- google THIS
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*moans loudly but unconvincingly every 30 seconds that I don't receive Vicodin*
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#
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Dec 31, 2018 18:54
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 2, 2024 11:55
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- google THIS
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*generally behaves like Granny Clampett*
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#
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Dec 31, 2018 18:55
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- google THIS
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*generally behaves like Granny Clampett except with slurred speech and an utter lack of coherency*
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#
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Dec 31, 2018 18:57
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- google THIS
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*coughs like Jabba the Hutt trying to expel a hairball*
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Dec 31, 2018 18:58
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- Farecoal
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There he go
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"how am i supposed to post on byob without wifi???"
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#
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Dec 31, 2018 20:45
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- Macnult
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Taking a break from bloodcurdling screams of agony to talk about the weather and joke about the long wait times and smile but then it becomes a grimace and oh my god it hurts please make it stop I’m in so much pain what did I do to deserve this
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#
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Dec 31, 2018 20:49
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- Macnult
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look man all I’m saying is that it’s bullshit to have your kid sitting here playing their Switch when they don’t have to be here and you’re not even making them take turns
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Dec 31, 2018 20:54
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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*invites tons of guests to come visit and say its ok for them to stay longer when its obvious they should have already left hours ago*
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#
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Dec 31, 2018 23:11
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- vanisher
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In the waiting room for a routine flu shot, but I'm wearing one of those surgical masks so everyone is kinda worried I have Ebola and I'll give it to them.
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#
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Jan 1, 2019 01:13
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- vanisher
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Clipping my nails in the hospital bed, but I dont have a trashcan nearby, so you just know they are going to get everywhere and make a huge mess.
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#
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Jan 1, 2019 01:15
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- Macnult
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Repeating the last part of a Fugazi song over and over again
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#
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Jan 1, 2019 01:43
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- FluffieDuckie
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I’m senile and doped up on drugs so when you fall asleep I’m going to wander into your hospital room and start rifling through your things.
Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!
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#
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Jan 1, 2019 01:53
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- google THIS
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Having a loud phone conversation about every gross detail of my problem, but abruptly dropping my voice (not enough) whenever I talk about what meds I'm on, because privacy is important.
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Jan 1, 2019 03:46
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- unidef freeman
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by R. Guyovich
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Hot Chinese girl with cotton pajamas
Chinese girl, cotton pajamas. She looked at me like I was a spring chicken, and I was like uhh you know this is Oakland right?
----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Jan 1, 2019 04:08
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- Starshark
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:shits the bed:
Ah, the nurse'll get that.
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Jan 1, 2019 08:36
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- Bert Roberge
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Nurse! Nurse! I need more vicodin! I'm almost lucid!
Realtalk: my grandma was in the same hospital wing as Stephen King after he got hit by a van.
We had to be patted down by security before being allowed to see her.
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Jan 1, 2019 10:07
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- Dungeon Ecology
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*flatlines*
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Jan 2, 2019 00:48
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- Fredrik1
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Gopherslayer
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*Plays ExciteBike on the hospitals only NES*
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#
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Jan 2, 2019 09:21
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- Android Blues
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me: ugghh ugh im dying. im seriously ill and im dying. im not contagious its just sad to watch me suffer. im in a lot of pain and the waiting times are too long to relieve my pain effectively.
you (gesturing with a thumb at me): THIS fuckin' person
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#
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Jan 2, 2019 16:52
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- Barking Gecko
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Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."
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me: ugghh ugh im dying. im seriously ill and im dying. im not contagious its just sad to watch me suffer. im in a lot of pain and the waiting times are too long to relieve my pain effectively.
you (gesturing with a thumb at me): THIS fuckin' person
I had this guy as a hospital roommate once. To be fair, he was in a lot of pain, because he had a skull fracture & concussion, suffered when he was goofing off and fell off a loading dock railing onto a concrete driveway - headfirst. He was so annoying they moved him elsewhere without my even saying anything. I was afraid to ask where he went.
Note: always be nice to the nursing staff, because they are the people who take care of you. You want them to actually respond when you call. I once had a nurse save my life by calling a code, and then convincing the resident to give me more epinephrine. The resident was worried about my heart rate, but the nurse reminded him that if I couldn't breathe, the heart thing was kind of secondary.
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#
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Jan 2, 2019 20:10
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- canyoneer
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I only have canyoneyes for you
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whispering to everyone else in the er waiting room, trying to find out how long they've been waiting.
getting all my facts straight before i go yell at the triage nurse that i've been here for almost 2 hours and that guy only showed up 20 minutes ago and you already took him back what the hell?!
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Jan 3, 2019 04:33
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- Peg Sliderskew
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"Hi mum. I'm in hospital still. I said I'M IN HOSPITAL STILL! No, the doctor's not been round yet. DOCTOR'S NOT BEEN ROUND YET! I might need surgery though. SURGERY! YES, FOR MY FIBROIDS! Is Dad there? Hi dad, yeah I'm in hospital still. I was just saying to mum the doctor's not been round yet. THE DOCTOR!'
Repeat ad infinitum to a numberless crowd of relatives, friends and co workers.
Then again when they all come in to visit at the same time.
Courtesy of Manifisto
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#
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Jan 4, 2019 18:08
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 2, 2024 11:55
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- Pinche Rudo
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*lights up a massive blunt*. Man gotta get my meds, doctor's orders
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#
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Jan 5, 2019 00:23
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#
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Dec 31, 2018 18:54
) but is very obviously asleep*
