(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
|
Pitcher Witcher posted:That's an awful situation. My parent went through something similar to your wife though they went in patient many times until they found a cocktail of medicine that worked for their mental illnesses. They were also struggling with drug abuse. I had group therapy and a therapist through my college at the time and it helped immensely. The feelings you described echoed what that time was like for me. It's so hard to see them go through the cycles and wash out the same or worse than before and besides your support there's nothing else you can do and it's very frustrating. They have to do it. Yeah I think we're at the inpatient point, because honestly not much could be worse than this. She hasn't ever had a drug abuse problem, if anything it's hard to get her to take anything, at least more than once. Once I or a doctor manage to convince her to take something to try to help her, she will always find some sort of side effect later that prompts a panic attack and then she won't take it anymore. She's super afraid of benzo addiction, especially after the Ativan experience, but it's honestly the only class of drug that ever has any impact on her symptoms. It's the only thing that has gotten her to calm down for any period of time. I feel like she just needs to roll with a benzo until she can be calm enough to get established on a proper medication, and then wean off the benzo. But she's convinced that if she does commit to taking the benzos, her docs will just one day decide they don't wanna prescribe it anymore and then she'll go through full withdrawals, which can be deadly. It's not like she's unaware of her condition, either. She knows how irrational she is being, but still cannot stop her brain from being in a permanent panic state. When she's not numbing her brain with rewatching old sitcoms, she's watching YouTube therapists talking about health anxiety, or blasting binaural beats in her ears, or any number of other things to try to calm down.
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2024 13:00
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 21:31 |
|
|
Ytlaya posted:This is awful. My dad is like a less extreme version of your wife, and it's incredibly stressful trying to manage his attitudes towards health stuff. In his case there's the additional factor of the health issues sometimes being real, but often completely different from whatever he's complaining about, which puts me in the unenviable position of having to figure things out. Like a few weeks ago when he kept telling the healthcare workers at the ER about his flu and some completely unrelated issue with his diaphragm, when the actual emergency was that his bladder was not voiding. If I wasn't there to repeatedly emphasize this I don't know what would have happened. We're constantly having situations where she thinks some medication she just started is causing heart palpitations, we'll go in to the ER, and they'll be like "yeah you stopped drinking for like a day, you're dehydrated." Its incredibly frustrating. I'm trying to be supportive but a lot of the time the issues she's going in for are things she inadvertently causes herself. And at this point of not having had meaningful sleep or eating well for weeks, her body is exhausted and breaking down. All her symptoms now, as far as I can figure, are from that. She has the migraines as a preexisting condition, but I'm sure she's been exacerbating those symptoms as well by being so worked up all the time. But yeah I'm just not sure how to cope, myself. It just seems like it will never end until one of her symptoms kills her.
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2024 13:08
|
|
|
thehandtruck posted:there's something else going on with your wife. pattern of med/treatment resistance, problems, avoidance. those are usually things people with bipolar 2 (or 1) present with a lot imo. lot of addict behavior as well. obsession, addiction to intensity/panic attacks etc. why isnt she in therapy, why arent you? u guys seem very codependent as well, what with her roping you into her chaos and you enabling a ton of that. assuming everything in your post is factually correct and nothing is left out, if she's non functional, very long term in-patient seems logical. it sounds like she needs a very high level of care right now, and knowing she's being taken care of, you'll sleep better than you have in years. i mean, what she is doing and you are enabling is unsustainable, right? co sleeping with your child too, oof, id be worried she's dumping her anxiety into your kid and hoping to get dopamine in return, similar to you. your family is completely out of balance. Well we're finally getting to the point of considering in patient commitment. She has tried therapists, as have I, without much success. Regarding the co-sleeping, it's something I've communicated to her in no uncertain way on multiple occasions that I am not okay with, both for my daughters health and my own. But I simply haven't taken it to the point of making it a knockdown drag out fight until I got my way. We were dealing with PPD at the time and I had to pick my battle, so the situation has just developed as it has developed. It's honestly the least of my concerns right now. And any enabling of her health anxiety has just been supporting her visiting the doctor when she feels symptoms. I'm not going to tell her not to go and then be the guy that kept his wife home while she had a stroke or whatever. Because the annoying thing in all of this is that she has had legitimate issues sprinkled among the imaginary ones. I have to be better safe than sorry, so if she feels a need to see a doctor, go see one. But yeah, I do know this is unsustainable, which is why I posted. It's not like we haven't been constantly trying different tactics. But nothing can defeat a brain that's convinced it's dying, apparently. Which, ironically, is the entire summation of all health anxiety therapists - the repeating theme in every video or podcast that I've noticed is them saying that you can't stop it, and you just have to figure out how to accept it, but not a single one seems to have the answer of how to actually do that. Just stop not wanting to die?
