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In an epic battle of youth vs. experience, who would win? Golden Girls vs. Spice girls: The Retirement Rumble vs. The Girl-Power Grind. For the purposes of this battle, we will imagine each team at the height of their respective popularities in the early to mid-90s. Let's look at the teams: The Glorius Golden Girls Rose Nylund class - cleric interesting factoid - The only surviving member of The Massacre of St. Olaf, Rose has a tortured past that she compensates for with a sunny personality. special ability - Folk Wisdom. When Folk Wisdom is invoked, the entire team's defense is raised and applies a small health generation. 5% chance of resulting in Confusion. description - Weak on attack, but almost physically indestructible, Rose is an exceptional support member of the team. Blanche Devereaux class - gently caress warlock interesting factoid - Blanche has seduced and had her nasty way with every race, class and creature possible. special ability - Big Dick Energy. Blanche is able to absorb and use the power of any known dick. The size of the dick is used as an effect multiplier to any of her spells. description - This lady fucks! Dorothy Zbornak class - barbarian interesting factoid - Dorothy served one year in the Attica Correctional Facility. special ability - Death Stare. This ability intimidates all but the strongest enemies and can even cause physical damage. In weaker enemies this has a chance to cause instant death and at higher levels, can completely disintegrate foes. Death Stare takes an entire turn and no actions may be performed until is has finished. description - Immense in size and sarcasm, Dorothy stands astride the battlefield like a colossus. Equipped with a rapier wit and a rapier named Wit, Dorothy never backs down from a fight. Sophia Petrillo class - gun owner interesting factoid - Sophia has a gun special ability - Shoot. Sophia shoots you with a gun. description - Stop or she will shoot (you with her gun). Those Spicy Spice Girls Posh Spice class - warlock interesting factoid - Posh is the fancy one! special ability - Tall Shoes. Posh can call upon the power of Tall Shoes to step over any defensive wall or physical barrier. Due to the elemental nature of Tall Shoes, this even grants Posh power over magical barriers. description - Posh is small, but has VERY tall shoes. Scary Spice class - rogue interesting factoid - u wot m8? special ability - Big 'Ol Fart. Scary's in-your-face attitude is only matched by her in-your-face farting. Opponents take damage per turn until fart cloud dissipates. Cloud has a chance to deal damage to allies. description - I swear on me nan *farts* Baby Spice class - adult baby interesting factoid - Somebody needs a change! special ability - Up All Night. Baby Spice can cast Up All Night dealing fatigue damage to one member of the opposing team. description - Uh oh! I think somebody needs a nap! Sporty Spice class - monk special ability - Pumped Up. Pumped Up energizes the team with her exceptional athleticism at the cost of a small amount of physical damage. description - Track suit. Ginger Spice class - English special ability - British Colonialism. Once per day, Ginger Spice can claim one (1) territory of any nation and enslave its people. Ginger's special weakness is Popular Revolt. description - Weak and apologetic, Ginger is actually the most dangerous of all the Spice Girls. |
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Jan 31, 2020 02:50
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| # ? May 2, 2024 23:09 |
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:Sophia Petrillo what kind of gun?
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Jan 31, 2020 02:55
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Heather Papps posted:what kind of gun? pearl-handled .45 Colt revolver
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Jan 31, 2020 03:02
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:pearl-handled .45 Colt revolver 
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Jan 31, 2020 03:07
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Blanche can use seduce on Scary Spice's partner, causing Scary to be immobilized by Jealous Rage, effectively removing her from combat for 5 rounds plus Blanche's level. Wisdom save to reduce by half. |
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Jan 31, 2020 04:06
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im worried gingers ability to enslave the golden girls may be op
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Jan 31, 2020 04:10
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Heather Papps posted:im worried gingers ability to enslave the golden girls may be op I think Sophia's feistiness and penchant for firearms effectively counters Ginger's colonialism. That leaves Rose to take care of Baby, and Dorothy to engage in epic battle with Sporty. So call it a draw, really. |
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Jan 31, 2020 04:18
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Finger Prince posted:I think Sophia's feistiness and penchant for firearms effectively counters Ginger's colonialism. That leaves Rose to take care of Baby, and Dorothy to engage in epic battle with Sporty. So call it a draw, really. unacceptable. there must be a winner
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Jan 31, 2020 04:25
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:unacceptable. there must be a winner Well at least call it even odds. |
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Jan 31, 2020 04:27
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i don't even need to read the stats i know the golden girls will snatch the spice girls wigs without even blinking
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Jan 31, 2020 17:00
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City of Glompton posted:i don't even need to read the stats i know the golden girls will snatch the spice girls wigs without even blinking it's this OP - also consider that they are far higher level and therefore have access to additional spells and have more hit dice!1
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Jan 31, 2020 17:49
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i'm pretty sure the golden and spice girls are different evolutions of the same pokeman. golden girls win it every time, but it's not exactly fair
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Jan 31, 2020 18:37
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if your attention level is high enough you get a spice if your salt level is high enough you get a golden i mean it's like umbreon vs espeon i think it's really just down to taste
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Jan 31, 2020 18:54
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I would argue that the living golden girls could drop the spice girls on their heads, and now that all but rose are undead their innate resistance to most spells and weapons wouldn't even make it a challenge. |
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Jan 31, 2020 20:32
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Can we get a new dungeon master? One with Balance in mind!? |
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Jan 31, 2020 20:37
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City of Glompton posted:i don't even need to read the stats i know the golden girls will snatch the spice girls wigs without even blinking Stoner Sloth posted:it's this OP - also consider that they are far higher level and therefore have access to additional spells and have more hit dice!1 look, we ALL want the Golden Gals to win this fight. We know in our hearts that the classy ladies in their golden years are fan favorites and should be a shoe in to win. What I'm saying is that even though they SHOULD win, we all know that real life often subverts expectations. I'm asking everyone to imagine a battle between the Golden Girls and the Spice Girls and what unexpected results may occur. Ebeneezer Splooge posted:Can we get a new dungeon master? One with Balance in mind!? absolutely
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Jan 31, 2020 23:18
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lol at everything, butGODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:
LMAO |
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Feb 1, 2020 03:46
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| # ? May 2, 2024 23:09 |
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Gilmore girls doing a run-in and clearing the ring before we cut to commercial
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Feb 1, 2020 05:06
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