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Now that Jeffrey's in full charge of the site, there's been discussion in a few places about what people would like to see done with the front page. I might be a rarity, but it was reading stuff on the front page that got me to register for the forums a few years ago. Maybe people talking about their favourite front page articles would be useful in working out what people want to see more of. A few of my favourites are: Halloween SWAT by Zack Parsons (2005) Like you walk past the alley and you see five of these guys standing around a burning oil drum. You'll keep walking, but you'll never forget what you saw. Cormac McCarthy Writes Copy for the Fleshlight Website by Zack Parsons (2012) It will look upon the proud javelin of Apollo's Kyparissos or the foulest specimen of expelled filth and intestine parasites with the same empty yearning as the clam's siphon for grit. There's Probably No Escape From Savage Bloodprison Island by Dennis Farrell (2013) If you haven't noticed, just off shore the entire island is surrounded by a fence that protrudes over six feet above the surface of the water. That sucker is high grade chain link. Newest tech on the market. You ever tried to scale a chain link fence? It's impossible. The holes are nowhere near big enough for your feet to find purchase. Hunter S. Thompson Recaps Last Night's Episode of Big Bang Theory by Zack Parsons (2014) What sort of Stalinist nightmare is taking place that made those pitiful sons of bitches laugh? How many Kalishnikovs and tabs of LSD does it take to make people laugh like that? They were hooting. Some poor, insane bastard was hooting at this. Last Lives (Movie Review) by Garrett Neil and Sean Neil (2015) Judge Reinhold is just constantly bewildered and amazed by everything that comes out of his own mouth. He's like the white Ice-T. Slavoj Zizek's Board Game Reviews by Zack Parsons (2015) We can be certain that the constant ingestion of spheres is not the actual desire of the hippos or they would become sated. Instead, they are endlessly hungry. For sexual gratification? For a mother's love? TERMINATE SANTIAGO WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE by Asterios (2016) He will attempt to say, "We are not so different, you and I." YOU ARE VERY DIFFERENT. He is a MURDEROUS DRUG LORD. You are A REAL CHILL GUY. You like INDIE ROCK and enjoy "BAD" MOVIES. Santiago finds NO VALUE IN CAMP. What front page stuff have you liked? Rascar Capac has a new favorite as of 17:46 on Oct 12, 2020 |
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Oct 12, 2020 17:29
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Fashion SWAT and the Great Authors series are both awesome. The CONEX convict classifieds are a personal favorite of mine. https://www.somethingawful.com/series/conex-convict-connections/
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Oct 12, 2020 23:56
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William S. Burroughs Writes the Descriptions for Chili's Margarita Menu I still occasionally think of the sentence "A child won't always give up his teeth on the first kick."
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Oct 13, 2020 00:08
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https://www.somethingawful.com/horrors-of-porn/horrible-saga-swapavi/ Literally, Zack losing his mind has he watchs the worst porn known to man and his loss of sanity are great.
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Oct 14, 2020 19:52
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all the dog classifieds https://www.somethingawful.com/series/dog-classifieds/
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Sep 16, 2021 04:16
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That Insidious Beast by Zack Parsons is good. It has a similar weird vibe to his “Instructions For A” series. Here is the first paragraph of the first part, “Magnum P.I.”: Magnumpi is in the war. Blood is everywhere. Explosions. Body parts fly through the air. A mangled survivor pleads for death. Magnumpi stabs the miserable creature in its hearts as a mercy finish. Magnumpi wipes gore from his eyes and continues the slaughter.
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Sep 16, 2021 04:39
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