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2024 13:24
|
|
|
Organic Lube User posted:Well we're finally getting to the point of considering in patient commitment. She has tried therapists, as have I, without much success. Regarding the co-sleeping, it's something I've communicated to her in no uncertain way on multiple occasions that I am not okay with, both for my daughters health and my own. But I simply haven't taken it to the point of making it a knockdown drag out fight until I got my way. We were dealing with PPD at the time and I had to pick my battle, so the situation has just developed as it has developed. It's honestly the least of my concerns right now. And any enabling of her health anxiety has just been supporting her visiting the doctor when she feels symptoms. I'm not going to tell her not to go and then be the guy that kept his wife home while she had a stroke or whatever. Because the annoying thing in all of this is that she has had legitimate issues sprinkled among the imaginary ones. I have to be better safe than sorry, so if she feels a need to see a doctor, go see one. But yeah, I do know this is unsustainable, which is why I posted. It's not like we haven't been constantly trying different tactics. But nothing can defeat a brain that's convinced it's dying, apparently. There's so much here, i don't know where to begin. we all enable in different ways. but anyway, the point is, if she's non functional, there's nothing that a podcast or video is going to do. she's in complete chaos and you're kind of legitimizing her insanity because of what im guessing is some family roles stuff, savior poo poo or whatever i dunno, doesn't really matter. in a couple years, you should look into that for yourself. here's the answer to your bolded question: first she needs to get her brain in a more manageable state. medication so her amygdala is not flipped in the ON position, which it has probably been most of her life but it's coming to a head now. then, after years of therapy, she processes the trauma that led to her to not feeling safe ever, no matter where she is or what's doing. that's like, a year down the road, you can't address that right now because her body is in a constant state of flight or fight. she cant rest and cant think clearly if there's a catch22 that she's too anxious to take anti anxiety medication, then yes like you said she needs to be admitted, or you can continue on as you are.
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2024 15:33
|
|
|
Again, not sure how I'm legitimizing her insanity. She has legitimate health issues happening among the imagined ones, so I have to err on the side of letting the doctors decide there's nothing wrong with her, since I am no expert. When her issues come up (all the time lately), I always address it as soberly as I can by telling her that I think she is not having an actual health crisis when her heart rate drops by 5 bpm from her average. But I also will not stand in her way in terms of getting to a doctor, that seems dangerous to me. I can advise, but I cannot restrain. But I want to get her to the right doctor. The ER docs are similarly unequipped to handle this.
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2024 15:42
|
|
|
Organic Lube User posted:We're constantly having situations where she thinks some medication she just started is causing heart palpitations, we'll go in to the ER, and they'll be like "yeah you stopped drinking for like a day, you're dehydrated." Its incredibly frustrating. This exact thing happened with my dad a few years ago! He actually ended up in renal failure due to the dehydration (though it was addressed by IV hydration).
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2024 17:52
|
|
|
Inpatient inpatient inpatient for her, therapy therapy therapy for you
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2024 10:16
|
|
|
drive-thru psychiatric evaluations
|
|
#
?
Apr 13, 2024 19:07
|
|
|
Hey, taking Xanax just on the weekends shouldn't result in a physical addiction, right? That seems to be when I need them most so I think if I just keep it to those times I should stay clear of the bad withdrawals if/when I stop taking them.
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2024 02:19
|
|
|
Organic Lube User posted:Hey, taking Xanax just on the weekends shouldn't result in a physical addiction, right? That seems to be when I need them most so I think if I just keep it to those times I should stay clear of the bad withdrawals if/when I stop taking them. This sort of plan has a very high chance of resulting in addiction/dependence somewhere down the line. I think most people who end up dependent on a substance began with a similar schedule of limited use (including me with opiates many years ago, with the same initial "weekends only" rule - I think it took well over half of a year for my use to actually become daily, but it was always the inevitable outcome). It only takes one time when you're stressed out on a weekday and your resolve falters, and then it becomes easier to justify in the future. In general it's usually a bad idea to use benzo medications to manage any sort of chronic anxiety - they're best when only used for emergencies or uncommon situations (like if someone needs them when flying on a plane, or for occasional panic attacks). If at all possible, the best idea is probably to seek out some solution other than Xanax/benzos for dealing with anxiety. I know that's a lot easier said than done, but you really don't want to deal with the potential bad outcome here. (Also, subjectively, I feel like regular use, even with a ~5 day gap between each use like this, leads to some limited level of dependence, where you'll find yourself feeling a bit worse during the times when you aren't taking the substance; like your brain still adjusts to it to some extent)
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2024 10:47
|
|
|
Yeah I ain't got time for that right now, benzos it will have to be, I gotta be functional for my kid. Thanks though. I take the smallest dose and never double up. I just force myself to deal with the anxiety and panic during the week, but the weekend is when I'm most exposed to my triggers. I already guilt myself enough over having to use an addictive medication, thanks.
