quote:

First off, I feel ridiculous writing this. I 30M recently moved into a new rental with my wife 29F of 5 years. When we moved in, we didn't realize the previous tenant had left 2 of her cats. They slowly started showing up after we moved in. My wife loves cats and took to them immediately. She has also taken in another stray and now is basically the primary caregiver for our neighbors cat as well (now she has 3-4 cats total depending on how you look at it). She feeds them throughout the day and plays with them. She also carries them around and kisses them 100+ times a day. She will leave the cats in her lap while we watch TV and just rub her face up and down the cat and kiss it. I feel like she is borderline Angela from The Office.

I'm not positive, but I think I have some form of Ailurophobia (fear of cats). I don't like them, I have no desire to touch them and I find them kind of disgusting. I'm afraid they will attack me sometimes, they have tried in the past. My wife now has scars on her arms and chest from feeding them and holding them. I now get cat hair in my food occasionally from the cats being around so much and I have to throw the food out, even thinking of their hair in my food makes me wince. I recently had to tell my wife she can't let the cats on our bed, bedroom or furniture, it was just too much. This hurt her I think as she doesn't get how someone could not love them. I'm not certain she complies with this rule anyways while I'm at work. She holds the cat in her lap still while we watch movies because it's not technically on the couch. It is however on her and the blanket.

Anyways, now to the part I'm having issues with. Because she rubs this cat up and down her face and kisses it, it makes me less sexually attracted to her. She is a beautiful woman and I find her very psychically attractive, but I can't stop thinking about her rubbing her face on these cats and then it getting on me. Oh god it is so nasty having to write about this.

How do I move forward? She knows I hate the cats and tolerate them for her sake. I haven't told her I'm losing sexual interest in her over this. If I did, I think it would break her heart. Do I need to see a medical professional to get over my fear/hate of cats? Asking my wife to get rid of these cats isn't an option for me. They are one of the best parts of her life.