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The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Elaborate ways to call out from work
 
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Munchables

Ask/tell me about legal cannibalism

 Sorry boss, I can't come in today, accidentally fell off a bridge into a vat of acid, gotta live a life of crime for a bit.

Oops, I'm sick Mr manager sir, seems like somebody ordered a Craigslist hit on me and now my legs is gone.

Well golly dang, after unintentionally running myself over with my car I'ma need at least a few days before I can come in, gosh.

* # ? Feb 11, 2018 21:20
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# ? May 26, 2024 15:33
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wearing a lampshade

 I wish I could come in, but i discovered that time is a flat circle and I've not only already gone in, but I'm still there and will always be both there and not there for eternity. So technically I guess I'm working from home.

* # ? Feb 11, 2018 21:23
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Munchables

Ask/tell me about legal cannibalism

 Sorry boss, somebody handcuffed me to the door and I can't quiiiiiiite reach the key. Yeah, I've been alone in the house all day.

* # ? Feb 11, 2018 21:25
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Munchables

Ask/tell me about legal cannibalism

 I'm not gonna be able to come in, this book is really good!

* # ? Feb 11, 2018 21:27
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FreshCutFries

 *speaking into a tin can attached to string i ran across town attached to another tin can i grappling hooked into what i hope is my boss' office window and not a bathroom*

"yeah, uh, i can't come into work today"

* # ? Feb 11, 2018 21:29
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FreshCutFries

 skywriting that i'm too sick to come into work but little does my boss know im actually taking skywriting lessons

* # ? Feb 11, 2018 21:31
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FreshCutFries

 showign up gradually later and later every day over the course of 2 years until you're finally fired to get out of work the next day

* # ? Feb 11, 2018 21:33
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Munchables

Ask/tell me about legal cannibalism

 *trying to spell out "I'm sick, boss" with traffic jammed cars on the freeway but I accidentally spell "Marry me Brenda!" instead*

* # ? Feb 11, 2018 21:33
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Fredrik1

Gopherslayer
:rock:
Hello, boss, I just called to say I love you, no wait I mean, I called to say I'm sick, sick! yes that's what I meant!

* # ? Feb 11, 2018 22:05
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Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
*beep!*

Yeah hi it's me I woke up in a bathtub full of ice. AGAIN. They took a kidney. AGAIN. Anyway see if one of the other guys can cover for me until I can figure something out. Thanks!

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

* # ? Feb 11, 2018 22:08
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Fredrik1

Gopherslayer
:rock:
Hello, I have internet at home now meaning I don't need to come into work to browse youtube, I'll be back in if they dig the cable up again.

* # ? Feb 11, 2018 22:25
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Fredrik1

Gopherslayer
:rock:
Hello, I've been taken hostage by rebels and they are holding me hostage in a basement in Venezuela, I need to put down the phone they are threatening me with AK47s.

Also an identical clone of me has taken my place and might be seen visiting the KISS concert, just so you know.

I'll be back Monday.

* # ? Feb 11, 2018 22:31
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Slush Garbo

FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK
Call in a half hour after work starts. When your boss answers ask them what they're doing there, tell them it's a holiday, everybody's supposed to be off, and you were just checking your voicemail.

* # ? Feb 11, 2018 23:57
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Putty

HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS
"call out" my boss to an epic rap battle at the B-Ball court at 8AM (i don't show up)

* # ? Feb 12, 2018 00:02
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Koishi Komeiji



 Pro tip: Call in sick in advance so you don't have to come up with crazy excuses at the last second.

* # ? Feb 12, 2018 00:41
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Munchables

Ask/tell me about legal cannibalism

Koishi Komeiji posted:

Pro tip: Call in sick in advance so you don't have to come up with crazy excuses at the last second.

Hey so, I'm probably gonna be sick in a couple months, but I'll let you know if my plans change.

* # ? Feb 12, 2018 00:47
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Fredrik1

Gopherslayer
:rock:
Yo man, this is totally sick..

* # ? Feb 12, 2018 01:18
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lllllllllllllllllll

Now the scene's lighting is perfect!
hye i can't come in because i suck. not, not sick, I SUCK. not literary though, metaphorical, you see, i am not really happy with the way i am and you know i decided this was it. bye.

* # ? Feb 12, 2018 15:54
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# ? May 26, 2024 15:33
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Gay Weed Dad

cool dude, flyin' high
Throw open your windows and call out to anyone within earshot that you are " not feelin' it today!" If questioned by the boss the following day, say something cool and flirty like "smooth move, ex-lax"

* # ? Feb 12, 2018 17:38
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Elaborate ways to call out from work