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Fellow travelers through time, I bring you one day of Tarot readings from a truly special deck. Space fairies have left it under my pillow the other night. Here's a sampling of a few cards. Ask a quick question and get a single card reading. If you want your own deck, I got mine through here. |
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Mar 3, 2019 20:57
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| # ? May 12, 2024 18:05 |
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how many times will i have to live the same day over until it ends (currently on 529) |
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Mar 3, 2019 21:01
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what will become of byob |
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Mar 3, 2019 21:07
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turn it up TURN ME ON posted:how many times will i have to live the same day over until it ends (currently on 529)  Card: Death Death. Interpretive bullshit: You are caught in the endless loop of Death Death. The only way to break the cycle is to go out and live a little. Good luck with day 530. Alternative: you forgot to type "break" or "return" 4271a2ae8bd049fea00dd70b6054d87d |
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Mar 3, 2019 21:17
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Which of these would win in a game of chess- someone who can see the future, or someone who can read minds?
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Mar 3, 2019 21:18
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opioid agonist posted:what will become of byob  Card: Meaningless Garbage. Interpretive bullshit: The denizens of byob will continue to contribute to the collective steam of bullshit, which shall be added unto to that giant sack of moldering rubble we all call the interweb. 4271a2ae8bd049fea00dd70b6054d87d |
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Mar 3, 2019 21:23
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Splatmaster posted:Which of these would win in a game of chess- someone who can see the future, or someone who can read minds?  Card: Sex Witch with Octopus. Interpretive bullshit: It would depend on the strength of will and initiative of the hapless wretch in either of those positions: each would come with its own challenges. Seeing into the future could mean getting caught in the endless recursion of seeing yourself seeing yourself seeing into the future, which might give you the advantage of your opponent thinking you are just really, really high. On the other hand if you can read minds, perhaps you can see that your opponent is having a mental wank, which really doesn't help you concentrate on the game, either. The Sex Witch invites you to choose your poison, but warns that it may lead to bullshit down either path. 4271a2ae8bd049fea00dd70b6054d87d |
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Mar 3, 2019 21:31
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pokie posted:
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Mar 3, 2019 21:31
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What's the deal with hair on my body, should I get rid of it all?
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Mar 3, 2019 21:32
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Awesome winter sig by Symbolic, love it!
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Dick Bastardly posted:What's the deal with hair on my body, should I get rid of it all?  Card: The Dildo Wizard. Interpretive bullshit: It's important to ask yourself: "do the hairs on my body bring me great joy?" If the answer is: "nah, I'm craving the smoothness," then the Dildo Wizard encourages you to pursue your passions. Because your hairs are your business, and you should always optimize your levels of hairiness for maximum joy. (And if the Smoothness does not bring as much joy as you've hoped, just let it grow back) 4271a2ae8bd049fea00dd70b6054d87d |
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Mar 3, 2019 21:42
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Should I keep smoking weed at work? Asking for a friend |
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Mar 3, 2019 21:59
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pokie posted:
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Mar 3, 2019 22:09
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JokerOfSouls posted:Should I keep smoking weed at work?  Card: The Pantsless Beekeeper. Interpretive bullshit: Is your consumption of the Herb providing a layer of protection between your mind and the awful bullshit that your job is hurling at you, or is being high stripping away your mental defenses when you encounter some particularly tricky tasks? Like the protective gear of the Pantsless Beekeeper, weed can be a mixed blessing for accomplishing otherwise painful tasks. Unless you work at a weed farm, and your job is to sample and rate the product before shipping to a dispensary. Then, it's probably between you and your boss, as to how high it is good to be, and when. 4271a2ae8bd049fea00dd70b6054d87d |
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Mar 3, 2019 22:14
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drat, you're good |
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Mar 3, 2019 22:24
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is this wart on my inner thigh cancer? i mean the wart on my friend's inner thigh. asking for a freidn. |
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Mar 3, 2019 23:57
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Should we rally every yobber together, count down to three and simultaneously post a big picture of a sheep to satisfy the gods? Asking for a friend. |
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Mar 4, 2019 00:03
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Mummy Napkin posted:is this wart on my inner thigh cancer? i mean the wart on my friend's inner thigh. asking for a freidn.  Card: The Penis Weasel. Interpretive bullshit: Tell your friend to go see a doctor if possible, if they are concerned about the wart. The Penis Weasel urges GROIN CAUTION, as painful things may be afoot. While the wart may not be cancer, it is more probably HPV, which is spread by contact with damaged skin. The Penis Weasel takes a "kill-it-with-fire" approach to STDs, and so should you...I mean, your friend. 4271a2ae8bd049fea00dd70b6054d87d |
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Mar 4, 2019 00:20
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Goons Are Great posted:Should we rally every yobber together, count down to three and simultaneously post a big picture of a sheep to satisfy the gods?  Card: Maze Face. Interpretive bullshit: Consider the mental bandwidth of the gods. They are very busy beings, without enough time to look into every piece of mortal bullshit to grace their inboxes. Since Mass Sheep-Posting amounts to spamming the godly inboxes, the effort could backfire, as the gods could assume phishing and summon the celestial sysadmins to set things right. Proceed with extreme caution: Maze Face reminds us that the gods are enigmatic and generally too busy for our collective bullshit. 4271a2ae8bd049fea00dd70b6054d87d |
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Mar 4, 2019 00:30
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That is a good point. Follow-up question for the cards there: Is it possible to chill on a godly level? Not implying that one could become a God, but at least a mortal version if reaching their standards of transcendental chill beyond the realm of the heavens. |
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Mar 4, 2019 00:53
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 I got some of these coming in too. ---------------- |
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Mar 4, 2019 02:09
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is march drilldo squirt appreciation month????
