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I am thankful that we live in a society where the rule of law exists to guarantee individuals certain rights and the ability to live in an ordered culture, and I am also thankful for the police, who work hard in a very difficult job to protect and enforce the laws, but I still wish that the police would stop referring to me as a Person of Disinterest every time a crime is committed in this city. |
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Sep 3, 2019 22:48
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| # ? May 7, 2024 12:39 |
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I understand that I don't live a very exciting or interesting life. I am a very busy man and I hardly ever leave the house except to go to work, but I am hardly alone in this.
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Sep 3, 2019 22:50
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"We would also like to name forums poster Godspeed John Glenn as a Person of Disinterest in this case as he never does a loving thing and could not be more uninteresting. I would like to also reiterate that we not considering Mr. Godspeed John Glenn as a suspect at this time and probably never will because he's boring as hell and never does anything." "Sir, could you tell us more about forums poster Godspeed John Glenn?" "No."
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Sep 3, 2019 22:53
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Just the facts, m'am, you're very boring.
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Sep 3, 2019 23:17
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I'm actually very interested |
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Sep 3, 2019 23:18
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cop: HEY YOU STOP me: *perks up, looks around and lays face down on the concrete with my hands behind my back, big grin on my face* cop: *runs past me to get to the real perp* me: 
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Sep 3, 2019 23:21
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cop: please sir could you point to the perpetrator sir: *points to me in the line-up* cop: ...s-sir, y-you're telling me *stifles laugh* THAT guy crimed? cop: CARL, get in here, you gotta get a load of who this guy thinks crimes!
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Sep 3, 2019 23:23
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bee eater posted:cop: HEY YOU STOP so embarrassing when that happens
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Sep 3, 2019 23:34
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*in the interrogation room* me: "I'd like to confess, officer." detective, turning to other detective: "did you hear that? I thought I heard an annoying noise just now, but there's only the two of us in this room."
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Sep 3, 2019 23:39
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getting dragged away kicking and screaming from a "my life matters" protest outside the cop station
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Sep 3, 2019 23:49
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I see a cop car waiting nearby the street, I get so excited. They will surely pull me out, this time for sure. Then the disappointment crashes my world when they smile and wave me through, while pulling out the guy driving behind me.
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Sep 4, 2019 01:09
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"Due to the severity of the crimes committed, we are pursuing every single avenue available to us. Except for that loser." *police Sargent points at me*
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Sep 4, 2019 02:04
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Maybe you should donate to the police department. Police officers have to wake up early for work, so they often eat breakfast on the job. Bacon and eggs is a popular American breakfast, eggs are fragile though, so maybe just get a bunch of bacon and drop it off at the police headquarters in your city. I'm sure they'll soon take an interest in you! Escape From Noise fucked around with this message at 19:34 on Sep 4, 2019 |
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Sep 4, 2019 03:24
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I walk into the cop bar cop 1: Heyyyy everybody look who just walked in, it's our number one perp! My eyes light up cop 2: Hey perp! I can't believe it me: I have been perpetrating crimes including arson and petty theft for literal years and you are finally recognizing my achievement cop 1: Just a big ol perp! Perp-etually a friggin nerd cop 2: boo ya
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Sep 4, 2019 03:34
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i told a cop i would'nt show him my drivers license cause i was a free man travelling he said "ok"
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Sep 4, 2019 04:56
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My picture is on the detective board, but only so two of the strings can criss-cross across my face. |
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Sep 4, 2019 17:03
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Cop: (vaguely waving his baton at me) Stop existing. |
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Sep 4, 2019 17:07
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[me waving a gun around, shouting at people while i’m firing rounds into the air] cop: don’t bother, rookie. see how everyone’s just walking past him? rookie: they’re giving him money too cop: *grim stare* we will NOT bust him for not having a permit. got it? this force refuses to give macnult what he wants |
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Sep 4, 2019 18:00
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google THIS posted:Cop: (vaguely waving his baton at me) Stop existing. hands up, don't care
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Sep 4, 2019 18:01
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me: i’m turning myself in officer: *sigh* again? me: yeah i killed someone and i’ve hidden the body and you’ll never find it officer: *rolls eyes* we can interrogate you but you’re not getting any free food out of this me: i have no lawyer and confess to everything so lock me up [detective walking by] “hey macnult, try punching him” me: can i punch you? officer: you cannot punch me |
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Sep 4, 2019 18:04
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rookie: i dunno. right in front of his house, blood stains leading up to the door, and a handwritten note that reads ”i killed him lol. love, macnult” you sure you don’t wanna question him? officer: i don’t care what the evidence shows. person of disinterest is a person of disinterest. that’s just chain of command |
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Sep 4, 2019 18:08
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suspect was seen running from the scene at a high speed, so that eliminates this nerd as a suspect |
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Sep 4, 2019 19:13
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noodle arms over here couldn't have lifted and wrapped those chains around that ATM to drive off with it |
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Sep 4, 2019 19:15
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Doing donuts in front of the police station but the cops just roll their eyes. "Real original." |
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Sep 4, 2019 19:36
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So excited as the cops drag me through the police station, throw me through the door, and lock it behind me. Then I realize I'm back in the parking lot. |
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Sep 4, 2019 21:06
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:Doing donuts in front of the police station but the cops just roll their eyes.
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Sep 4, 2019 21:08
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google THIS posted:So excited as the cops drag me through the police station, throw me through the door, and lock it behind me. Then I realize I'm back in the parking lot.
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Sep 4, 2019 23:45
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google THIS posted:So excited as the cops drag me through the police station, throw me through the door, and lock it behind me. Then I realize I'm back in the parking lot.
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Sep 5, 2019 00:28
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i wish poliff would stop lisping me as a pershin of diffintwest
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Sep 5, 2019 01:17
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| # ? May 7, 2024 12:39 |
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Frantic, I scramble over a fence and drop into a walkway as the police helicopter circles round. I sprint down the walkway and across the road, dodging a spotlight and try to hide under a tree. A man leans out of the helicopter with a megaphone and yells: "How tall are you? We're trying to calibrate our thermal camera." |
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Sep 5, 2019 08:37
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