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2024 17:48
|
|
|
Good luckOrganic Lube User posted:Yeah I ain't got time for that right now, benzos it will have to be, I gotta be functional for my kid. Thanks though. you asked a question, you got a polite and thorough answer you didn't like. guilt really doesn't have anything to do with it but vaya con dios
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2024 18:10
|
|
|
My primary doctor prescribed Adderall for ADHD. I took 5 mg ER, upped to 10, and I think 15 before I felt too anxious and went back down in reverse. No problem getting off it after about six to eight months total. Afterwards I kind of realized that the anxiety wasn't even from the Adderall, just experiences, but I got an appointment with a psychiatrist who gave me Qelbree. I felt AWFUL on it and decided I'd go back on the Adderall. The psychiatrist said that'd be fine. I have some fear of medication from terrible experiences with SSRIs as a teenager, which the Qelbree experience brought back. What's the difference between addictive and non-addictive medicine? I was told the withdrawal from Qelbree (and others I'm on) is some of the worst effects imaginable, so how's that different than a scheduled drug like Adderall? I'm glad Qelbree didn't work out, because it's hard to get - I have to order from a mail-order pharmacy - so if I ran out I'd be in deep poo poo and couldn't just run out to Walgreens or CVS for a refill.
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2024 21:28
|
|
|
I'm trying to eat three square meals a day and plenty of sleep. Not exactly improving my mood but I feel stable more often.
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2024 00:25
|
|
|
Organic Lube User posted:Yeah I ain't got time for that right now, benzos it will have to be, I gotta be functional for my kid. Thanks though. If you're going to be going this route (which I do understand - sometimes there aren't really any good options), one way you can at least significantly reduce the risk is by simply ensuring that you don't have enough to use it more frequently. If a doctor is prescribing, you can ask for an amount that is "enough to use on just the weekends, but not enough to use more often than that" (and the same also works if a doctor isn't involved, though requires a bit more self-discipline). And, if possible, it can help to give someone else control over dispensing it (this might not be an option for you, but if you have an SO or any other trustworthy adults you live with they could maybe do this). Basically you just want to preemptively make it harder for yourself to change your dose/frequency later. The idea is that, whenever a lovely weekday comes when you really wish you could take some Xanax, there's some barrier there to make it more difficult (either in the form of "awkwardly needing to ask someone" or "knowing that if you do this you'll end up running short later"). I would also try to talk with a doctor/psychiatrist/psychologist/whatever about other options whenever it becomes doable for you, even if it's a year+ from now. Basically just try to keep in mind that the long-term goal is some sort of treatment that doesn't require benzodiazepines. And believe me, it has nothing to do with guilt or judgement. No one who has dealt with this kind of thing wants other people to experience it.
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2024 02:14
|
|
|
SardonicTyrant posted:I'm trying to eat three square meals a day and plenty of sleep. Not exactly improving my mood but I feel stable more often. Nice
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2024 05:13
|
|
|
Ytlaya posted:If you're going to be going this route (which I do understand - sometimes there aren't really any good options), one way you can at least significantly reduce the risk is by simply ensuring that you don't have enough to use it more frequently. If a doctor is prescribing, you can ask for an amount that is "enough to use on just the weekends, but not enough to use more often than that" (and the same also works if a doctor isn't involved, though requires a bit more self-discipline). And, if possible, it can help to give someone else control over dispensing it (this might not be an option for you, but if you have an SO or any other trustworthy adults you live with they could maybe do this). Basically you just want to preemptively make it harder for yourself to change your dose/frequency later. The idea is that, whenever a lovely weekday comes when you really wish you could take some Xanax, there's some barrier there to make it more difficult (either in the form of "awkwardly needing to ask someone" or "knowing that if you do this you'll end up running short later"). Thanks, this was helpful. I'm already on the lowest dose and only get 15 pills a month, so it's not like I can take it daily for long. I usually have a few pills left at the end of each month. I just want to make sure that if my regular usage is so sparse as to be just on weekends, would that greatly reduce the likelihood of forming a physical dependence. I don't want run into the experience of having a weekend where I don't feel like I need it (lol that never happens), I don't have a loving seizure or whatever because of it. But if even that level of regularity (.5 - 1mg each weekend) can cause physical addiction, I'll go find something else I guess (lol nothing else touches the anxiety or helps me feel remotely normal like benzos so gently caress me). Believe me, I understand that this is not a long term solution, but I'd like to have at least one layer of anxiety less while trying to survive this poo poo. Sorry for snapping at the goon earlier, but it is one of the aforementioned weekends and I am in The poo poo. Just wasn't taking their message the right way and instead just saw it as "yeah here's why your one and only lifeline right now sucks, despite your post being entirely about avoiding addiction." If I was taking recreational doses I'd just go post in TCC. But I already have intrusive negative thoughts about how weak willed I am even when I take a pill after a whole week of abstaining. I just want some reassurance that a solid 5 days between doses will cut it for keeping me unhooked physiologically.
