ITT we're the "that guy" of the office

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Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

Ha ha, are you guys working hard? Or hardly working? Ha ha :mrgw:

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# ? Sep 12, 2020 06:16

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# ? May 18, 2024 08:16

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

Hey Lorraine, how's it going down in accounts, still crunching those numbers? You can crunch my numbers anytime if you know what I mean

*Leans in uncomfortably close and whispers _{"the numbers are my penis"}

# ? Sep 12, 2020 06:45

FutonForensic

*polishing funko pop of coach belichick*

# ? Sep 12, 2020 07:07

Macnult

FutonForensic posted:

*polishing funko pop of coach belichick*

# ? Sep 12, 2020 07:35

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Fw: Fw: Fw: Fw:

# ? Sep 12, 2020 07:35

Macnult

i gotta let everyone i meet know that i�m the hotshot in this meeting. the big guns. big chief motherfucker theyll think of me. carol gets the finger guns, but all that everyone else is getting is a firm handshake and a �haha try to keep up� out of me

# ? Sep 12, 2020 07:38

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

*interrupting* I mean sure Diane, we could do that, but I think we're all in agreement that we should ACKSHUALLY [repeats Diane's idea, but with the word 'agile' thrown in the mix]

# ? Sep 12, 2020 07:42

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Fw: Fw: Fw: Fw:

Reply all:

(Sent from my iPhone)

# ? Sep 12, 2020 07:47

Gross Dude: Gross Dude

*makes slack bot respond with an annoying in joke every time anyone in the company says coffee*

# ? Sep 12, 2020 08:14

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

# ? Sep 12, 2020 09:10

frump truck: hello... again!

hey guys! oh, big gulps, huh? alright. welp see ya later

# ? Sep 12, 2020 13:07

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

*interrupting a conversation in the lunchroom* "hey hey jo.. hey joanne - if I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me? Haha don't go running to HR now. You gals have a good one okay"

# ? Sep 12, 2020 13:22

Zurtilik: The Biggest Brain in Guardia

Hey, Chewie, could you show me how to save a picture to my desktop again?

# ? Sep 12, 2020 13:41

nut

*practices making out with his stapler*

# ? Sep 12, 2020 14:05

Prof. Crocodile

i am brushing my teeth in the busiest bathroom in the building at 1430--which is way after lunch but is also peak bathroom time--like i do every day. and i brush my teeth for a *long* time.

who am i? do i have some kind of dental work or something? do i even work here?

no one knows.

i am a mystery. all you know for sure is that 5 days a week i laboriously grind nebulized particles of strangers' poo poo into my teeth.

# ? Sep 12, 2020 23:27

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

My dirty coffee cup is in the sink in the shared office kitchen. It always gets cleaned but I'm not at all curious as to who cleans it, and never clean it myself. I put it in the sink and not the dishwasher, despite what the sign says. I also never change the filters in the coffee machine, and ignore the emails about their being a kitchen cleaning roster.

I stand next to other people's desks and drink coffee too loudly. *Shlurp* *shmack* "MMM" are the noises I make, as I drink coffee from my clean cup that I didn't wash myself.

I'm oblivious to how much people loathe me.

Chewbecca fucked around with this message at 05:26 on Sep 13, 2020

# ? Sep 12, 2020 23:34

Barking Gecko: Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

I take the last cup of coffee, but don't brew a fresh pot.
I steal other people's lunches from the refrigerator.
and
I cook fish in the break room microwave.

# ? Sep 13, 2020 05:25

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

Fly always half undone

Stinks out the staff bathroom with rancid shits

Sweat stains in the armpits of his polyester shirt

# ? Sep 13, 2020 08:11

Mekchu: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Happy Tuesfriday everyone! What are you gonna do on your 5 day weekend?

Oh really? That's cool, that's cool. I was just gonna chill at home and rewatch all the megacuts of Mr Skin. Alright man take it easy slugger haha.

# ? Sep 13, 2020 10:32

Elmnt80

*Listening to my terrible music at an inappropriately loud volume over my speakers*

It like, helps me focus. I get more work done when I'm making it so everyone else can't work effectively.

