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fruit on the bottom posted:Jesus is the guy who gives out the blue checkmarks, isn’t he? I'll give you a blue checkmark up your rear end
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Jul 9, 2018 21:00
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Lowtax posted:I'll give you a blue checkmark Whoa is that an extra $10?
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Jul 9, 2018 21:03
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Lowtax posted:I'll give you a blue checkmark is this what "turn the other cheek" means?
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Jul 9, 2018 21:03
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Lowtax posted:What I'm trying to ultimately get at here is that when the nomination for the next Jesus comes around, I do not only expect to be on the short list, but I expect to WIN. Oh you'll be first in line for the crucification, don't you worry your pretty little head about that
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Jul 9, 2018 21:04
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Lowtax posted:I'll give you a blue checkmark I know this is a threat, but I’m really just happy for the attention.
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Jul 9, 2018 21:05
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Hard to look down on a guy who's like 8 feet up in the air. I mean I don't even think Matthew Mcconaughey is that tall
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Jul 9, 2018 21:08
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Dolphin posted:Hard to look down on a guy who's like 8 feet up in the air. I mean I don't even think Matthew Mcconaughey is that tall That's what I love about our Lord and savior, man. We keep getting shorter, he stays the same height. E. Heh heh heh heh
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Jul 9, 2018 21:10
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Lowtax posted:He turned water into wine and killed thousands from dehydration. See, but whatever god does is good by definition so checkmate
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Jul 9, 2018 21:18
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Capri Sun Tzu posted:Because he was hung like thiiiiiiis *spreads arms wide mimicking the crucifixion* 
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Jul 9, 2018 21:19
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i guess luck. Jesus wasn't the only "messiah" at the time, there were tons of weird hosed over peasent preachers and rebels wandering about screaming for the return of the good old days. its just jesus had better PR men. when he got killed, his followers told some big story about how he came back and floated away after 40 days or some poo poo. most of his followers are happy to keep their weird jewish sect in the region or jewish communities with peter and few others. then paul, some hypocritical broke brained rear end in a top hat shows up and says jesus talked to him and he is acutaly the best apostle, he gets into a bunch of fights with the original appostles and then they get lucky again and start spreading their bullshit to bored rich romans and poor romans and twist the story more. eventually. it becomes a major religion.
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Jul 9, 2018 21:27
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Luvcow posted:i never really thought about that when i saw the movie as a kid but now it makes so much more sense in a really progressive and ground breaking way What if he could turn water into wieners
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Jul 9, 2018 21:32
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OP missed one thing about Jesus: master of watersports
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Jul 9, 2018 21:34
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Kak posted:What if he could turn water into wieners
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Jul 9, 2018 21:49
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Lowtax posted:Cooking weiners in water is ghetto rear end poo poo, you grill them dawgs Just an opinion here but steamed wieners are really good because you can't gently caress them up and they get a nice even cook while remaining juicy while grilled wieners can easily get hosed up, burnt, dry or charred crinkly skin.
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Jul 9, 2018 21:53
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Lowtax posted:Cooking weiners in water is ghetto rear end poo poo, you grill them dawgs Boil, dry, broil. Grilling is cool too though. But a broiled dog on a pretzle bun with stone ground mustard and kimchi is way danker.
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Jul 9, 2018 21:54
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People look up to a fictional character loosely based on Jeshua. American jesus is more like santa claus, a folklore character co opted by multinational corporations. It's like if a cult formed around Ronald McDonald and over centuries it became a world religion. That actually happened with mormons. and JWs, and so many other splinter cults. People keep turning lovely fan fiction into religions.
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Jul 9, 2018 22:06
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Millions of Crows posted:People look up to a fictional character loosely based on Jeshua. American jesus is more like santa claus, a folklore character co opted by multinational corporations. It's like if a cult formed around Ronald McDonald and over centuries it became a world religion. That actually happened with mormons. and JWs, and so many other splinter cults. People keep turning lovely fan fiction into religions. Holy poo poo, thank you. :catgonk:
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Jul 9, 2018 22:06
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Millions of Crows posted:People look up to a fictional character loosely based on Jeshua. American jesus is more like santa claus, a folklore character co opted by multinational corporations. It's like if a cult formed around Ronald McDonald and over centuries it became a world religion. That actually happened with mormons. and JWs, and so many other splinter cults. People keep turning lovely fan fiction into religions.
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Jul 9, 2018 22:09
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L Ron at least worked harder on his bullshit than Jesus and he had a boat.
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Jul 9, 2018 22:17
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old beast lunatic posted:L Ron at least worked harder on his bullshit than Jesus and he had a boat.
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Jul 9, 2018 22:19
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Jul 9, 2018 22:22
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Jebus is not a ghost. His body came back to life. Then he hosed off to heaven in his body
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Jul 9, 2018 22:30
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Lowtax posted:I personally think John Saxon was cooler. Uh, yeah, look at the dude.     
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Jul 10, 2018 03:11
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Detective Thompson posted:Uh, yeah, look at the dude. John Saxton was a cool as dude. The J'man pretty cool though.
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Jul 10, 2018 03:25
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