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2024 05:19
|
|
|
Speaking of anxiety I've been doing a hell of a lot better at managing the psychological symptoms- not going off on doom spirals, telling myself I'll think over stuff later when I'm less obviously messed up, etc. But I'm still stuck with attacks where my whole body just feels tense as poo poo, I can't sleep, and it's super uncomfortable. Sometimes it's inexplicable, sometimes it might have a cause (uh I had a second coffee with lunch and some sugar before bed?) but it's still a challenge physically. Doesn't help I had an outbreak of ringworm recently lol
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2024 06:01
|
|
|
I have an appointment for a consultation on Ketamine treatment. Does anyone have any personal stories of doing it in a medical setting? Searching through the thread found a lot of people wanting to do it or were looking into it but nothing about people actually doing it. Just looking for some anecdotal experiences to get a sense of what I would be in for. I will say I've never tried any sort of drug illicitly, so I don't even have a frame of reference for any similar type of disassociative or psychedelic experience. Related tangent, I live in Oregon so psilocybin is available. It would have been my preference but it's so brand new that I'd like to give it a few years to see if there's any glaring issues that arise. Jabberlock has issued a correction as of 01:16 on Apr 25, 2024 |
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2024 01:11
|
|
|
And now someone brought bed bugs into the house and my wife is freaking out having panic attacks over going into anaphylaxis from the bedbugs (she is not allergic to them). I'm stuck at work and cannot miss any more right now, especially when it's a panic attack over nothing. My thoughts are spiraling now and I can't focus on work at all.
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2024 17:57
|
|
|
We’re moving across the country and packed the truck yesterday and we’re on the road now. Our dog was barking at 1am and other people in the hotel could hear it and it was so triggering because my dad would get very angry when he got woken up and I was scared. It’s 6 and I haven’t been able to fall back asleep between the dog pushing into me and my wife snoring even after I got over the anxiety. Like ive never done so much physical labor in my life loading that truck and packing but I still haven’t been able to get any sleep. It was jet lag earlier this week because we went from east to west after getting the apartment, or just stress making me shoot awake at 2am for no reason. Now this, plus tons of driving so I can’t make it up, not like I can sleep during the day either. Plus I’m withdrawing from weed because I have to get a new job because of the move, my wife only transferred hers so there’s tons of it still around and in use. I just hate how throughout this process most of my attempts at self care get thwarted. I can’t sleep because either my body just refuses to cooperate or I have to get up early to drive/ catch a flight/go to appointments I don’t control, or the people we’re staying with have kids that stomp on the floor and sprint around the house before school (that would be anathema at my house due to the above), or the bed isn’t big enough for two. I’ve been wanting to get a hair cut for a month but there’s always something more important that has to happen or it’s too far out of the way or I don’t want to explain my trichotillomania spots to a new person, and my person loving cancelled my appointment this week and I’m literally out of town for good after yesterday. It looks like where we’re staying tonight will have only a small bed for us to share, so it looks like more of the same ahead, plus lots of forced socializing and no ability to control how I spend my time. I wouldn’t do this, but part of me was like “why don’t I just hork my adderall and drive the truck straight across the country in one go?”. sorry for the book, I had a lot of time on my hands.
|
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2024 14:58
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 21:31 |
|
|
Ugh, yeah, I've done one man moves too many times and even when I had help they sucked immensely, especially the driving afterwards.
|
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2024 15:04
|
|
