

If you could construe this act of extremely off-putting manipulation in a cutesy way, I would greatly appreciate it. As an aside, I am also running for a political office, and any tricks that may be applicable on a larger scale as social engineering would be most welcome.

ty vanisher, ty khanstant

# ? Oct 9, 2017 16:48

Macnult

Putty posted:

# ? Oct 9, 2017 19:34

lmbo calrissian: i'm into fashion
men are my passion

Please respond faster, these posters all emulate questions i've had or have now regarding s ex

# ? Oct 9, 2017 21:36

Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

Did Randy and Pam die from too much sex???

# ? Oct 11, 2017 15:36

Bacon Taco: Now with extra narwhal meat!
HAIKOOLIGAN

Dear Randy and Pam,

I enjoy sexing with my partner in both missionary and doggy positions, occasionally trying a new way for positioning our bodies. Am I a sex weird?

Curious in California