# ? Sep 13, 2020 11:42

Zurtilik: The Biggest Brain in Guardia

I'm gonna slam my fist on the desk every time the phone rings and loudly curse becuase that's cheaper than therapy.

# ? Sep 13, 2020 13:17

Elmnt80

Eats taco bell for lunch every day even though I know it gives me super stinky farts afterwards. Just walking around crop dusting everyone from like 2-5. I can't even smell them myself anymore, but you sure can.

# ? Sep 14, 2020 19:38

Khanstant

*uses thumbtack to post up dilbert cartoon*

# ? Sep 14, 2020 19:57

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Khanstant posted:

*uses thumbtack to post up dilbert cartoon*

*Hangs up a printout of a forwarded email that contains a photo of a cut-out Dilbert cartoon*

# ? Sep 14, 2020 20:06

Prof. Crocodile

Drink-Mix Man posted:

*Hangs up a printout of a forwarded email that contains a photo of a cut-out Dilbert cartoon*

pro-level "that guy" move

# ? Sep 14, 2020 20:40

google THIS

Drink-Mix Man posted:

*Hangs up a printout of a forwarded email that contains a photo of a cut-out Dilbert cartoon*

# ? Sep 14, 2020 21:05

Trying

i smelt my own staples

# ? Sep 15, 2020 04:25

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

"sorry for interrupting but I don't think you've considered... [thing you've not only considered, but spoken about at length, emailed about, and choreographed an interpretive dance sbout"]"

# ? Sep 15, 2020 09:03

google THIS

Reading all my PowerPoint slides verbatim, because not only am I THAT "that guy," I'm also the guy who crams so much tiny text into each slide you couldn't read it yourself anyway

# ? Sep 15, 2020 15:23

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

Calls any woman in the office under 40 "young lady". Calls any woman in the office over 40 his "work wife"

# ? Sep 15, 2020 16:14

frump truck: hello... again!

what's it like to be a "this guy" of the office

# ? Sep 15, 2020 16:54

Finger Prince

Livin' the dream.
Livin' the dream

# ? Sep 15, 2020 17:19

Finger Prince

Barking Gecko posted:

I take the last cup of coffee, but don't brew a fresh pot.
I steal other people's lunches from the refrigerator.
and
I cook fish in the break room microwave.

There is a special place in hell for refrigerator lunch thieves. While it's terrible for anyone to lose their job (less terrible if they took an early retirement package) because of covid, our lunch thief is no longer around and I do not mourn their absence.

# ? Sep 15, 2020 17:22

nut

tested out saying "bangarang" to all my coworkers when I saw them last week, results came back negative, reverting to "ahoy" until further notice

# ? Sep 15, 2020 17:39

Mekchu: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Manager - "Ok so with that said anyone have questions?"

(Everyone starts to get up to leave)

That guy - "So I just wanted to clarify..(repeats everything the manager just said but asks, 'is that right?' at the end to which the manager says yes but then asks more clarification questions that would were answered in the first part where they just repeated what the manager said making it awkward for everyone wanting to leave and go back to their work)"

# ? Sep 16, 2020 00:49

Mekchu: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

*struggles to get the most basic work done on time and in an organized fashion*

"So for the new hire, you want me to mentor them?"

(Gets told no, but still tries to butt in and give mentor advice anyway)

# ? Sep 16, 2020 00:51

Prof. Crocodile

google THIS posted:

Reading all my PowerPoint slides verbatim, because not only am I THAT "that guy," I'm also the guy who crams so much tiny text into each slide you couldn't read it yourself anyway

dude don't even joke about that

# ? Sep 19, 2020 05:35

Escape From Noise

Mornin'! Workin' hard or... HARDLY WORKIN? Hahahaha! Well, gotta go look busy!
[Walks away with the last cup of coffee from the coffee maker without brewing a fresh pot]

# ? Sep 21, 2020 04:56

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# ? May 18, 2024 08:16

Jenny Agutter

Ah it's 8am Time to listen to my voicemails on speakerphone

# ? Sep 22, 2020 00:08

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > ITT we're the "that guy" of the office