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The sun has now been gone for 58 years. Our forecasts do not expect it to make a return in the 2099 summer season. Nano locusts swarms will be a problem again in the fall. Remember to update the firmware on your carbon underweave for the latest in protection from the locusts. We here at the Almanac do not recommend the 212.3 update from earlier this year, a vulnerability was detected in this firmware that could allow the locusts to compromise your skin, bones, and network security. *********** DID YOU KNOW?? Did you know that the fluid that coats your cyber rooster's wings each morning can be used as a substitute for milk or half and half in your coffee each morning? It adds a unique zing to each cup and is safe in quantities of 1tsp or less per day for humans or 6 gallons or less per day for Androfolk. *********** Plant your water chestnuts and baby corn just after the second freeze of the long winter. Yep, some of the only vegetables that remain in 2099 are water chestnuts and baby corn. Sucks. |
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Nov 8, 2019 16:34
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| # ? May 8, 2024 20:27 |
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On this day, November 8, 2019, the Great Cataclysm officially began. |
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Nov 8, 2019 16:51
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a nice set of foam ear plugs will help you ignore the screams while peeling the cyber carrots
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Nov 8, 2019 16:57
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doing the fist of the north star multipunch move at the dirt to make lil holes to put mandrake seeds in. "you are already fertile" i mutter as i turn away.
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Nov 8, 2019 17:17
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LUNAR UPDATE Moon Mk. I is waxing gibbous, perfect for planting dental floss (Montana only) Moon Mk. III is a "new moon." note that this is not THE new moon (that's Moon Mk. XXXIV), it is simply A new moon, a cyclic phenomenon that should be no cause for panic (unlike when Moon Mk. XIX appeared, which was a highly appropriate time to panic) Moons Mk. VII, XII, and XVII.V are in perfect trine, heading towards syzygy at 11:59PM on Nov. 9. don't, uh, don't stand under anything heavy and movable right around then. also avoid planting avocados for 24 hrs on either side of that event, or breeding anything reptilian. any other, smaller moons you might or might not see in the day or night sky are probably illusions. if you pay them too much attention you'll just encourage them.
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Nov 8, 2019 17:19
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Sunspot activity in early March coincides with higher than normal mutant aggression. STAY INDOORS! |
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Nov 8, 2019 17:25
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Water chestnuts bland and boring? Not so fast! Modern-day water chestnuts are rich in lead! Emerging studies suggest this powerful soil enhancement improves vomit strength and builds vital seizure muscles.
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Nov 8, 2019 17:44
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apples are a GREAT source of radium don't let them bite you, though
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Nov 8, 2019 19:53
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Turbo Dogs: What parts can you eat? |
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Nov 8, 2019 22:34
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Today is a Best Day to Dig Pit Traps, Cut Psychic Tumors to Slow Growth, Cut Mundane Tumors to Increase Growth, Slaughter, Paint a Warning Sign, Pray for Aid from the Ivory Citadel, Can Fruit, Kill Radflies
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Nov 9, 2019 02:06
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communicating with the bees via that Jamiroquai dance sequence from Napoleon Dynamite
crimes |
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Nov 12, 2019 02:29
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If the rock is wet, it's raining. If the rock is swinging, the magnetosphere is misaligned. If the rock casts a shadow, it is too late for you.
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Nov 12, 2019 03:14
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setting up a Death Stranding style system where i tote jpgs of wizards airbrushed onto vans across the vast tractless desert
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Nov 12, 2019 03:20
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Wasteland Raider's Almanac |
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Nov 12, 2019 05:45
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whoa |
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Nov 12, 2019 06:12
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Predicted west coast hypercane coastal churn is expected to leave beachcombers with a treasure trove of artifacts to scavenge. The projected hypercane inter-eyewall safety period for this year is December 12-16th. Remember to return to your bunker or dome a day before the projected eyewall return as forecasts may have up to a day of inaccuracy. The next safe period is expected to occur some time in June.
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Nov 12, 2019 07:41
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The Zone is anticipated to become much more active as the cooler season goes on. Expect more blowouts to happen for the first few weeks of November. The December Bandit Activity Increase is expected to happen earlier this year, as using artifacts as gifts is expected to double this holiday season, so plan accordingly.
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Nov 12, 2019 09:05
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Hey everyone, we all know that when our ancestors cursed the skies, gods of men abandoned us for a thousand years. And I know it's a sin to leave the tunnels as cool mother earth protects us and sister night tells us sweet lies until the maddening torment of day takes our lives, but listen, those who trade with the blind nomads hear tales that in the howling north the nomads have felt a cooling as if the demon sun had momentarily turned away, and one of them swore that a drop of water had fallen from the sky and touched his thick carapace! Now I bet you're all wondering, has it been a thousand years since the poisoning? Nobody knows. Maybe if we can figure out what a "season" is we can get an idea. |
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Nov 12, 2019 12:44
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:Hey everyone, we all know that when our ancestors cursed the skies, gods of men abandoned us for a thousand years. And I know it's a sin to leave the tunnels as cool mother earth protects us and sister night tells us sweet lies until the maddening torment of day takes our lives, but listen, those who trade with the blind nomads hear tales that in the howling north the nomads have felt a cooling as if the demon sun had momentarily turned away, and one of them swore that a drop of water had fallen from the sky and touched his thick carapace! Now I bet you're all wondering, has it been a thousand years since the poisoning? Nobody knows. Maybe if we can figure out what a "season" is we can get an idea.
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Nov 12, 2019 13:04
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weather prediction for 2100 winter, unending
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Nov 12, 2019 14:38
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The steady increase of the tropical biome over the past 100 years of global warming means there's really no bad time to plant your GMO oil palms! Which is good, because they are the only thing that can grow in this blighted earth! Recipe of the day: Grandma's Remanufactured Palm Oil Pie Ingredients: Palm oil flour Palm oil I Can't Believe It's Not Apples® artificial flavour FruitForm® solidified palm oil "fruit" shapes Palm sugar Cinnamoid Put all the ingredients into the recombiner and press "pie". |
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Nov 12, 2019 14:56
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Teeth in my water chestnut crop? Have you found assorted teeth in your water chestnut harvests? We here at the Almanac still don't know what the deal is with those. Maybe you've planted your crops not in soil, but in a biteybitey nest. Maybe a gigawitch has put a hex on that part of the land. We're kinda perplexed by the whole teeth thing. The good news? The teeth are 100% edible* and high in calcium. Have a chow on those chompers! Stir them into your nutrient paste for a bit of a crunch! *edible for Androfolk equipped with Malkovor v2+ hydraulic jaw actuators
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Nov 12, 2019 15:05
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| # ? May 8, 2024 20:27 |
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(martha stewart .exe voice) pursued by bandits across hard terrain? scatter a handful of water chestnut seeds behind u, their natural caltrop-like shape will gently caress up the pseudopods of your pursuers
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Nov 12, 2019 17:39
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