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Mar 4, 2019 02:35
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Will I... Will I ever score???
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Mar 4, 2019 03:04
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sig by Prof. Crocodile
BYOB spells: Mutually Assured Kindness
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Goons Are Great posted:That is a good point.  Card: The Queen of Holes. Interpretive bullshit: Godly chill is hella important, bruh. However, keeping an eye on all the mortal bullshit requires frequent overtime and copious amounts of emails. The Queen of Holes represents the Gods' use of portals into our realm to keep an eye of things, while her Hole-y Fly Swatter scepter may or may not be an effective filter of communications, depending on whether a particular god has chosen to keep the door open or closed. hamjobs posted:is march drilldo squirt appreciation month????  Card: The Parasitic Fruit. Interpretive bullshit: March is not 'drilldo squirt appreciation month,' as appreciation for such things is eternal. However, the Parasitic Fruit urges caution when practicing the Penetrative Arts in general this month: woe betide ye who doth scrimp on lube! 4271a2ae8bd049fea00dd70b6054d87d |
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Mar 4, 2019 03:07
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Six-Of-Hearts posted:Will I... Will I ever score???  Card: A Pitt Bull Driving A Tiny Truck. Interpretive bullshit: You are a lovable, sexy beast. Get out there and make it happen, and do it _nicely_. A Pitt Bull Driving A Tiny Truck is the reminder to have confidence in yourself and your junk. Do you need to be driving a Ford F-650 to impress the people you wish to bang? Hell, no. You are your own animal. Own it, and play nice. 4271a2ae8bd049fea00dd70b6054d87d |
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Mar 4, 2019 03:17
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Is there a limit of questions the cards can answer for one person? Asking for another friend who wants to know if it's okay to ask me to ask you to ask the cards. |
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Mar 4, 2019 03:31
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Goons Are Great posted:Is there a limit of questions the cards can answer for one person? Asking for another friend who wants to know if it's okay to ask me to ask you to ask the cards. The limit is on the attention span of the practitioner, and their supply of beer. Ask away! This has been fun, so far. 
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Mar 4, 2019 03:44
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I really enjoy this, too. Dear cards, what is the grand secret behind the Press Any Key screen showing up in various occasion? Is it connected to the strange idea that you have to solve a captcha to prove a bot that you are not a bot, despite bots being a lot less good looking than you, the captcha solver?
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Mar 4, 2019 04:03
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Goons Are Great posted:I really enjoy this, too.  Card: A Cat Licking Its Own Butt For Eternity. Interpretive bullshit: On the hamster wheel of life, users of technology are considered a consumable commodity by our Tech Overlords. Much like the spiral animation of a Captcha being fulfilled, the Cat Licking Its Own Butt For Eternity signifies the vicious cycle of technology and the toll it takes upon our human brains. It's important to remember in all of this that technology is a curse we've brought upon ourselves, and a very human one, at that; the phenomenon of 'press any key' may indeed be attributable to it being easier to write key bindings into the program which just listen for a keystroke of any kind whatsoever. Truly, human laziness will reign forever. 4271a2ae8bd049fea00dd70b6054d87d |
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Mar 4, 2019 04:49
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hamjobs posted:is march drilldo squirt appreciation month???? 
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Mar 4, 2019 05:06
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dear tarot deck is it opioid agonist appreciation month
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Mar 4, 2019 06:39
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| # ? May 12, 2024 18:05 |
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Deck of many things, is it going to snow tomorrow?
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Mar 8, 2019 22:07
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